Six Heady Headlines

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Headlines can really be mighty interesting. This is so, even when you don't bother to read the stories that follow under them. That being said, those stories can be mighty interesting too - even when you make up the stories yourself. Animal Magnetism - This story was about a zoo expert in the way of the critter, meercat, who got into trouble by causing a love fight with a monkey handler over a handsome llama-keeper. Can't you just see all of the fur flying on that deal? Bear Roams Around School Hallways - This happened in the wild, wild west of Montana over here in the colonies. Someone had told the bear that the school library had an original volume of the "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" story, and he wanted to read the original for himself. Outrage over the "Boo Boo Bee" Shirt - The story was missing on this one, but there was a photograph of a female in a T-shirt that had one little ghost bumble bee over the left one and another little ghost bumble bee over the right one. (I wondered why anyone would become angry about images of little ghost bumble bees...) Never Feed Your Doggie Any of These Dangerous Foods - The dangerous foods were listed, to wit: (1) Man with a gun (2) Man with a knife (3) Man with a club (4) Man with a friend with a gun (5) Man with a friend with a knife (6) Man with a friend with a club... and the list continued after that. Football Coach Says He Will Defy School's Prayer Ban - The coach's after-game prayer was printed below the headline: "Dear God, please deliver us from such crappy football players. Amen" DARPA Developing Vehicle That Can Literally Disappear (For the unwashed, DARPA stands for Defense Advanced Research Product Agency) - Patrolman Huey Finally of the Bronx, New York, police department was interviewed about this development. He commented, "Ha. Those DARPA turkeys should come visit us here in the Bronx. We have cars disappearing off of the streets all the time over here. Been that way since Henry Ford started to crank the things out of his factory." Image source - MorgueFile - photo by tallesin