When Aliases Meet
By AnjaP
@Rollo1 (16679)
Boston, Massachusetts
November 9, 2015 6:04am CST
I have just noticed that someone on my Facebook list looks a lot like someone I had on my friends list at another site in the past. I think this person even lives in the same area based on the information on both of those profiles.
If it is the same person, we are connected on another site where we both use aliases. But on Facebook, we both use our real names. We added each other years ago as friends in a Facebook game neither of us play anymore. We don't really interact but I guess neither of us feels like unfriending.
After a little more investigation, I determined that it is probably not the same person, but it brings up an interesting question: What do you do when aliases meet?
On some sites, people tend to use screen names, and this was especially true a few years ago. Nowadays, there are more people using their own names as they self-publish books and try to build a brand. But, as we've all noticed, the same people tend to show up on most writing sites. It's not completely impossible that you might run into someone who is hiding behind an alias on one site and using their own name on another. You might be doing the same.
If you ran into someone online that you know under an alias, would you out them? What if they used an alias to hide from people they know in real life? What if you were outed by someone and an alias you didn't want known was revealed? Should there be a netiquette rule about aliases?
23 people like this
19 responses
@CRanney (437)
• Wingham, Ontario
9 Nov 15
I don't think I would out them. If they wanted people to know who they were they would use their real name. I pretty much use my real name on every site.
Facebook friends that freak me out though are like today I got a friends request from someone who's only friend now is me..If I don't hear back from them on who they are and why I am their only friend I will delete them though. Hiding oneself that way is a little weird.
4 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
9 Nov 15
Even in games the same happens. People join Facebook groups set up by games players, then add everyone in the group as a friend, and it turns out they don't even play that game. It's weird and you have to wonder why and how people gather friends that way. But if you are the only friend, I would worry about a stalker.
@GardenGerty (157481)
• United States
10 Nov 15
@CRanney I had that happen, asked him why, he said he wanted to get to know me better. I deleted and blocked him. That can get scary.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
9 Nov 15
@Rollo1 You try to phrase the question in such a way that if the person had used the alias it would recognisable to her, but not actually mention the username concerned. For example, if the username was Hawaii709 then ask if they used a state and number combined.
1 person likes this
@Sheilamarie78 (2586)
• Canada
9 Nov 15
I have asked someone whether they were the same person I knew from a different site, but they used different aliases on each site, not their own name. You are right, though, we probably should be careful about "outing" anyone because we don't know the reason they choose a different name.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (205216)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Nov 15
@Rollo1 I actually don't think it would matter that much if people knew my real name. And I'd actually LIKE to be able to post some of my music for people to hear. But as a college teacher, I have to be a bit more "politically correct" than I sometimes am in the internet. I want the two identities" separate, at least for now.
2 people like this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
9 Nov 15
I hope no one would "out" them. I was stalked for eight years by an ex. I use an alias online for that reason. There are two people who know my real name, and I know they will keep it to themselves. But not to worry about my using my real name online, I only do that on Facebook, where my security is high, and only shared with a very select few.
2 people like this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
9 Nov 15
@Rollo1 Yes. Once my book is finished, and I go out to publicize it, I will have to get used to answering by my pen name. I wonder how Mark Twain got used to it.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157481)
• United States
10 Nov 15
You bring up an interesting point, as I think I may have met you on another site, as your avatar looks familiar, name is nothing like your current one. I will not say which site, or what the name is. In general, I would not out someone, unless they were doing something wrong. Now here I have in the past caught double aliases and people gaming the site. I decided to use Garden Gerty everywhere, so people I want to connect with can follow me, but most places I have my real name somewhere. However, people who search for my name will not necessarily find Garden Gerty
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (48886)
• United States
10 Nov 15
I certainly wouldn't out them. I use the same name everywhere. Hopefully I never regret it.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
9 Nov 15
I use this alias on every writing site, FB is different but I dont link it to here. Now I might make one just for that, with this same alias
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
10 Nov 15
@Rollo1 I have one, but it was one I share with friends and such, I think I may make that second FB account, and move the page over to that as management.
@garymarsh6 (23393)
• United Kingdom
9 Nov 15
That is kind of spooky isnt it. I would probably ask them if it was possible to send a private message but not if it was an open posting site.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
9 Nov 15
Very interesting question. I was on a local board for Weight Watchers years ago when I needed to lose a few pounds. I lost them and we all got together for a hike and a coffee. It was facinating to meet cyber friends in person. A few still come to my craft shows and one is connected on FB with me. Would I call someone out? I don't think so. If someone feels better hiding that's fine with me. If it was a good friend, then I'd talk about it..
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
9 Nov 15
I think I have to respect their right to hide, or be private with personal info. I would want people to respect my privacy, too. But, sometimes we know everything about people we will never meet in person. Everyone has different comfort levels where that is concerned.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
9 Nov 15
@Rollo1 I have an unusual name, in fact every person with that name in North America is a relative. (it was misspelled at Ellis Island. Its hard to hide so I use paintsonslate or campinsantiy for privacy. Those who know me know I use those two names. My husband is a celebrity of sorts (no he's not a rock star) but by using those names I leave him out of my "on line" life.
1 person likes this
@Pattitude (1287)
• Newton, North Carolina
10 Nov 15
I use the name gidget a lot, and gidget coyne, which is the name I published my Stevia ebook with. I do see a lot of aliases, and many of them were from the farmville and cafe world games I used to play. Many people did it so they could gift themselves!
1 person likes this
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
10 Nov 15
I know a bunch of people with multiple Facebook accounts, using aliases. Their main reason is that their too sick to deal with their wives and wanted to have some fun. I know. Stupid, but it's their lives. Can't do anything about it.
@AbbyGreenhill (45496)
• United States
9 Nov 15
When I started this online writing stuff in 08 I 'assumed' a pen name was the way to go and that's where I went and have stuck with it. I'm fine with it the way it is - I don't write book so I'm not aiming to be famous! I wouldn't out anyone, I'd be afraid of retribution LOL!
1 person likes this
@softbabe44 (5816)
• Vancouver, Washington
10 Nov 15
I think depending on who the person alias is if you see them remembering the connection and why they were lost.
1 person likes this
@chance216 (280)
• United States
9 Nov 15
I think we should respect each other and each others privacy as much as possible online. As you said someone may not want to be "found out" but it depends on the person. Some people may not care at all. I would most likely do it personally between just the two of us before I brought it public. Certain situations though may justify a different action.
1 person likes this
