MAY THE CHILDREN BE TAUGHT WITHOUT SCOLDING AND BEATING THEM?

Moradabad, India
September 23, 2014 2:40am CST
I have a personal experience that the children do not study if the teachers and parents do not beat or scold them.When I sit to teach children I see that when I explain, they do not heed and keep moving their heads here and there. I know that the children are very playful and fickle minded. They are not able to concentrate on any thing specially books of their course. The modern children generally cram the filmy songs and dialogues of the films. They can enjoy even cartoon films more than their books of course. The reality lies in this that I do not want to beat my children and even scold them but they do not listen to me when I teach them with love. Do you think of any other solution to this problem.
3 people like this
7 responses
• Lagos, Nigeria
23 Sep 14
The fact remains absolute in this context and its crucial to the extreme of its relevance in their upbringing. Now I am not been bias but even the bible says "Spare the rod and spoil the child, and the scholars went on as far to harness the fact that much after scolding them you will still remain their guardian and courtesy demands in most tradition that after scolding, call them back to their right state of mind with corrections and love. in this light one may wonder if not all traditions by this measure, that's true most western believe do not support educating kids with spanking but they will sure need it and it will go a long way in moulding them even though it hurts but that's why you still have to draw them back to yourself.. However in their little age and when growing almost everything seems pleasant but not all thing are good for kids to adapt to. this automatically stipulates that kids should be captured in their your age, whatsoever means the measure you carry out just apply wisdom and caution.. their upbring is at risk if no scolding, no correction, no spanking, and just anything goes.. this will not help their future..
• Moradabad, India
23 Sep 14
To beat the children bitterly is not the remedy for anything.Let us think something seriously about the behaviour of a teacher or parent when teach.I think that instead of beating (I may be wrong ) the children, a little fear should be created. What to speak of children even adults do not want to study the books read by them in the past.I liked your advice if the children are beaten a little, they should be caressed after that so that they should understand that they were beaten for their own welfare. Thanks a lot for a very good and intelligent comment.
@Bluedoll (15287)
• Canada
23 Sep 14
@iamemmanuel Certainly we should never discount the bible it is important to consider but we can quote bible scripture all day long. The bible does say do not spare the rod but I think this scripture does not support the abuse of children. The bible also says an eye for an eye and to kill sheep but that does not mean we should take everything so literally but rather use the bible to seek out the right answers. Please let me make a clear distinction here between controlling an unruly child that is hurting another child that requires physical restraining and spanking children to get our way. I’ll write that again, get our way. When you said no scolding, no correction, no spanking, and just anything goes does imply that children are not being taught properly. In many cases that is the case, I will agree with you on this. The question is however what is the proper way to teach children? Scolding and correction is not the same as physical spanking. Hitting children is a completely different method of teaching and all it does is to tell children and others that it is all right to be violent. Think about it. What we learn as children extends into adulthood and supporting this kind of teaching is also supporting spousal beating and physical assaults when in adult disagreements. I can not agree that spanking will solve a problem but rather create another one. @sunilmishra7756 Sorry but I do not agree with mixed messages. It is like lying. First you hit then you cuddle? Is that not equal to beating a wife and then telling her how sorry you are? It is called abuse. I am not suggesting anyone here is doing this but I am making a comparison because I think it applies to the discussion. We have to understand the results of our teaching. I realize that in most cases parents are not spanking children in excess nor done with pleasure but if we think that the objective of this thread started out to be “how to teach” then can we agree that instilling fear is not teaching at all but establishing guidelines by manipulation?
2 people like this
• Moradabad, India
24 Sep 14
W@Bluedoll Yes, you are right but to some extent. It is wrong to compare child with a respected wife. I think that my wife has just the same rights as I have. I do not agree with you completely.When a baby is born, he is generally thumped by the nurse lightly so that the baby may breathe properly, it does not mean that the nurse is the enemy of baby. The potter can not turn the paste of clay in to a pot without giving light thumps. Thank you very much.
