September 16, 2015 7:49am CST
Long story short, the last year of my life has been very stressful from a financial point of view. Last year, I lost a very good-paying writing job, and have never recovered from that. For months, I struggled to replace that income, all the while struggling to pay the rent, keep my car on the road, and put food in the cupboard. As I've gotten older, certain health issues have arisen that also give me pause. My son lives 2,000 miles from here, and I haven't seen him in 8 years. So all of the above thrown together meant some pretty anxious and worrisome days for me. I tried hard to not let things get me down. But I found myself spending more and more time in bed in the morning, eating too much, and obsessing about everything. When I woke up early one morning thinking that the only thing that would end my misery would be to die, that's when I knew I needed more help. I didn't feel suicidal, because that is too horrific a thought to me. But just thinking that death would be a solution was enough to push me into doing something about my problem. I talked to my doctor about it and she recommended counseling and an anti-anxiety medication in the hopes that this would at least take the edge off some of it. I'd never taken anything like that before, so I had to start gradually by taking half the dose and then increasing to the full amount. I kept close tabs on how it made me feel and on any other side effects, and then made the decision to stick with half the dosage, as the full dosage left me in a stupor most of the day and did other things to my digestive system. The one thing I can say that it did for me is that I didn't worry nearly as much. That gave me a clearer space to make some decisions and to reach certain conclusions that had seemed impossible to make before. I miss my son, but not being able to afford to go out there to see him, I had to make peace with that. It was his decision to move away, so it's up to him to make the effort to come back from time to time to see all the people he left behind. And in the last few weeks, a couple of opportunities have arisen that will enable me to earn a little more money. I'm not saying the meds did this. But they did free up some space in my tired overworked brain up to allow other things in. I'm not sorry I chose to take them and would encourage anyone else who feels they're at the end of their rope to consider it.
3 people like this
• Moses Lake, Washington
8 Oct 15
I tried little doses of anti anxiety meds as a way to deal with Fibro. I continued to feel the pain plus I could hardly walk around let alone drive my hubby to work. Now I take an ibuprofen or deal with pain best I can.
• Boston, Massachusetts
16 Sep 15
I am always afraid to lose any of my anxiety. I don't want to feel better about things I don't like. I feel like my anxiety and worry gives me an edge, and I am afraid to lose my edge. I guess I have anxiety about not losing my anxiety. I am probably a candidate for medication, but I know I won't take it. I am also really stubborn.
• Saco, Maine
16 Sep 15
I still don't feel better about things I don't like. I just am better realizing what can or cannot be done about them. I was feeling anxious 100% of the time while I was awake. I was losing my desire to see people, go out, interact. I'm an introvert. But there has to be a balance. And I was sinking into a pit. I'm 65, so I am not berating myself for needing help. I don't plan on being on this forever, but it sure is nice to feel somewhat good some of the time now. I'd forgotten what that felt like!