Do you like relatives telling you what gifts to buy them?
November 4, 2015 9:17am CST
We don't exchange gifts with our families...when we lived close to them it was different. We don't see them now, we don't know what they like or don't like anymore and it's easier this way for all of us. We do buy for my husband's grandson, who we've only seen once (he's 3). I like to decide what to buy for someone. I was 'allowed' to do that the first Christmas. After that I was given a 'wish list' and told to pick something from there. In other words, buy what the mom says to buy. I know some of you might think that's a wonderful idea, nothing wrong with it. That's because you don't know her. She is very pushy about certain things and she has no fear asking/telling you what she wants and how she wants it. I did as I was told. But I still spent the same amount of money that I planned to spend. In other words I didn't pick from the most expensive items she has on the wish list, I stayed within our budget. A gift card would be so much easier, then she could do the shopping! PS: I guess I just needed to get that off my chest since I just placed the 'wish list' order! Thanks for listening!
10 people like this
4 Nov 15
I understand your point completely! People have gotten very good, these days, about telling others how to behave and what to do in social situations. What is "allowed" and "not allowed" in terms of wedding gifts, baby gifts, holiday gifts, etc. What people seem to forget is that a gift is not an obligation... it's not required... and it should never be expected. It should be received with thanks and a little grace. I see nothing wrong with someone asking for or receiving suggestions on what to give if they are stumped for ideas (I do that with my daughters at Christmas because they are both post-secondary students and I try to give them things they really want or need) but I think it's crass when people prepare and hand out lists in advance and dictate that only what they have chosen is permitted
4 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill thank you!! I just find it mind boggling how people are behaving these days. Sending out letters billing friends and family for not attending a wedding or party... including notes with wedding invitations that "only money gifts are allowed"... that kind of thing. Gets my back up and pushes me quickly towards giving nothing
• Centralia, Missouri
4 Nov 15
We finally started asking everyone to make amazon wish lists, and put tons of cheap, medium, and pricier items on there, if nothing else, people could see what kind of things you liked. But ask for demanding people buy from that, seems super tacky
4 Nov 15
Well, I think by buying people things that they don't need or want, we unwittingly create demand for things that do not have sustainable demand, and in the process, the resources move towards that industry and industries linked to that product. A few years down the lane, we shift our focus to some other product, and what was once desirable is no longer desirable. This leads to that industry making loss, unemployment, etc., which is totally uncalled for. If we can shed our inhibitions and tell each other we intend to spend this much this Christmas on gifts, pool the funds of the family and buy somethings that everybody wants, Christmas would be more fun for everybody instead of everybody settling for another purse, or dress or scarf. The cards can remain on christmas tree, but the gifts can be distributed in the house of the eldest son or eldest family member, making the Christmas tree there as the most precious one.