Is the need to hoard normal?

@vandana7 (98526)
India
October 23, 2015 1:05am CST
I mean, come on. There are newspapers, empty rice bags, plastic covers, milk covers. Dad says you never know when we will need them. So difficult to keep the place dust free. :( For now, I have some stamina, I can try. Few years down the lane, I may not be able to do much. Should he not understand and let go?
15 people like this
18 responses
@tuttiharris (1338)
• Chattanooga, Tennessee
23 Oct 15
My aunt and my sister was kind of a horder, they kept newspapers and things. I throw everything away, and sometimes I get in such a hurry and throw things away I don't mean to and don't realize it until it is too late. I actually throwed my first set of wedding rings away. I had put them in a plastic bowl in my cabinet while washing dishes, and that night I was cleaning out the cabinet, got a hinkling to do it that night because things kept falling out, and I actually threw my rings and they went in the garbage and garbage collector got them the nex tmorning. Broke my heart, but hubby did finally buy me another set, which I never took off.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
23 Oct 15
It is indeed sad. I too lose some things like that.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
24 Oct 15
awfully sad that you lost your rings - I'm sure many people suffer similar losses all the time though. Glad you got new ones.
• United States
24 Oct 15
Oh no Tutti!
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
23 Oct 15
They will never understand and will come up with the most ridiculous reasons if you try arguing. I have given up and now she stores whatever she wants and where ever she feels like - The Dressing Table, The Almirahs, The Iron Frames, the big box made of tin - above and inside of it and even the bed. And each bundle contains those horribly awful smelling naphthalene balls. She keeps adding and removing at will \All is now okay with me as long as she does not put anything on my work desk
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
23 Oct 15
No kidding! lol. I thought this was essentially a problem with gents. I have kind of given up in our home actually. Because every time I manage to convert my home into a human abode, dad painstakingly converts it into a dump yard..in just about 2 days..it is like I want it that way..lol.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
24 Oct 15
@thesids Happy composting.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (10140)
• United States
23 Oct 15
No, it's not normal. Compulsive hoarding like that is a mental illness.
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2 people like this
• India
26 Oct 15
@vandana7 My father used to keep kilos of newspapers to 'clip the important news' over years. He never did get down to this holy task while the pile grew up enough to cover a complete wall! Finally we decided at his back that this was enough...that we didn't really want to build a 'newsroom' and off those papers went to a happy, recycled future. He was not happy of course, but we have learned the bullying art from him only, so...
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
23 Oct 15
I went through the list. I realized dad did not have many of those symptoms..especially about becoming recluse. I on the other hand have it. May be we share the symptoms 50: 50. lol. I feel odd to have anybody drop in when the chairs in the drawing room or living room are filled with these newspapers.
@LadyDuck (454979)
• Switzerland
23 Oct 15
My husband is a hoarder, I cannot decide him to throw things he does not need.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
23 Oct 15
They are very difficult to convince, right? Another characteristic of the hoarders.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16573)
• Ireland
23 Oct 15
I hoard.. I love having random stuff around me. Trick is to regularly tidy up as if you're moving houses. Then all of a sudden it's great to see what's "essential" gets to the bin. Having said that, I've moved 3 countries 'n' 5 cities in the past 7 years, so it's easier to think "travel" light.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
23 Oct 15
With dad you don't want to know. He destroyed my bed sheets collection for carrying his stuff.
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16573)
• Ireland
26 Oct 15
@vandana7 I hoard for sentimental reasons.. I will keep old cinema tickets, rail road card etc. When I come across it by chance, it brings back the memory of what I was doing that period of my life. Don't think your dad is hoarding it the same way though..
@firef1y (78)
23 Oct 15
I think some hoarding is normal, especially if you've come from a background where every penny counts, but newspapers and empty bags, maybe not
2 people like this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
25 Oct 15
No, hoarding is a mental illness :) I do hoard carry bags... think it started from the thought of those being hazardous. So least I could do was use them again. Started keeping the clean ones and take those with me, if needed. Now, my shopping has got limited but I still keep the carry bags... dump them when really old. But I feel bad...god knows where those will go and end up clogging which water source or whose digestive system...
