You Do Not Eat the Grapes of Rath

@Ceerios (4756)
Goodfellow, Texas
September 15, 2015 12:23pm CST
Tried to buy one pound of red grapes at the supper market. I told the manager what I was going to do with the things - eat 'em up for my supper. He told me to "wait a minute" so that he could check that out in "the manual" Out came the little book. (I looked over his shoulder as he thumbed his way through the manual...) First thing I noticed was that he went to the section headed with a "G" (probably for "grapes," right? Betcha that's what it was - "G" for "grapes." Wouldn't you know it? That "G" section was further divided into sub-sections. Finally, the manager thumbed his way through to the "R" part. There it was. "R" - and he kept on going there until he got to "RA" and, finally, to "RATH." Here was the entry he read off to me and then he rang on a little bell ringing thing, calling a store helper boy to come and do a chore for the manager. He handed the kid the little sack - one pound of nice red grapes that I was aiming to eat for my supper. (After all, this was a SUPPER MARKET, was it not?) "Put this pound of nice red grapes back on their grape counter," said the manager to the kid. Then the manager turned to me and explained the rule in his store (according to the "G," the "R" and the "RATH" entries in the rule book.) It went kinda like this: "RATH brand red grapes are not to be eaten for supper. They are to be saved up until there is a sufficient quantity of them to fit into a stomping vat, then trampled on by clean feet, the juice extracted and made into vinegar for the cleaning of kitchen countertops." I saved $1.29 by not being allowed to buy that one pound of nice red grapes of Rath for my supper, so I thanked the manager for having kept me from making such a mistake. To this day, too, my bride's kitchen counters are cruddy, greasy, and badly in need of cleaning. I spent the buck-twenty-nine on Cheerios. I like those a lot, too. So much do I like Cheerios that I picked them as my username here on "MYLOT." Shucks. I spelled Cheerios wrong. As I explain it, "I got the "H" out of Cheerios." Can't win 'em all, right? Gus Image source - MorgueFile photo by PippaLou
5 people like this
3 responses
@jaboUK (54057)
• United Kingdom
15 Sep 15
@ceerios Well it's not a very apt name for you - it sounds like serious, which you aren't. Not often anyway. . Dem grapes of rath were very cheap - they'd cost you a lot more over here - lol.
3 people like this
@Ceerios (4756)
• Goodfellow, Texas
15 Sep 15
Fighter Bomber - When have you ever witnessed me being less than cerious? The world awaits your studied answer.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54057)
• United Kingdom
15 Sep 15
@Ceerios Well, I'll have to think about that then
• Preston, England
23 Sep 15
The grapes should have been more carefully labelled to spare you such confusion - I wouldn't have known either.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13421)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
15 Sep 15
Haha. An interesting "supper market" I have of course only heard of a super market. I think grapes could be healthy for dinner, but @Ceerios , a bowl of Cheerios, could suffice too, right? ;)
1 person likes this
@Ceerios (4756)
• Goodfellow, Texas
15 Sep 15
Nice to see you hangin' around this place, and next time I will go the the "midday meal market (MMM - for tastes good !)
1 person likes this