Have you ever been a spare friend?

@Salamnda (476)
United Kingdom
September 29, 2015 3:07pm CST
Have you ever been a spare friend? yes a spare friend its like the spare tire it won't be needed till one of the originals go down or blow then you use it till you repair that one then you hide the spare cos you may need it again some other time. Being a spare friend doesn’t feel like the tire cos it has no feeling about what happening and if it dose. Then will prefer to rest and work part times but humans? I had this feeling when I was a spare for some. Yes better than nothing spare helps and fill the space. Other was the plan for them but when he changed his plan I came in and they all came as it’s the plan You feel like you shouldn't accept it but you didn’t know it at first You just got the lesson and knew who is who! It’s strange how humans can think this way. What would you do? I didn’t keep it inside I told them and I did it my way. tried to pretend but they couldn’t cos it was clear It’s not a good feeling to feel like a spare friend and you are not needed till one of the friends is absent or busy and maybe away some where It’s not a true friendship any way Each one of us acts with his behavior and originality. Spare friend. ? ! Don't you ever be! Experiences ...
5 people like this
9 responses
@ria1606roy (2818)
• Kolkata, India
30 Sep 15
Yeah people have used me time and again, and I'm kind of used to that. Sorry you feel like that too. While we are all adults here, everyone has their own life, so when we need a friend we call them then, even though we haven't talked in quite a while. That's okay. But what really got me for the last few weeks, this girl whom I thought was my friend had stopped talking all of a sudden, gossiped all the worse things about me, then months later, started talking as if nothing happened and we're the same good mates again. Maybe because she was feeling lonely as she had starting doing the same for everyone around her. These kinds of people you should avoid, as I'm avoiding now.
1 person likes this
@Salamnda (476)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 15
sometimes i feel like ,,, its ok , i will be your friend if you need me , while i know that you are not a friend but you are someone who needs help , and i might be the one who can help you, then its ok for me to help you ...
1 person likes this
• Kolkata, India
30 Sep 15
@Salamnda exactly, that is acceptable. Because in life, we don't have time for everyone we know. We have to expect the same thing we do, that is, not being able to talk and share with each of our friends.
1 person likes this
@Salamnda (476)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 15
@ria1606roy i have a friend, that i can call friend, cos when ever we need each other , we find we may not meet for months or even talk , but when i need him or he needs me ,in any thing , help , money , talk , any thing we directly ask it and have it if we can thats one good friend
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
30 Sep 15
I think it is not humanly possible to be good friend to everybody at all times. Yesterday this friend called me up and it was pretty late. I am not sure why she did. We are in touch but once in a year or twice in a year. Her calling me up at that hour has me thinking whether she needed help, monetary help. Or was she in need to unload some problem. But she did not come out, and I am left in odd situation. Should I offer, and would that seem insulting. Am I the spare friend, no, I don't think so. But why did she call that late? That is eating me right now.
1 person likes this
@Salamnda (476)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 15
she may be felt that she need someone to talk to and tried to talk to you , but then changed her mind and did not start the conversation she wanted, might it be enough for her to just say hello and feel that you did not block her
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
30 Sep 15
@Salamnda ..I wish I could be sure. She has two daughters and a sick father in law, and a diabetic husband.
@softbabe44 (5899)
• Vancouver, Washington
29 Sep 15
i always worry about about others think or standing by waiting for someone to need you or not
1 person likes this
@Salamnda (476)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 15
sometimes i feel that i need someone to need me to help , if i can , that makes you feel good to
• Vancouver, Washington
30 Sep 15
@Salamnda yes your right i would want to be needed
@cahaya1983 (10039)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 15
I'm lucky I've never been treated that way but I know people who are. It's sad that some people take advantage of a friend when it suits their interest. It's nothing but selfishness.
1 person likes this
@Salamnda (476)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 15
yes it is ,,, glad you did not live that
1 person likes this
@joylol (148)
• Austin, Texas
30 Sep 15
I know that feeling very well. That's how I discovered what was good about the white crayon. It's rarely manipulated by others. Knowing that little piece of knowledge makes me stand out from others who think of it as just useless. I also discovered to not treat people that way since its how I feel. The more you understand how a situation feels, the more you don't want others to feel that specific feeling. Guess thats just a matter of integrity and wisdom,huh.
1 person likes this
@Salamnda (476)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 15
thats for sure , to treat others the way you want them to treat you . respect
@skysnap (17962)
29 Sep 15
I had some people use me as spare friend. so I know that feeling. I think i can't avoid it because most of the time being in the wrong place and time this was about to happen. I learned to deal with it. instead I made myself stronger without people and that is workig out just fine.
1 person likes this
@Salamnda (476)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 15
yes , each experience makes you stronger , when you understand more and see things more clear ,
• United States
30 Sep 15
i steer clear 'f folks like that. i choose to not be thought'f 't all versus bein' 'n after-thought. nice analogy though - that comparison 'twixt bein' a spare tire.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Sep 15
People aren't nice - you have to be aware of that.
1 person likes this
@else34 (13604)
• New Delhi, India
30 Sep 15
@Salamnda,Till a few days back I had been a 'spare relative' in stead of a spare friend.One of my relatives who loves living a luxurious life would spend all his income in fulfilling his desires and then begin requesting me to lend him the amount he needed.I kept on obliging him as long as it was possible for me,but thereafter I refused to lend him even a single cent until he repays all he had borrowed from me.The next moment he became my enemy and now we are not in talking terms.
@Salamnda (476)
• United Kingdom
30 Sep 15
yes this is the typical , action from people acting this way , may be he would be your enemy since the first time when you refuse to give him, i wonder what one should do in this cases, should we just stop it from the first time? and accept that if we give , we help them be the way they are ?