@rukmij (1)
• Pune, India
24 Sep 14
I would like to share my personal experience. I am not a parent yet but I have a younger brother. He is very sharp but but does not pay much attention to the studies. In past I used to scold him and I even slapped him sometimes but off late I realized that this is not going to be the way to make him sit for studies. I then started to get involved with him much more and fixed the hours of studies and play, watching TV, games on computers etc. I used to teach him as well as play with him. And I became his best friend. From this experience I can say that only way to make your children study is to be involved with them, be it studies or be it sports or video games. And as far as the songs are concerned they should be told the difference between mediocrity and excellence. Once they they will understand music is not about mediocrity they themselves will not listen to these songs.
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• Moradabad, India
24 Sep 14
I think that you adopted the best method to improve your brother. But some children do not understand this language of love so in the beginning they may be frightened by showing rod or by scolding. I give my children my personal example, I myself study so much that I have no need to say anything to them. I think that whatever we teach our children to do, we must set our own example before them. I f we want that our children shouldspeak the truth, we should speak truth first. You will be surprised to hear that I never insisted my children to study yet they were very much studious. Instead of Iit I insisted them to sleep before twelve at night. ONE WHO CAN CONTROL ONESELF CAN CONTROL ANYBODY IN THE WORLD. BUT NOBODY THINKS ABOUT THIS. Today, the children do not like to hear the preachings and a bundle of instru ctions but a solid example before their eyes. Thanks a lot for a very good comment.
@Bluedoll (15287)
• Canada
24 Sep 14
Look, I want to make something clear in this thread. Something I think we can all agree on is that parents are human beings. Parent’s mess up, parents make mistakes, parents get frustrated and parents sometimes hit their children. It is human and it is forgivable. On the other hand children push their limits. In normal growth children test authority and experiment to see what they can get away with. They develop bad habits and they do need correction. I am not questioning and trying to use words that do not questions anyone’s parenting methods. That is none of my business. What is my business however is finding the truth. I will not be persuaded beatings are good and I will stand my ground on that subject. Hitting, beating and scaring the hell out of children with the threat of a physical response is not the best option. Yes, it does happen. Yes, it is forgivable. And yes, it sometimes seems like the only solution but is it never the best solution for teaching children. It is merely a human response to frustrating situations.
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• Moradabad, India
24 Sep 14
@Bluedoll Yes, you are right to some extent. There are many books in my religion too but what I write, I write independently without mentioning any holy book because I have great respect for every religious book of the world. I also know and other parents also know their limits of giving physical punishments to the children but sometimes in excitement the children may be beaten more than the set limits.The punishment does not mean to hurt a child but to explain to them that this habit is not good and should not be repeated in future because it is very bad for them too for their future.So by showing red eyes or wide eyes we can control children easily. Our aim is to make the future of our children bright not to hurt them. WE CAN PUNISH THE CHILDREN AS WE PUNISH OUR TEETH WHEN THEY BITE OUR TONGUE WHILE EATING FOOD.
@topffer (27799)
• France
24 Sep 14
Some parents are perhaps too permissive today, making difficult the work of teachers, but I think that beating a child is not a solution to make him learn something. I have never be beaten by my parents (often scolded, yes ), but I got a few raps of rulers on my fingers by an old teacher when I was a child. I don't remember anything else from this guy, who was the worst teacher I got : if he had been able to make his lessons interesting, he would not have needed rulers and dunce's caps... Today a teacher beating children here would be fired, and some have been sent to criminal courts for slaps. Even if it was possible, I don't think that one can teach validly something by using violence. Terrorizing children to make them learn something would probably divert them later to increase their knowledge in subjects that they learned like this. If lessons are interesting enough for children, if they realize that they are useful, they will listen to them. Well, it is not an easy task, because we don't always realize that something will be useful later. I am a good living example : I neglected trigonometry in high school, and I had to learn it again by myself later . Don't ask me why I had to learn trigonometry again after a PhD in laws .
