Relationships and money

@Porcospino (16428)
Denmark
September 1, 2015 10:30am CST
Many years ago I had a boyfriend from South Africa. He was living in Denmark when we met, and we were together for 3 years. Right from the start we had many arguments about money. I always make sure that I have enough money for the entire month. I am afraid of running out of money before I receive my next salary, so I don't spend a lot. My ex-boyfriend was extremely different. When he got paid he went out for dinner every day and he bought a lot of expensive things. After one week his money was gone, and the last 3 weeks of the month he borrowed money from his friends. He was very outgoing and he had many friends, but he didn't pay them back and they started to disappear. He had a higher salery than me, but I usually had to pay for both of us because he had already spent his own money. I was very tired of that, and our different lifestyles lead to many arguments. After him I had two other boyfriends, and we didn't have the same problems. My husband and don't have many arguments about money either. Do you and your partner disagree about money?
5 people like this
5 responses
@thesids (22367)
• Bhubaneswar, India
1 Sep 15
I believe men are more spendthrifts. I too could never save money. Somehow two things I have never been able to understand - colors and saving money. When I was healthy and earning I spend more on my food, my hobbies and ended up saving almost nothing. But yes, I would always ensure to cut down expenses if I was low on money. Ever since I married, I ensured to hand over my cheques to my wife as I trust her more when it comes to wise spending of it. Somehow, women have more sense of all these things (my experience). We do clash and disagree on many many things why only money. With respect to money, we mostly disagree on - she manages to live in the barest minumum and I keep telling her that what for you earn money if you do not make use some of it to make your life comfortable at least, if not luxurious. A very recent example: Sometime in Feb,2015, she had some backaches and was unable to wash clothes (we used to handwash), I suggested buying a washing machine. We had lots of arguments on that and finally the purchase idea was cancelled. We eventually got one in July. Now, my point is - eventually we did buy, so why not earlier before things start getting complicated. We had to shell out about 50 USD extra due to the delay.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (16428)
• Denmark
1 Sep 15
Many of the men that I have met have been spendthrists My husband and I do the same as you and your wife. My husband gives me his salary and I handle the financial things. My husband is not good with money, and if I didn't handle the financial things we would be in trouble Your story about the washing machine made me smile a little because I think that I would have reacted like your wife when you suggested it. On the other hand you could have saved money if you had bought the washing mashine right away.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22367)
• Bhubaneswar, India
2 Sep 15
@Porcospino Sounds like a common issue around the planet
@dodo19 (31373)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
3 Sep 15
My husband and I don't disagree too much about money. We're both pretty careful with our money, and try not to overspend, or anything like that. We may occasionally disagree but it doesn't happen too often and we can easily compromise.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (16428)
• Denmark
3 Sep 15
It is nice that you have similar money habits. It can lead a lot of problems if a couple has very different habits. I remember that from the time that my ex-boyfriend and I were together.
@katsmeow1213 (29020)
• United States
1 Sep 15
My husband is a lot like your ex boyfriend. He wants to have expensive things and buy a lot of stuff... but I would rather save, get the bills paid, and live within our means. Usually when we have different plans for the money, we can talk each other in or out of our ideas. Sometimes he can talk me into spending our money, sometimes I can talk him into saving the money. Lately we've both been a lot better about saving and getting the bills paid on time.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (16428)
• Denmark
3 Sep 15
I think that we agree about this topic. I also prefer to save and get the bills paid. Sometimes my husband and I disagree, but we are usually able to find a compromise that we can both accept.
@1wldngl (3991)
• United States
1 Sep 15
My fiancee grew up with very little yet his mother had a "throw away" mentality. "Throw it away and get another", or get stuff you don't need just to have it. We struggled a bit until he could see how much I saved and have helped him obtain things he truly does need. He now invests and has a savings account. He told my brother if it wasn't for me he wouldn't have anything like he does today. Your ex would have put me over the edge. I can't handle that at all. I don't like debt and I pay my bills first, then food, then fun.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (16428)
• Denmark
1 Sep 15
It is great that your fiance has become able to save money It is a good habit to save money, it gives you the chance to save up for something that you really want, and if you get unexpected bills it is also nice to have some savings. Like you I pay my bills first and then I spend money on other things.
1 person likes this
@nonersays (2688)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I would have gotten tired of that ex pretty fast! My husband and I often disagree on money issues, but I give him credit in that he does pay the bills before he spends on "fun" things. Our disagreements come because he only spends the "fun" money on himself and I never get a share of it. I literally have to BEG him for cash if I need some.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (16428)
• Denmark
1 Sep 15
It is a good thing that he pays the bills first, but I don't think that it is nice of him to spend the fun money on himself. I once had a boyfriend who was like that. My husband and I share everything we have.