Can you stop yourself from being jealous?

@blinjk (613)
Philippines
April 27, 2013 5:39am CST
It is normal to be jealous sometimes but I think you should take it easy sometimes because sometimes it will make the situation worst.But what if you can't really stop it for it is really breaking your heart.What are the things you should do?Do you have to let your partner know or just keep quiet and just keep it to yourself? I really can't stop myself from thinking about that now and I need some advice.My boyfriend usually tells me to trust him but every time I check his facebook there are lots of girls who tries to compliment him and he also entertain them.He is a DJ and lots of girls flirts with him.Can you handle that without being jealous?He knows that I am jealous but he keeps on doing it.
8 people like this
25 responses
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
Oh my gosh! I would certainly be purple with jealousy every time. The main problem is the his job needs him to be like that! I think I couldn't contain myself from being jealous if he's also obviously flirting with them. But I think there's no point in the relationship if every single time you'd be thinking of what he's doing or if he's cheating. I think you should stop looking at his facebook account. Just tell him to post you and him on the photos. Then don't monitor, enjoy the moment you have with him. But tell him outright that if ever you find out he's playing with you, you are going out of the door. Be firm on this. If he's really true to you, he will make a way to make you feel secure. But heck, I'm out of the door if I were being courted by a DJ. Temptation is just too great with these men. Good luck! Have a great mylot experience ahead!
2 people like this
@blinjk (613)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
You have really given me an idea.But I will not tell him to do that.It is up to him,if he will do that then maybe I will be really so happy.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
Jealousy is a normal feeling but too much is not good anymore. Of course it is a normal thing to feel jealous seeing and reading comments from girls. But if you really love your boyfriend you must trust him. Be confident that, hundreds or maybe thousand of girls are flirting with him- but her loves you and you are his girlfriend.
2 people like this
27 Apr 13
Jealousy is really hard feeling to hide it shows most of the times by words were telling him unconsciously, moods gets in a way, and different creations of suspicion and all in all results to bad things. When I got jealous sometimes to my boyfriend since he is a very gentleman and many admire him good thing he is stupid for not knowing ha ha, I always brought things up to him and to let them know that they should keep me feel secure and somehow do some actions from my jealousy, not to feel that way. It also gives the man a good feeling that proves that we truly love them that's why we get jealous, it gives them comfort at the same time they can do something about it instead of hiding it. Hiding may cause a attitude towards your relationship with him and not so helpful.
@adhyz82 (36262)
• Indonesia
27 Apr 13
i think if we have a good activity, it can reduce our think for having jealous too much..
1 person likes this
@blinjk (613)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
Maybe you are right.I should just try to look for a good activity I can stop from thinking.Thanks.
1 person likes this
• Spain
29 Apr 13
Jealousy is more about self-love than real love for another person.When you feel like this just turn the situation around and think: - Where is he going to find a woman like you?.He should be also afraid of losing you.or not? You are not less that all those woman that write in his facebook. Apart from this, I think he should help you to overcome your fears. If he continue doing this, knowing that it hurts you, he doesn't deserve you. You are better without him.
@anil02 (3622)
• India
28 Apr 13
Jealous is human behavior. I think it is not possible to stop it. But it always not bad thing. some time jealous inspire and motivate us to improve. You must be trust on you boy friend and proud on yourself that your boy friend is too much charming that many girls like to flert with him. Remember trust is pre condition for any relation. Good luck
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Apr 13
Answer me this. Does he treat you like you are the only woman on the planet when you are together? If so, don't worry about his fans. If he Only wants you , they don't have a chance. But... if he makes you feel like he is just there to be there, a rest stop between gigs, then let him go. What you suspect may be going on.I had one brief bout with being jealous. i told me guy how I felt and instead of just saying trust me, he Showed me how silly it was to be jealous because he Wanted only me.A man in love Should be able to do that. So sit him down and explain Exactly how you feel. Good Luck.
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
28 Apr 13
Not if you are not married. Marriage works because you know the other person is dedicated to you, and you them. If he is just a "boy" *friend*, then yeah, you should be worried. He can ditch you for a better looking girl at any moment. And... he will. Sad fact of life: A boy who does not want to get married.... normally has a reason. Typically because he wants to be able to find someone new at some point. Hello? Why do you think he hasn't proposed to you? I do not know if you are already living together, but if you are, marriage won't help. Getting married when you are already living together won't make it last. Marriage only works when you do it right.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
28 Apr 13
Hi. Your needed to be a bit open mind about your boy friend's fans (girls) on FB. I think he enjoys the attention due to his profession and let it be. You getting jealous of him is not going to help in any manner because it is not going to change behaviour of your boy friend.