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• Moradabad, India
24 Sep 14
Thanks a lot for an intelligent comment.Do you teach your children yourself or they are taught by the tutors only ?. As you have told me about a rude teacher, but every teacher was not of that kind.At the time of the appointment of a teacher, his behaviour should be checked.As you have written that you were not interested in trigonometry but you had to learn when you were aged.You also could learn it in your student life easily. You are talking of your time but the times are changing fast, the children are living in high tech era. They are losing the sense of respect towards the teachers. In your time the students took a lot of interest in studies and respected their teachers but now the students come in to the class with multimedia mobile phone sets, if a student operates a mobile phone while teaching, what should a teacher do? It needs two hands to clap. One can not see one's own fault. I think that nobody is milk white. Perhaps there is nobody who is not open to error. The teachers also come out from the same colleges in which they are teaching now. They are also the product of same society. If teachers are respected, they will repay it.The children are also more mischievous than before.Both the sides of a coin are equally important and the parents are also responsible who put full burden of the children on the shoulders of teachers.If we all together go to brighten the future of the children, everything can be changed.
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@topffer (27799)
• France
25 Sep 14
@sunilmishra7756 I have only had one rude teacher, and he was from another century . I have only a daughter and her mother is a teacher. My daughter waited to be 22 years old to disobey to her parents (she is 24 and independent now) She is from the mobile phone/internet generation (I had my first internet connection in 1995 when she was 5), and I never had to beat her to go to school (she has a master of arts) or for anything else. She was not an angel, but raising the voice was enough. Most of my friends' children are like her, a few have had terrible little monsters, so I know I am lucky . Mobile phones are a real problem today. They are forbidden not only in classrooms, but also in movie theaters, concert halls... and one of my favorite restaurants has a mobile phone jammer since a few months : it should be more widespread !
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• Moradabad, India
25 Sep 14
@topffer I think that you are lucky enough because you have got an obedient daughter and a good wife but everybody is not lucky. Generally the girsls are simple by nature but the boys are mischievous by nature from their childhood. I very well know the habits of the male students. They threaten their teachers and do not want to listen the preachings of parents. I have a great experience about the male students. They are getting indisciplined more and more day by day. They also know very well about this law that they can not be beaten by the parents and the teachers. If the students do not have the sense of respect for their teachers, they can not be taught. It is going to be a big problem even for the society. Unity and discipline are the souls of any nation. If we make a lion of a man, he will eat us first. Thank you very much for a good comment.
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@Bluedoll (15287)
• Canada
23 Sep 14
I think beatings are wrong. They bring with them abusive learning that then gets passed on to their children. The only exception is physical intervention is if a child is already using physical abusiveness or is in immediate danger. I see adults suffering from the same problems you described in church and meetings. The problem I've been told falls to the deliverer of the teaching not the student. It is not the member who falls asleep who is at fault but the boring sermon. - LOL A solution is to change teaching methods which might be sad because I think there is much value in traditional methods which are being lost all over the world for reasons such as you gave in your post. Modern teaching in schools I have noticed has changed radically. There is lots of information on this I'm sure but I am also interested in any comment you might wish to give here.
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• Moradabad, India
23 Sep 14
It is not confirmed who is responsible if the children are not paying their full attention to their studies. The teachers, private tuition, mother, father, neighbour, company of the children, circumstances, divorce of parents, malnutrition, computers and mobile phones or T.V. programmes or cinema. The children may not be separated from the new and interesting inventions.But one thing is sure that the children are getting spoiled and they do not respect elders as they used to respect. As you have told that beating and scolding is not the solution then I would like to know some other solution. Thanks a lot for a good advice but not completely effective.
@Bluedoll (15287)
• Canada
23 Sep 14
@sunilmishra7756 That is not what I meant. I meant that the teacher is responsible for the lesson. If it is boring or uninteresting it is the responsibility of the teacher to make the lesson better is what I meant.
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• Moradabad, India
24 Sep 14
@Bluedoll yes, you are right but every teacher is not able to make chapter interesting. If the lesson is already very much boring what can a teacher do? This is responsibility of a teacher to complete the course, if he keeps making the lessons interesting his course will never be complete.Would you like to give a piece of advice in such cases.I think that those persons are also responsible who set boring lessons for the children. So much so that even some teachers can not understand the depth of some poems which are in course. The children are compelled to read such course while yawning. Thanks a lot for your wise comment.
