So Controlling!

Jacksonville, Florida
April 29, 2013 11:45am CST
This guy is so controlling, he tries to control every aspect of her life. He even gets angry and jealous when she tries to go into her grandma's room to talk to her. He comes home and wants all of her attention on him always. Ridiculous. Her grandma, her and I all had a little therapy session kind of where her grandma and I were trying to make her see the truth and tried to talk some sense into her! She didn't see it until we pointed things out to her. Most people don't see it when they are the ones in the situation. I just hope one day she stands up to him and shocks the H*ll out of him! I think her standing up to him or leaving him are the only ways things will change for her. No one deserves to be anyone's doormat and that is exactly what she is to him. Truly sad.
4 people like this
13 responses
• United States
29 Apr 13
Sometimes our minds are clouded by things we take in either food, music, television or maybe feelings. We have to make a daily change to keep focused on whether people are in our lives to add or subtract something from us. Pray that your friend sees the truth and you guys keep showing it to her.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Apr 13
I have been praying that she sees the truth and does something to change it.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Apr 13
It sounds like she's becoming a victim of domestic violence. Don't assume she's being a doormat-our minds get clouded, thinking we're in love. I was a victim myself for more than ten years-and I'm so grateful my mom didn't give up. Stay in contact and try to keep her away from him!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Apr 13
Yeah it seems that way to me too. I just don't know what to do when she doesn't want to help herself... I am here to listen and she knows that, I just wish there was more I could do for her.
• United States
29 Apr 13
That is very sad. It sounds like he thinks the sun rises and sets just for him and no one else matters. She will one day draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough, hopefully. Or she will just accept that kind of treatment.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Apr 13
It is sad. Yup, that is pretty much how he is! It is ridiculous... I feel sorry for her because she is such a push over and she just keeps taking it. I really hope one day she will wake up and see that she deserves better.
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
29 Apr 13
You don't say how old she is but I'm gathering she is young. This frightens me when you say he is so controlling and jealous even to the point when she is talking to her grandma. This type of personality disorder can end up putting someone in the hospital or worse killing them in a fit of rage. I think she should have a talk with him explaining that she does not want to be someones doormat. If he doesn't change then she needs to leave him when he is at work, if he works. She can't try to leave with him in the house because he will hurt or worse. Good luck to you and her!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Apr 13
She is 27 years old. She is actually more mature than her 30 year old husband. She is just sweet and laid back, she just takes everything from everyone... =( I don't think she will ever leave him sadly, maybe years down the road but not anytime soon that is for sure...
1 person likes this
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
29 Apr 13
What will really be surprising will be if it sunk in enough for her to actually DO something about it or if he somehow doesn't twist it around into something that's HER fault. Usually when a relationship gets to the point you've described there's a certain amount of brainwashing involved. He's probably convinced her that he's the best she can do & that she deserves the kind of treatment she gets.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
30 Apr 13
That is really awful. I hope that she will listen to your advice and get out of that relationship. It's easier to get out of a relationship like that when you know that you have people who are there to support and encourage you. You are exactly right no one deserves to be treated like that.
@emily7339 (1340)
• Malaysia
30 Apr 13
She is fortunate to have a friend like you . Even though she may not see it now but with your help, she may be able to realize her state in the future. She may feel that is the way her husband loves her and there is nothing wrong with it. But it is ridiculous for a man to be jealous and angry when she spend time with her grandma. He is being too unreasonable and possessive. Such is not a healthy relationship . I am worry for her ended up being a victim of abuse relationship .
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
30 Apr 13
Then she needs you the most.You should not stop telling her about what she cannot see and realized. Guide her until she will realized everything.
@Aja103654 (5663)
• Philippines
30 Apr 13
She doesn't like that. Controlling people need to learn that what they are doing is wrong and it should be fixed.
• Singapore
30 Apr 13
Is it possible that she herself does not mind? Sounds extreme but some people may like to be "controlled", they feel there is someone loving and taking care of them. If your friend didn't even see it, it sounds like the situation may not be making her unhappy.
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
30 Apr 13
Women involved in such situations often find them self either afraid or have just lost their self-esteem. Having said that, they feel that their strength is dependent on their man. They feel that it is impossible for them to get out from the relationship because they do not find themselves capable of being a better person outside of that relationship.
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
29 Apr 13
I have been in a controlling relationship and it ain't nice, to experience it first hand, when your partner seems to think it's ok to dictate what you should and shouldn't do, they become manipulative and they treat you like a child, as though you haven't got a mind of your own, or even capable of making decisions. Trouble is she needs to stand up to him right from the start, to show him she cannot be manipulated, otherwise, he will walk all over her and it will become increasingly difficult to challenge him as time goes on.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
29 Apr 13
I know a number of people who are in similar situations usually it;s because they don't want to be alone, the I wont have anything, I wont have a life. I have lost many friends because of those type of attitudes in them, and them staying in situations, or keep going back to it after I take the time and effort to get them out. You are right they wont see it if you sit them down, and keep telling them. They will eventually see it for themselves one day.