What makes you feel "connected" to other people?

@TheHorse (203666)
Walnut Creek, California
November 8, 2015 3:00pm CST
Last night, I went to a music party in Sacramento. All of us brought our instruments, and we played familiar songs together. There were several groups of about five "jamming," and a couple of times, as the evening wore on, I "snuck off" with individual friends and worked on tunes we both like. There was lots of good food, lots of conversation, and lots of hugs. I think music is my favorite thing for bringing people together and leading to that sense of "connection" that's so important to us humans. What are your favorite things to do to have that sense of connection? For some, it's swilling beers and rooting for the same sports team. For others, it could be a quiet conversation over tea at a kitchen table with the snow gently falling outside. For still others, it could be a book club or a "poetry slam."
18 people like this
20 responses
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
9 Nov 15
I would have spend those hours by playing rummy. We all loves to play cards here.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
My family (when I was young) went through a time when we'd play bridge all the time. I actually really enjoyed it!
4 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
@rahulvsmokiee Probably bridge. We played a lot of poker in college. That was fun too. But I like bridge best.
1 person likes this
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
9 Nov 15
@TheHorse Even i enjoys card games! tell me which one is your personal favorite card game?
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Nov 15
i've a hard time with folks, 's ya know, 'n prefer to be in the great outdoors surrounded by critters. that bein' said, 'twas a time when music filled my world 'n i can relate 'n find myself a tad bit jealous 'f yer evenin'. great times were surely had 's music 'n laughter filled the air...
5 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
I feel pretty connected when I'm alone with a favorite horse. I reckon a human need not be involved.
4 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
9 Nov 15
We tend to gather over food, but spend much more time just talking. I like a lively debate.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
I think a lively debate is a foolish idea and a waste of time. What makes you think a debate is a worthwhile pursuit? Balderdash, I say!
2 people like this
@Rohvannyn (3098)
• United States
10 Nov 15
@TheHorse I hope she takes the bait. That could be a good one.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Nov 15
hi@TheHorse I used tobelong to a writers club we all meet and tal;ed aout o ur poems or short stories or novels we were writing we even critiqued each others st uff but suddenly some got too sensitive a nd others too c ritical so I stopped going with me its just common interests and friendship for years my best friend and I went to diabetic meetings as we had f riends there and we laughed and shared stories about o ur diabetes we helped one other we were all so good with each other no fussing just a common bond.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
The same thing can happen with music. There's lots of fun conversation. And fun "jamming." But one has to strike a balance between just having fun and being too critical/serious.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (157563)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Nov 15
I think a good laugh brings people together too. Things we have in common is certainly a way to bring people together.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Nov 15
I enjoy laughing with others. And I agree about doing thing together--common interests.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (157563)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Nov 15
@TheHorse ....yes. I like the laughter because it puts you on the same plane and helps you feel more at ease with the other person right away.
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Nov 15
@celticeagle Agreed. Sharing a laugh brings people together too.
@LadyDuck (454899)
• Switzerland
9 Nov 15
A game to play together, I have friends who, like me, like to play bowling and bocce. It's funny to play together. We also like good food, talking of music and movies, or go for a walk uphills.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
Playing a game together--very true. And hiking--of course!
@JudyEv (323672)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Nov 15
We often play bocce with our friends on the grass in front of the house. There is always a lot of laughter and joking.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (454899)
• Switzerland
9 Nov 15
@JudyEv We do not play on the grass, but on a pressed soil court. There are specific dimensions to respect. Bocce is a game coming from ancient Romans.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130088)
• India
9 Nov 15
Sharing our life is what I have found that makes me stick to whoever is in my life.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130088)
• India
9 Nov 15
@TheHorse Strangely none share my interests and that is why I am more here than in my real life.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
I enjoy sharing life stories with others. It has to be with someone you feel "safe" with. And perhaps someone who you perceive as similar to you in some ways.
3 people like this
• India
9 Nov 15
@TheHorse Exactly. Someone who is in sync with me. If I get that feeling, I'm hooked! :)
@jstory07 (133739)
• Roseburg, Oregon
9 Nov 15
I like to have a barbecue to bring people together.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
That sounds like fun. Do you have a specialty?
• Canada
9 Nov 15
I love singing with others. I'd love to do so with an instrument like you do.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Nov 15
I loved singing in choirs first; i n high school, church and college too then church again friendship laughs sharing a common interest
1 person likes this
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
9 Nov 15
@Hatley me too .... I love to sing in church, at home, in the car ... and those connections can sometimes extend outside the choir or church group to other things too
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
Have you been in choruses? I really enjoyed that, but haven't done it in years. Creating harmonies wth people is one of my favorite things.
@jhieeen (74)
• Philippines
9 Nov 15
Wow. I love the picture also, it seems like you guys are happy to be together! Such a good friends indeed. For me, i just want to hang out with my friends, explore and eat what we want and ofcourse endless talk.
