Wishing to be a perfect girlfriend.

@Erynn14 (357)
Malaysia
May 13, 2013 4:32am CST
Hey guys, I wanted to know how to be a perfect girlfriend. Well, of course, no one can be perfect. But how to overcome the anger when I get and almost wanted to quarrel? I'm quite annoyed by that. He always wanted to break up with me now. But I don't want to. Because I really really want to become his wife. How? How to become a girlfriend who would not cause trouble. Who would not make her boyfriend to be angry, and felt annoyed by my action? Really, I need help.
1 person likes this
6 responses
• United States
14 May 13
my best advice? (and i have been using this for YEARS now....with boyfriends....and even room mates...) If you get upset about something, sleep on it......don't make a big deal about it until 24 hours later. if it is STILL causing you aggravation after a day then it is time to confront the other party about it. 9 times out of 10 it is an emotional/hormonal response and will have subsided with in a day. if after 24 hours the issue is STILL upsetting you, that is when you sit down and have a RATIONAL conversation......i don't mean yelling and slamming of doors, but a sit down convo where both parties can give their perspectives. personally since i have adopted this idea, (8 or 9 years ago?) i have only had to actually have the "sit down convo" part of this like 2 or 3 times...
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 13
@Erynn14 ... to "sleep on it" means to go to not react right away, go to bed, sleep for the night and re-think about it in the morning when things can often seem much more clear.
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
15 May 13
@fruitcakeliz alright. Well, just quarreled again with him. I need to change my jealousy. Sigh
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
14 May 13
Hmmm. Alright, I will try that out. Thank you! :D any other more? Erm, your sleep on it means? Sorry, my English is not so good.
• Guangzhou, China
14 May 13
Hi Erynn, the first thing you want to do is to talk with your bf to know why he wants to break up with you. I think there must be a serious problems, you need to solve them. When you are anger, you can keep quiet for second minutes to calm yourself down. If you really do something wrong, you should say sorry to him instead of yelling to him. I hope this can help you.
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
14 May 13
Well, when I am angry, I'm the type of person who would say what I felt at the moment to him. It's a non-stop talking. So, I bet, that need to be change as well. I asked him, he said he do not know. Or, just, felt that I am much more annoying now. Most probably cause by me being too depending on him. So, this must be change as well. :)
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
14 May 13
@jocelynleong Alright. Thanks for the advice. I am trying my best to change all that habits of mine now.
• Guangzhou, China
14 May 13
@Erynn14 Men don't like the non-stop talking gf. So you need to change. Also you want to be more independent, you can keep him at an arm's length, maybe he will be more care about you.
@pals101 (2010)
• Philippines
14 May 13
why do he wants to break up? is there any reason behind it?
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
14 May 13
Most probably my annoying attitude? Or, causes by me too dependent on him and some sort of forcing him to study when I heard he is playing games. Quite bad of me.
• Philippines
13 May 13
hmmm.. there's no such thing as a PERFECT girl friend because we are just humans and we are born to be imperfect. I think,you just have to control your temper, my boyfriend is short temper and every time we quarrel I always say that we should break up. Just, always think what we would feel and as much as possible be reasonable for your feelings =)
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
14 May 13
Alright, Im trying my best to control it now.
• China
14 May 13
I very agree with what's @pree2013 said, a relationship become to broke up is not up to one side fault but for both, I think the important thing that now you need to do is change yourself, it seems that some of us would lost ourselves for sometimes when we falling in one relationship, the one of who is more care about the other one would be hurted, so just be yourself and do something that you like to do, I think it will be toward to the good way that we expect to~~
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
14 May 13
@sharonsly alright, so I must change myself a lot. Just change to the one when I'm still single. But the only thing different is that I have a partner instead of being single. But then, I think it is a must to change all my bad habits like @pree2013 did. So, hopefully I can do it. Thanks for the advice!
13 May 13
Hey Erynn, First of all, I want to tell you that this is the first time (online) I am sharing my personal experience and I am giving a relationship advice to someone who I don't know at all! Lol!! But I can understand your situation. Well, I have been in the same situation but mine is worse than yours. My bf recently lost his dad and he is very depressed these days. I am alone in another country and I am depressed too and we had a lot of arguments regarding that and he almost like 2-3 times told me that if you continue behaving like that we might not end up together in the future. He said to me 'Please understand my situation and please cooperate, I don't want to end our relationship and please be with me always.' And now I am feeling very bad I am disappointed in myself and when I think about it how I have behaved with him in these past few days-months, I hate myself sometimes. What I am doing is, spending more time reading books and talking with my friends and basically engaging myself into some work and kept thinking about how much we love each other and I will make him happy and never wanna let him go. These boys are very emotional when they are in true love. And now I don't call him whenever I feel like instead he text me and we speak in the evening every day and I actually am very happy and he is also happy with my behavior. I never thought I would do that for someone because I was used to talking to him for like 2-3 hrs continuously during the night and 30 min-1 hour in the day any time I want to. But now I have realized how much he means to me that I can change my habits for him. Trust me it's not easy but also not Impossible. I hope this helps you and all the best for the future dear. Regards, Pree
@Erynn14 (357)
• Malaysia
14 May 13
Thank you! I do realize now that most probably why we quarrel most of the time is that I am too depend on him and Im so over him that I couldn't stop texting him. Or else I would felt insecure. But now, that habit must be changed, I'm learning to fulfill my everyday with my own things now instead of waiting for him aimlessly. So yea, I had just started to do this habit. I hope I get to remember this habit all the time and don't cause him troubles that makes him feel like want to end our relationship when both of us actually wanted to be each other's future partner for real. That is why, I'm trying my best by now. Trying to do other things when he play his games. When angry, try to be more patient and control my temper. And don't want to start a fight. Like seriously, I hope I would learn to be much more independent by now like how I did before when I haven't met him. Guess, I realize why he fall in love with me before, much probably because of my independent but now I had lose that independent of mine. So I must be much more independent and do my own things sometimes. Make myself busy from over thinking those things and so on. And as well, learning to not force him to study. Guess, I have a lot to change huh? Haha. Need to change my behaviors by now. Anyway, Thank you Pree! You did help me out a lot! :D