I dont need this drama!
August 5, 2015 4:04pm CST
I was dating this guy on and off for the last year or so. Mind you the bulk of this time, we were talking but he would back out of plans. So I didn't really classify it as dating, considering his behaviour. The times we did go out, he was always nervous, and shy. Would barely talk, and i"m sure could of shat his pants lol to say the least. I'd ask him to do something after a handful of times going out, he would always be busy, or working, etc. I sort of shrugged it off, and ignored him. He'd come crawling back, then he'd start ignoring me. I don't need this sort of drama. A few times even before we had official went out. His best friend and him showed up at my work didn't say anything just his friend came in smirking away. His friend really irritates me, they did this a few times. Whenever he was with him, he might as well crawl on the floor. He'd be red, and just hiding basically. A few months back this guys ex started threatening me, she said a few things to my cousin. I ignored it the first few times, but after that that was it. I'm sorry if he cant say anything to her. Now if my ex said something I'd tell him off, and kick him to the curb especially interfering in my relationships. He deleted her off facebook, she readded him, then he readded her. I nicely brought up his ex, I didnt rip his face off just casual mentioned it, and her threatening to kick my butt. He then ignores me for a week, so I assume he either still has feelings for her or they are trying to get back together. I'm like history I'm done. I showed up at his work, it was simple to see his reaction. He runs from everything, any form of confrontation. He was all nervous, and going red the entire time avoid talking about anything, he'd try and change the subject. He had deleted me off facebook, so I assumed this was him saying its done. A few days later he readds me to facebook. So I add him but block everything from him. He didn't talk to me in about a month. He then deletes me off facebook yet again, I send him a text and was like wow thanks least you could do was tell me to get lost not ignore me or something like that. What really made me pack up and leave was his comment when i showed up at his work. One being if I ignore you, you chase me and the other is I have loads of girls chasing after me knocking on my door. I havent talk to him since, I am not bothering with the drama. I am not going to chase after him for his own insecureties, and self esteem. I doubt he has a pile of girls chasing after him or else he wouldnt be sitting on a dating site all the time (which my cousin found him on). As my cousin found him on this site she is part of, she has been messaging him bugging him. He sent a message back to her saying I am too attached. I just can't figure out why he acts like this, I actually feel bad for him.
• Hibbing, Minnesota
5 Aug 15
Sounds like way more drama then I would be willing to put up with personally. He obviously is or thinks he's some kind of player. Or as you said he's not over his ex which can also be very problematic and in either case if i were in your shoes I would distance myself for your own sanity. As far as going to eachothers place of work I personally would avoid that kind of behavior all together as I'm sure neither one of you want drama at your place of employment or to risk your jobs. And just remember, there are tons of fish in the sea so there is no reason for you to wait around hoping he will eventually come to his senses. If your willing to invest the time in him he should at least have the decency to show you the same courtesy or tell you he isn't interested so you can move on with your life.
• Toronto, Ontario
5 Aug 15
I completely agree. I find it rather annoying, I would never show up at someone work. I find this ridiculous, even friends who say come by I feel weird. He has done it a handful of times. I waited until he was done work to show up, not stroll in. Thats what I had said to a friend, what he says sounds like a duche, who's some kind of player. But his actions are the opposite. My friend was coming by my work the one day, and made the comment how he's insecure, and low self esteem. I got this impression too but never said anything. I had said before I am not fighting his ex over him (maybe this is what he wants for the attention). No guy is worth fighting over, and lower your self to that. He just keeps coming back acting like nothing has happened. I have been ignoring him, I just curious as what others see it or his behaviour more.
• Hibbing, Minnesota
5 Aug 15
@ricki_911 to me his behavior seems very childish. Maybe he is insecure and has low self esteem that still does not give him the right to lead people on or wait for them to chase him or whatever. On the other hand he could be acting that shy or insecure because he does really like you and doesn't know what to say or do. Either way though that doesn't give him the right to treat you the way he has or to be going behind your back and getting on dating sites if he truly thinks in his own twisted way that your still together. I would personally probably just straight up tell him how you feel and that your done playing his games and then I'd leave it at that. If he's someone you really want to be with lay it out to him and leave it at that he'll either straighten up or he wont. I personally wouldn't worry yourself over this too much I'd just get myself out of this situation and ignore him.