How close are you with your mother ?

United States
April 23, 2013 4:43pm CST
My boyfriends mother lives far away from him, he lives here in California, she lives in Kansas. I have always lived in the same city as my parents, I have never gone more than 3 days without talking to my mother, and excluding the time when I was a kid and lived with my grandmother who wouldn't let me talk to my parents every day , i have never gone more than 1 day not knowing where my mom was. My boyfriend goes a month sometimes without talking to his mother, and sometimes even that long not knowing whether she is at her home or on vacation. Now let me clear up, my boyfriend is the sweetest man I have ever known and loves his mother very very much, it's just simply the way that their relationship is, just the way they are. But because I have such a different one with my mother, it still just baffles me. What kind of relationship do you currently have with your mother? How often do you speak with her ?
5 people like this
15 responses
@ayeeesha (1129)
• Philippines
23 Apr 13
When I was younger, not so much. But now, I am very close, but we got closer when I started to have my own family. She's always there to guide me and tells me what to do since I am a new parent. And she always gives me advice on how to handle family situations :) It's a good thing my house is just near her house so I see her everyday. Sometimes I go there, at times she visits us :)
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 13
That's good that you two were able to become closer. I feel bad for new mothers that don't have their own mother or a good mother to give advice and help. I know when I start having kids, I am going to definitely need my mothers help and guidance :p
2 people like this
@ayeeesha (1129)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
You'll definitely need it. It's as if our mothers know everything when it comes to parenting :)
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 13
I am best friends with my mother. I live four blocks from her as well. and I live the same amount from my man. I go to my mans house to sleep at night and last night i spent a few hhours with my mother. today I am going to her house as well. I moved to florida from ny and both my mother and I would fly back and forth to visit all the time. I then realized I needed to move back to where she lived. I was leaving next year but changed my mind because I see my mother needs me there. I would die before I would let a month go by without talking to my mother. your boyfriend loves his mother but not as much as he should.
2 people like this
@ajithlal (14569)
• India
25 Apr 13
I also think that mother is the best friend one can have in life. I think most times mother loves their children very much.
• India
24 Apr 13
i live with my mother yet there are times when i go out of town for days on end. but irrespective of which part of the world i am in i make sure that i call her atleast twice a day. my day simply has to start by listening to her voice and i cannot go to bed without talking to her and telling her all about my day. and most importantly somehow or the other i manage to get scolded by her atleast once a week. that is what makes it all the more special. my mother is the most favorite part of my life. i seriously don't know what i could do without her.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 13
That's very sweet. And I can relate to being scolded by my mother too :p but shes my mom and so I just try to tell myself "that's just what moms do" to help me be patient with her when she does. Its very sweet that you seem to be best friends with your mother, because i feel like my mom is my best friend :)
2 people like this
• India
24 Apr 13
i was so close to my mother before marriage but after living in my husband country i have become too far from my family and for that i see her once in a year, or sometimes even after 3 or 4 years... and i talk on phone like once in a week..
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 13
Distance can make it very hard, but sometimes it just happens and if its for love, I think that helps make it more worthwhile. My boyfriends sister met her husband at a medieval festival in Boston, he is austrailian and lived in Sydney, but they fell in love anyways and so she moved to Australia to be with him, I think its very sweet :)
2 people like this
@redredrose (1107)
• United States
23 Apr 13
When my mom lived in the same city as me i saw her several times a week. now that she lives in Florida and me in Missouri i don't see her as often maybe once or twice a year. Tho i do talk to he almost every day of the week. my mom is my best friend and i don't understand why your boyfriend doesn't talk to his mom more often. Years ago when my hubby didn't see his mom for 2 months and she only lived 30 minutes from us i bugged him about that and said how can you not see her when she lives so close to us and is your mother. I am so close to my om and talk to her nearly everyday so when i see someone doesn't i wonder how and why they are this way even when they say they have a close relationship. If you are that close why not talk more often and if you live that close why not see them more often. That's how i feel because my mom is everything to me.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 13
I try very hard to forget because when I think of it, it just makes me so angry so I block it from my mind, but my oldest brother hasn't spoken to my mother in 2 years, hasn't seen her in almost 3. He is a selfish coward that uses the "estrangement" to play the pity card on people even though its him that doesn't talk to my mother. She did absolutely nothing to him or make him think that she didn't want to talk to him anymore, he just didn't call for like 2 months and decided to come up with this elaborate lie that he couldn't talk to her anymore. He whines on facebook all the time about it and it enrages me and I will respond on his time line, for all of his friends to see, and tell that he is a self centered liar, and tell him to man up and call her.
2 people like this
@cttolledo (5054)
• Philippines
23 Apr 13
I am close with my mother..She knows my problem, she's there when I'm sick and we always exchange message..My mom and I have a long distance relationship but we do not take it as a reason of not sharing our problems ..My mom used to visit me here especially when I got sick when no one could take care of me.