• Hyderabad, India
23 Sep 14
i think no parent scolds or beat their children for fun or for personal pleasure. What i mean as a well wisher of our children, teach them in the manner which suits for them. each child has got their own concentration and grasping level, as elders we have to adapt a method which best suits them. after all what is paramount is their prosperity and well being. one should not predetermine a yard stick and go by that. use any method within limitation. even using the harshest method occasionally is no matter if it is for the prosperity of the child. (i really do not mean that one should beat children, but it does some thing good for them let us not hesitate)
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• Moradabad, India
23 Sep 14
We are talking about the teaching method for our children but most of the people never take any interest in teaching their own children.They send their children for private tuition and enjoy a carefree sleep. I think that it is completely a wrong thing. What we can teach, none can teach because a mother and a father are equal to hundred schools but we escape from our real responsibility that should be our first preference. The parents earn only to make the future of the children bright not dull. I will call this as the negligence of our main duty. We should not forget if we shut our eyes from reality, the reality will not disappear. You are right to some extent that we may beat our children but limited just to set their future right and bright. Thanks a lot for a considerable comment.
@Bluedoll (15287)
• Canada
23 Sep 14
Certainly hurting is not an acceptable teaching nor doing anyone any good. The reward and denial system is better by far. If someone is breaking rules you deny them something (a toy - rewards). If they are doing what is expected of them, rewards will support that activity.
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• Shanghai, China
26 Sep 14
I am nineteen years old now,what made me feel impressed is my dad's beating. it is so impressed that maybe i will never forget it. beating and scolding never be a useful way to solve some problems, children is too young, they can't judge the thing happened,i think what the parents should do is to make their baby have right values, tell them what is the right thing and what is wrong.
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• Moradabad, India
26 Sep 14
Yes, you are right but we should try to understand the aim of parents to beat their children, they never beat amateur but the beat the children under compulsion. The duty of the parents is not to give home, clothes and bread to the children but to correct their bad habits so that their future may be bright. It is not bad to push a man to save his life if suddenly an uncontrolled truck is coming from opposite side otherwise it may crush the man. In the same way the light beating can be given to the children for their good. Thank you very much.
@Bluedoll (15287)
• Canada
24 Sep 14
There might be a problem. When the children are very young they respond easily but as they continue to grow it changes and parents will find out that hitting does not work like it used to. Whatever it is that parents do, let it be a way that works because what will happen when the child gets larger and stronger? We can talk about how fine the older generation was but looking back has been the way of the world since its beginning. Let us do an honest accounting of the past. Two world wars, terrible violence and shameful morals. Should we look at children and tell them they are already not in line with our superior standards? I am wondering where we get all our statistics. Certainly we can look at the faults of an upcoming generation and consider them to be more mischievous. We can worry but the younger children have nothing but potentiality. I think there will be problems with education for young people in the world but I also can see some possibility. Many children are much farther ahead in studies than the previous the generation while there has been a shift in skills. (using computers for example versus writing by hand) As far as disipline is concerned, I don’t think the mentality of my parents did that to me so I will do it to my children is justification for an action.
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• Moradabad, India
25 Sep 14
Too much of everything is bad.The parents are not the enemies of their children but the best friends and I think that parents are the greatest well wishers of their children. You must have watched on T.V. that a student of America started shooting in the school and killed many students.The students do not know well what is good and what is bad to them really. Therefore it is the duty of parents to bring them to the right path otherwise their lives may be spoiled. As you have written what will happen when they become stronger and taller. I think that when kids grow up and physically taller and stronger. Their minds and understanding power will also grow and our kids will praise us and respect us more than before because if the parents had not brought them to the right path they could be spoiled and become criminal. There is certainly a little difference of opinions between parents and kids and it is natural and spontaneous. Everybody is naughty in his childhood and parents enjoy the naughtiness and playfulness of the children.I love the children so much that I want to spend my life among the children because they are playful and innocent. Today we are working hard for them and tomorrow when we grow old they will hold our hands and serve us as parents did in their childhood.It is our duty as a parents anyhow to brighten their future. Not only the future of parents depend upon their children but the children are future of a nation too and greatest property.
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