• Philippines
9 Nov 15
@TheHorse no one of my squad knows how to play any instruments so we're all singers lol
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Nov 15
@jhieeen Singing harmonies is one of my favorite parts of doing music. No instruments required!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
At music parties, people spend a lot of time talking as well. Then we'll get back to playing.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (69428)
• Germany
8 Nov 15
For me it wouldn't be music but talking. Not only with snow falling outside but also in summer. :-)
2 people like this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Nov 15
I can relate to that one as well. I enjoy a good conversation.
• Philippines
9 Nov 15
Interesting topic. For me, what makes me feel connected to my friends is when we talk, argue, and debate about gadget inventions/innovations, computer games, tv series/movies, and basketball teams that has the greatest potential to win the NBA championships. He he These topics, even though, we argue so hard actually makes our friendship/relationship much stronger. I also listen to music with my friends but it does not work wonders that it does you since most of my friends don't know how to play any instruments so we just talk about our favorite bands and music we listen to. Connecting with people personally is much better than connecting with them via the internet(social media). There's magic in social interactions that brings opportunities in life than interactions on the internet. So i suggest, all of us should disconnect sometimes and live on the real world meeting new people, loved ones, and friends and make a connection. Kudos~
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
I like a good (friendly) argument with friends as well.
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
@GopherDanny Is the rotten egg the one whose argument isn't so good, and winds up "losing"? Or is it the one who won't be swayed by faction and reason, and holds onto dogma (his original views), regardless of the quality of other arguments?
• Philippines
9 Nov 15
@TheHorse Yeah, a nice logical friendly argument brings out who's the rotten egg in the group of friends. Ha ha.
@JudyEv (323672)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Nov 15
This is a hard one for me to answer but I guess it's having a quiet conversation. I also like doing 'stuff' with others where you don't feel the need to constantly chat.
1 person likes this
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
9 Nov 15
@TheHorse there 's lots of ways to feel connected... I like hiking and enjoy the company... having similar tastes in music, tv, and other interests, I feel connected to some people on here,... through common interests... but have never met them...
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
I agree with both. Hiking can be like that. You might have a deep conversation at one point, and then say nothing at all for a mile.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (323672)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Nov 15
@TheHorse Not having to chat takes the pressure off if you're not naturally verbose!
@litalu2 (30)
• Haifa, Israel
9 Nov 15
I'm not a talkative so I like people who realize that sometimes its ok and nice to be silent together.
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
I see silence as a sign of comfort between two people. It's also one of the qualities of a good listener.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Nov 15
@litalu2 Many people think good isteners give good advice. Actually, good listeners often say very little.
1 person likes this
• Haifa, Israel
10 Nov 15
@TheHorse thats true.. :)
• Austin, Texas
11 Nov 15
I feel "connected" when other people enjoy my company and I enjoy theirs. They don't "act like" they enjoy being around me. They actually do like being with me. I can't tell if they faking!
• Austin, Texas
11 Nov 15
@TheHorse - Ditto.
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Nov 15
I bet you can tell some of the time. But I always just assume the best!
1 person likes this
@lokisdad (4226)
• United States
9 Nov 15
i think once you get past the awkward introductions its finding the common ground and going from there slowly building on your interests but its different for everyone.
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Nov 15
@SBhargav I've had that happen. But now that I think about it, there often was a common denominator to begin with.
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
Talking to someone you don't know can be a bit awkward, especially if there's not a reason to expect a common denominator.
• India
9 Nov 15
@TheHorse True. But, you never know. Sometimes, we think we have nothing in common, only to find out later we are alter-egos. That's a fantastic and unparalleled feeling (if and when that happens!). It does and it did for me. :)
1 person likes this
• Quezon City, Philippines
9 Nov 15
For me the things that they like.
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
As I think about it more, I realize I also enjoy it when someone has something they're passionate about that's very different from what I'm familiar with. For example, I'd love going to an art museum with someone know has studied art or art history.
@NeldaHoxie (1381)
• United States
10 Nov 15
There are so many different kinds of connections. I love being part of a stable community, where I know or recognize almost everyone I see. Today I had a wonderful conversation with the young woman overseeing the self-checkout lanes at the grocery store. I see her almost every morning, so we have an ongoing conversation.
@Rohvannyn (3098)
• United States
10 Nov 15
Usually, shared interests of whatever type. Having read the same books, or both liking certain subjects, that's the first thing I feel connected to someone with. So I guess that would start with conversation.
• India
9 Nov 15
Since you all are in same thing that is music , which is the actual reason to stay connected with each other. Likewise you will have connections-followers here as well. In this case medium will be different. In this case similarity in thoughts will play an important role or dissimilarity
@TheHorse (203666)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
I think it IS good to have a common interest, or interests. But the friendships then expand beyond the things that originally brought you together. At least that's what I've found.