• United States
23 Apr 13
That's very sweet that she is always there when you are sick. When my boyfriend is sick, part of the reason that I take extra care of him is because I know he doesn't have his mama with him and it just makes me sad, so I just try to make him feel extra loved to try to fill that void.
2 people like this
• Philippines
23 Apr 13
we do talk frankly but we are not close together because we have many differences. i lerned from all her faults.which contribute for who am I today.we always have fight adnd argument for her being mother she don't listen to my advice or correction to whatever mistakes she made for she always say she is a mother meaning even when she is wrong I have no right nor authority to tell her what to do. even My purposes is for her own good.She give different meaning on it.
• United States
23 Apr 13
I do know what you mean about mothers thinking that they are always right, my mom and I don't fight really anymore but I remember the rough times that we had in the past and she too would play the "I'm your mother" card and it was really infuriating. She still plays the age card though at times, that because shes so much older that she therefor always knows better.
2 people like this
@desiree91 (515)
• Malaysia
23 Apr 13
My relationship with my mother is more intimate than ever before. I can talk to her just about anything and we do enjoy each other's company. I couldn't stay mad for long if we argue. I'm now living with my mother and so is my brother though we're grown up. My brother loves hanging out with his friends, otherwise he is busy working so oftentimes days(or even weeks) go by without him exchanging a single word with my mother. Filial relationships do baffle me also. We can see that some people can hardly wait to go home and see their parents after being away for a month or two. Some others though, seem to adopt that "couldn't care less" attitude when it comes to this. While it is true that it does not mean that they do not love their parents, I personally think they might be taking things for granted.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 13
Thats very good that you can talk to your mother about anything, my mother and I have reached that kind of communication as well and its really helpful in order to get the best advice. I think that maybe my boyfriend is the way he is because if he wasn't, every day would be painful because he would miss her so much, so maybe its a coping mechanism.... but i still know I couldn't do it.
2 people like this
@bintang9 (196)
• Indonesia
23 Apr 13
Very close to my mother. But it was some years ago. My mother had passed away, and I regret not to make her very happy in her life. How lucky you are, your mother still accompany you a whole day
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 13
I'm really sorry to hear that your mother passed away :( And I do feel very lucky that I have my mother so close to me all the time, she might drive me crazy sometimes :p but I love her very very much.
2 people like this
@srvsn12 (111)
• India
24 Apr 13
Im very close to my mother.As much as i remember i shared every thing with my mother.After marriage also i dont have a day that i didnt call her.In my school days after school i share every thing with her like a story, even in my college days also. Sharing things with her is a big relief to me.With this topic you freshen all my memories with my mother.Thanks. Im sorry about relationship between you and your mother.Your boyfriend is a good man that he loves and take care of his mother.
2 people like this
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
24 Apr 13
I speak to my mom at least once aday, sometimes more. Out of five kids that my parents have I'm the only one who calls everyday to check up on them. To make sure they are ok. They live alone and they are in their late seventy's with health issues. So of course I worry but it seems I worry more then the others. One sister and one brother hardly calls them. The other brother and sister may call once a week or every two weeks. I think when it comes to men they are so different when it comes to calling their mom or parents. My husband is very close to his parents like I am. His two other brothers who live far away hardly call their mom. I remember they didn't even call for mother's day last year. I think its so cold and heartless. Some men just don't seem to care and it too baffles me to why. There are four brothers in my husband's family, and they were all raised together in a loving home but two of the brothers are a bit more distant and I just don't get it.
2 people like this
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
24 Apr 13
Well, I tell you the truth, I trust almost always with my mother, rather than with my father. I know, it is bad to say, but you should know that between me and my father, unfortunately there exist no good relations! Yet it should not be so! However, if this happens it is also cause my fault. I might have done better towards him, if so maybe it was, I could relate well with my father who still admire and I want to him a world of good. However, the fact remains that at the moment I am very close with my mother only. I think I still have time to put things right in my family!
2 people like this
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
23 Apr 13
We're not very close, I'm sad to say.
2 people like this
@joizee (502)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
Hi there! I can relate much to your topic because I have a closer ties with my mother as well. It just developed when I had my own family and my father left to work abroad. We got so close that every journey of my pregnancy life, she was always there... Well, more than my husband, almost... I was thankful I had that relationship with my mother because I am more confident and more proud to become like her. Thanks for the discussion ;)
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Apr 13
That's really good that you are close with her. Especially if your father is far away, I imagine that you help her feel less lonely. I think that its also great to hear that she was a good role model for you of what kind of woman and mother you want to be, I think the world would be a better place if that happened more often.
2 people like this
@joizee (502)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
Thanks for the comment spicysweetie21 :) so even though my father left, it was a blessing in disguise for me and mother to have a closer tie. I still tell her anything and everything about my married life...well, you know, not that "all". LOL! Have a good day ;)
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14569)
• India
25 Apr 13
I love my mother very much. Now I am married so I miss her very much. I quarreled with my mother I love her very much. I love my father & brother also .