1 person likes this
• Calcutta, India
28 Apr 13
Jealousy is inherent in human nature and if you meticulously observe you will find that the jealousy starts among the siblings from the childhood. Infants have not any sense but when they become toddlers, the first sign of jealousy appears towards his/her junior brother/sister and it is so dreadful sometimes that the toddler even try to throttle the infant. Thus what starts in the early age takes a firm root and remains to continue in the adult age. In case of love life jealousy takes heavy toll by way of murder even.There are so many dramas based on the jealousy in love life. Everybody knows it well. The question is how one will conquer over it lest it should not harm him/her. It is indeed very very difficult and one has to train and educate the mind over a long period as to what one should do and act and what one should not do or act. Love can not be obtained by force and even by money and even if it is acquired, it will not last.One has to be liberal and should allow the other to have their own away and the spirit of competition should not go beyond the person. People may think that this is a cowardice act to which all peace efforts in the world are cowardice. To calmly bear any loss is the greatest gift that man has ever received from God.
1 person likes this
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
The last time I remember that my boyfriend and I had a problem was when he divulged to me that he has a crush before with one of my good friends. Of course, I got upset and jealous and also thought that maybe he just pursue me just to be nearer or getting closer with my friend. He said no, and he has no intention at all to be getting closer with my friend. He was just admired her before. It really hurts of course with my side but I just understand him as I didn't see anything sign that he cheated on me.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
You just said the keyword--DJ. It is natural that a lot of girls would get attracted to him. And maybe he is sort of flirting with them. But maybe it is just a front to make his followers feel important. Just take your cool. React when you think that he is doing something beyond what he is supposed to do.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (18388)
• Delhi, India
28 Apr 13
Hello Blinjk, Yes in such case its not easy to keep cool its bit normal that one will be jealous to see her BF has lots of female friends.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
thaat should be really hard. i think its not really something you can easily not do because to be jealous is a feeling and you cannot easily shut down feelings, right?
1 person likes this
@cyjh21 (160)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
yeah, i guess it's so hard to take it easy when you are jealous. It happened to me before.. but 1 thing i learned.. it's the matter of the mind. what i mean is the more you think of it, the more you get jealous.. until you get paranoid. In the first place, he is already your boyfriend,. your edge.. those girls are just flirting but you.. GIRLFRIEND.. instead of being jealous that may begin a silent war, use your edge.. also. the more you know, the more you suffer..sometimes we really do trust them but when we know something. we become paranoid.. we think about it day and night until we become suspicious,so my point is stop looking on his Facebook..:) like this. he's not doing anything then you see something there that makes you suspicious of him.. but again,he's really not doing anything.. you're just being paranoid because of what you know. or what you see..
1 person likes this
27 Apr 13
It is very obvious to be jealous for everybody in this situation, but you should try to keep busy your schedule and do not care for them and another way is that you can make him jealous as well by attracting some other boy to you and to chat with another boys on facebook, you can upload some of yours good photos on facebook and can like the comments which other boys do on your photos like that you can make jaelous to your boyfriend and if he really loves you then he would stop his activity on facebook..
@marguicha (106303)
• Chile
27 Apr 13
There is normal jealousy and a pathologic one. It depends on whether there is a motive for it or you are making up stories . If it is the latter, you will find out alone sooner or later. I knew a jealous man and all his GF ended up fleeing.
1 person likes this
• Bulgaria
27 Apr 13
It is normal to be jealous, but a little bit - some kind of healthy jealousy :) You could find some hobby that distracts your thoughts - something you really like and love
1 person likes this
@arpazia (191)
• United States
27 Apr 13
Everyone gets jealous, it is normal. You should stop checking his facebook, doing that isn't going to help you. If he is a dj this just might be part of the job, he has to be liked by people so that he can get work, that be said he doesn't need to take it too far and if he does and he knows it bothers you he might care about your feelings.
1 person likes this
@paulli3 (312)
• China
27 Apr 13
I think the most important thing people should do is to believe they are so good. When people lose their confidence, they are easy to be jealous. Just focus on improving yourself and you will find you are not jealous any more.
1 person likes this