Speaking of Socializing

@Raelove (17745)
Saco, Maine
September 15, 2015 9:35am CST
There's an interesting discussion going on right now here about how good we are at socializing, and it reminded me of my experience while traveling to Canada 2 years ago with a woman whom I thought was my friend. She treated me to an all-expenses-paid trip to Nova Scotia, where she had a big summer place she was selling. Of course, once I got there, I found it to be quite different from how it had been described to me. But Nova Scotia is so breathtakingly beautiful that I was able to put my biases aside and just enjoy the scenery. We were there nearly 3 weeks, and it would have been a great experience had it not for the fact that she also had plans to reconnect with all the summer locals she hadn't seen in awhile. All I'll say about that is that I had about as much in common with these people as I would have the British royalty, so right there, I was very ill at ease. The worst thing, though, was the constant put-downs from my so-called friend in front of these people, and her constant undermining of just about everything I said. I felt so alone and so trapped, but what could I do? I had no money, I was miles from home, and I wasn't doing the driving! At one point, I woke up in the middle of the night with the thought of hitchhiking to the ferry and getting back the best way I could. But I didn't. I toughed it out, counting the days off in my head, and even pulling a Jerry Seinfeld by not counting the day I was actually on or the day we were leaving. That made it seem more bearable. I took dozens of photos of Nova Scotia and would go there again in a heartbeat, but never again with THAT woman. We've lost touch with each other since then, and it's just as well. Because now I know her for who she is. I'm usually a pretty good judge of character, but I never saw this coming. And I no longer waste time trying to figure it out. Now, I am very careful who I choose to associate with and tend to stick with people I've known for a long time and who are known entities. Life's too short to spend it miserably with people you just don't click with.
4 people like this
4 responses
@Jessicalynnt (47879)
• Centralia, Missouri
15 Sep 15
That would stink, and I am glad you were able to find some things to enjoy out of the whole thing. It's hard to be dependent on someone for transportation, and I am kind of picky on that, I want to be able to leave places when I want at any time.
1 person likes this
@Raelove (17745)
• Saco, Maine
15 Sep 15
That's how I usually am, too, Jessa. But to me, it was the opportunity of a lifetime. I wondered after if my 'friend' didn't just take advantage of the situation to belittle me, knowing I had no recourse. In the future, I won't be hooking up like that unless I have an out, or I am at least sure of who I'm traveling with.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
15 Sep 15
@Raelove Oh, I would have prob gone too, I mean free vacation right? but that kind of thing is why I fear such things as well.
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@Raelove (17745)
• Saco, Maine
15 Sep 15
@Jessicalynnt Yup. I shudder to think of what it would have been like had the place not been as beautiful. We were right on the Bay of Fundy, and I couldn't take my eyes off it. Now, in retrospect, I know I should have just politely bowed out of the "tea parties," and other social gatherings, where I simply did not fit in. Live and learn!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Sep 15
Oh wow! That sounds quite messed up. I guess it was nice that she gave you an all expense paid vacation, but it sounds like she was using you more than anything. That is just so wrong, on so many levels.
1 person likes this
@Raelove (17745)
• Saco, Maine
15 Sep 15
Yes, that's what another friend told me recently. Sounds like she just used you to have someone to take long so she wouldn't be alone. I wouldn't be as quick to just "dive in" now as I was then.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Sep 15
@Raelove Yes, it sounded like she needed a companion/company to get from point A to point B, once she was there and had the others to keep her company she no longer needed you. Which is below pathetic in my opinion. Oh no doubt you learned a lesson, which is good, but you shouldn't had the lesson to learn to begin with if they were a true friend.
@sueznewz2 (10156)
• Alicante, Spain
15 Sep 15
What a shame.... that sort of thing would definitely leave you very wary of who you mix with, I'm glad you enjoyed the country if not the company,
1 person likes this
@Raelove (17745)
• Saco, Maine
15 Sep 15
Yes, thank God for the scenery. It was my one solace, and I really did hate to leave it, but not sorry to leave the bad experience behind.
• United States
15 Sep 15
Oh dear. I feel for you in that sort of situation. It must have been truly awful for you to think of hitching. I associate with no one haha. Have had enough experience with that. I am so happy now.