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
26 Oct 15
My...this is so thoughtful of you. I am trying to get the government to impose mandatory purchase of bags at the stores if the person does not bring own bag. And the price of those bags should be 1/4th the price of purchase. That will really burn pockets, and people will get to their senses. Rice bags, I think you may be familiar with those 25 kgs bags made from plastics, and at times jute. I meant those.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
23 Oct 15
Hoarding is a way to fill an emotional void by hanging onto things that give you a sense of security. It's alright unless people go overboard.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
26 Oct 15
I feel it is a bit overboard because the drawing room chairs get filled, and cleaning the bedrooms has become impossible.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
24 Oct 15
I think your dad had a tough childhood, and poverty taught him not to waste anything. I think if we were to go through the same kind of childhood, we might grow up the same way. Sometimes I think we never can get rid of the habits and money ideas that come from our childhood.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
26 Oct 15
Not really. He was much better off when compared to me. In fact, he was cheated out of his inheritance by his older sister and she became very rich indeed. :) You could say subsequent hardships taught him some. But I doubt if that reasoning holds water, because he still is naive and continues to be careless when it comes to money. As per him, he has enough to eat, because I am there to manage monetary angle. lol
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
24 Oct 15
I tend to hoard, and interestingly so did my grandfathers on both my mum and dad's side of the family so it may not only be natural but hereditary.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
26 Oct 15
Hereditary? You mean to say I will do it too? Or why have I been spared..lol
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
26 Oct 15
@vandana7 not everyone will inherit and with strong will-power it can be overcome
• United States
24 Oct 15
My Mother is much the same as that Vandy, but she does give in sometimes...
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
26 Oct 15
I guess it has something to do with old age I guess. :) I hope I will not be like that. :)
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
26 Oct 15
@TiarasOceanView ..oh sweetie..you could come to India and stay with me? I won't cook beef for you but if you want I will spare you the oven and you could cook that for yourself.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 15
@vandana7 I know I wont be as I have nothing
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54192)
• Louisville, Kentucky
23 Oct 15
I agree with @yukimori that hoarding is a mental illness. We have shows on TV here in the U.S. about hoarding and it can get really bad.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
23 Oct 15
He is bad alright, but not all that bad. :)
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
29 Oct 15
@simone10 ..Actually this is more of a laziness and not knowing where to begin with than the need to hoard.
@simone10 (54192)
• Louisville, Kentucky
29 Oct 15
@vandana7 I would watch him to make sure that it doesn't get out of control.
1 person likes this
@Tita417 (1228)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Oct 15
Your dad is just cautious especially with events happening.. My dad is also that way and I just follow so like a good daughter . For me hoarding is not good too coz you have a lot to jeep clean but the thing is he's your dad so go with it. You'll be fine
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
23 Oct 15
Hey, I have been going with this for almost 50 years. lol. I never understood this from the beginning. lol Just that I tried a little bit of spring cleaning and there he was..no way are you going to throw all that ..go place it in. lol
2 people like this
@Tita417 (1228)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Oct 15
@vandana7 If you complain will it matter so why complain and have pain in your heart? Just do it with a happy face then you will feel good inside. He's your dad so if you fight him would you think you would feel good? then I give you the floor to do whatever you want if you feel good about it.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
23 Oct 15
@Tita417 ..I understand.
1 person likes this
@crewgirl (191)
• United States
24 Oct 15
I think a lot of people hoard at least one thing. I hoard paperwork and sketchbooks (each with only a few sketches in them). Who knows why... I always buy new sketch books when I'm feeling artistic because I want a new start or something. And I just keep my old sketch books. It really is a waste of money.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
24 Oct 15
No I mean hoarding waste. We are not moving out anywhere. Why have so many plastic bags gathering dust?
@crewgirl (191)
• United States
24 Oct 15
@vandana7 I see. Yeah, that seems like a problem. Maybe you can make plastic bag hats for the rain! I'm joking. I wish I knew how to solve your issue...
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Oct 15
Can you just sneak some of them out when he's not around?
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
26 Oct 15
That is how I have managed to remain sane so far Dawny..or whatever little of it. I have a better method now, suggested by my neighbor. Tell him you wont buy new clothes unless he sells some of those. This is festival time, and he has to in less than 15 days time..if I have to buy me some new clothes. He is uncomfortable, I can see that. But I think he will get down to it.
@much2say (53673)
• Los Angeles, California
25 Oct 15
Oh, I have an uncle like that. His garage is scary with piles and piles of newspapers and who knows what. He even saved the ashy charcoal leftovers after a barbeque - I don't know why. His wife, my late aunt, used to plead with him to throw away things but he always said that was being wasteful. But how is it useful when things are never used? I don't understand why my uncle still practices keeping everything - but now no one except him lives in that house.
1 person likes this
@wiLLmaH (8805)
• Singapore, Singapore
23 Oct 15
What he will do to those empty rice bags, plastic covers, milk covers? Be careful that insects or pests will live in there.
1 person likes this
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
23 Oct 15
Lol you got to be kidding. I am seeing first time that someone who is keeping all these. Can you make me clear that why he keep those milk covers? I am still wondering.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
26 Oct 15
I am unable to get him to get rid of those. They bring in cockroaches!
1 person likes this