Would you let financies ruin your relationship?

@ricki_911 (20070)
Toronto, Ontario
October 9, 2015 8:19pm CST
I was talking to a friend and she just doesn't see the issue. Now I am more one to save and I do spend but my bills are paid. She spends, spends, and spends whereas it causes a lot of issues between her husband and her (mind you they have only been together 3 years). I can't see why you can't just sit down, and budget. I do spend a little more sometimes but make it up elsewhere. I cut back on a few things, to spend in other area. She doesn't see the issue, and bought $900 tickets to a theatre show, and then $600 for tickets for something else. Yet, both are to blame just spending and then fighting over it.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@sharon6345 (146927)
• United States
10 Oct 15
it would not be my place to be in thier affairs with money. As long as it was not to the point I had to support her it's fine. I strongly think when you make your own money it's no ones business how you spend it. her mate and her might not see eye to eye on it but,it's ok. like me i budget at least twice a month and my bills are all paid on time. My man won't budget at all and at times he is cut off on something or another. it would bother me none at all. For those reasons we shall not live together.
@ricki_911 (20070)
• Toronto, Ontario
10 Oct 15
It is getting to the point of her being unhappy. But also everytime we do something even go for a drive she complains about this. Today was a 3 hour day of her bringing this up. I really dont have an opinion or comment for her. I can sit down and say I have x amount, and if I overspend this month I take elsewhere. I can see if they dont fix it the marriage will beover they are already in counciling. I do think neither want to change which shows their decision.
@yukimori (9097)
• United States
10 Oct 15
If she were my friend, I think I'd tell her that there's nothing I can do to help the problem. It doesn't sounds like the financial issues are being addressed in therapy, but that's not your problem to deal with either. I'd limit my involvement to suggesting that she pick up a copy of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover from the library or possibly attend his Financial Peace University, since it's something she could probably benefit from. Buying the You Need a Budget software might help them out, too. Aside from that, there really isn't a lot that you can do. She's going to have to want to change her habits and actively work toward doing that.
@katsmeow1213 (29044)
• United States
10 Oct 15
Money causes big issues in relationships. We've been on a big push lately to try to get our debts paid down and fix up our credit. My husband is on board, yet he hasn't actually contributed to paying down the debts. He pays the regular bills on time, and I'll tell him we have some extra and should pay on a debt, but then that little extra gets flitted away somewhere. It's never anything big... but when he's working he'll go out and buy food where as I'll bring food with me or go hungry instead of spending money. So I am getting frustrated at his lack of commitment to getting the bills paid and it's easy to start thinking about how different things would be if I could handle all the money without his input because then I could pay the things I want and not spend money on things I don't want to spend money on. But that's not how a marriage works. You have to meet somewhere in the middle.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
10 Oct 15
When there is a breakdown of relationship , at some level or the other mine is involved, that's what I have seen..I feel that the couple in question should have an honest talk and make some future plans and set goals which would make their future secure , probably would curb their extravagance...