long distance relationship makes me paranoid all the time

Philippines
April 25, 2013 3:50pm CST
It's been six months when I and my husband were in a long distance relationship and I am still glad that we still have communication and we still maintain our love. It's a lie when i say I still believe him since he doesn't talk to me that longer compare to before and I'm missing him so badly. Every time we didn't see each other on cam I am thinking that maybe he is with another woman and I really hate myself for that. We love each other and i feel it but it's not enough. I want more time.
2 people like this
10 responses
@m0nski (2)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
long distance relationship is a really big challenge for couples. based on what i've seen almost all long distance relationship will eventually fail. however, your case is different since you are already married. i don't even consider it as a long distance relationship, since it's already more than just a relationship. you and your husband are one. you are committed to each other and your kids. the best thing you can do is avoid starting an argument when you are chatting. small things like this will have huge impact to both of you. instead of enjoying each other's company you will end up arguing, and who knows what will happen if it continues like that. trust your husband. be there for him, listen to him. i think you understand the situation better, so you better take charge of your marriage. be nice to him. stop thinking about him having extra marital affairs, coz if it will happen, it really will happen, and you being hostile is not helping the situation. i don't know what your circumstances are, but i'm speaking through experience because i'm a survivor of this so called long distance relationship.
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
thank you monski.. this would help a lot..
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
based on my experienced i can honestly say, its not easy bieng there.. . it requires effort, understanding and long patience... Its nice to be cared , but it is much nicer if your with that someone , you can see each other give your sweetest hug and hold hands... BUT it will work if you want it too... but temtptation is around the corner so be careful and be vigilant always..
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
that's why i'm planning to go home soon..
@salonga (27965)
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
Oh dear, you are in a very difficult situation. I can't blame you for feeling that way. Indeed, it is not good for the husband and wife to have long distance relationship. They are subject to temptation. I've seen so many long distance relationship that did not work although there are few that survive (thank God!) How could the husband survive life without his wife? He is biological needs after all. In that case, it is the husband who is more prone to temptation. I do understand why you turn paranoid. Well what can you do...just pray that your husband will not be tempted and also pray that your long distance relationship will not be for long.
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
and in sha allah i will be going home months from now..
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
He must be really busy and might be uncomfortable letting you see how tired he is. Don't let jealousy eat up your mind. Give your full trust in him. I am sure he misses you more.
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
maybe missing each other is one of the factors why i become paranoid,.. i always want him to talk to me as in 24hours a day..haha.. anyway thank you
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
hey kimte20 that's natural to feel that way in a sense that you and your husband is in a long distance relationship i feel that too but in my case were not yet married but still i feel that his on other shoulder lol in this case most of girls or even boys are paranoid thinking of what his/her husband doing did he/she has an affair with someone its so tough for us but dont get into our mind that he/she has doing something wrong lets trust each other in the end it will end last for t he two of you patience and trust is the key to leave lastng forever...
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
patience and trust =) i will practice them.. thank you
@srisahara (4099)
• Indonesia
26 Apr 13
Yes, you are right friend long distance relationship trigger some paranoid thoughts. I also feel this when my husband work in other city. I think it is a good idea if you express your feeling to get the best solution. Yes, it is important to keep your love.
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
are you a muslim? alhamdullilah, so am i.. we will keep this love srisahara
@Angelpink (4023)
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
Hi ! Near or far if you are committed to each other then nothing will happen but human as are we have a weak nature , sometimes we are tempted especially if we are distant with our love one. It is but normal to entertain thoughts that might be our partner have someone out there but let us not dwell on this rather divert your attention, do something productive that can make you happy. Always communicate to husband with good and loving mood , but reminds him always your vows and commitment for each other , most importantly is to pray to God.
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
diverting would help. thank you so much.. i will always be calm and have a good mood..
@ayeeesha (1134)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
I really think that when two people love each other, they'll keep the relationship going whether they are together or far apart. It's normal to feel paranoid since you don't see your husband every minute but you have to learn to trust him. If he loves you, he won't do anything that he know will hurt you :) Just keep the faith and maintain communication with him :)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
thank you for the thoughts ayeesha..
@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
I think physical presence is a vital element in order for a relationship to last. Although some people say that long-distance relationships are possible, I feel that these relationships would be a challenge for both. Doubts can easily set in. I think it's really better if you could find some way that you could be with your husband. In the meantime, you just have to be optimistic about the situation. A little prayer might help too :)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
a lot of prayer =) and months from no in sha allah we will be together again
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
25 Apr 13
not everyone is cut out for long distance some of them end up cheating some of them end up depressed or paranoid but you know your husband, you know whether he is trustworthy or not
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
thinking of him... yes you're right i know him. thank you