should I feel worried because my boyfriend still talks to his ex?

Romania
November 13, 2015 1:13am CST
they've been together for the past 4 years and they ocassionally still speak on facebook. I feel I can trust him and I don't have the sensation that at some point he might return to his ex and leave me. but the fact is that whenever I talk to any of my friends about this matter they tell me they would go crazy if they were in my place and that I should get worried. well I don't feel that way... what would you do if you were in my shoes?
6 people like this
13 responses
@wiLLmaH (8226)
• Singapore, Singapore
13 Nov 15
What is your first instinct feels when he informed you that he talks to his ex once in a while?
1 person likes this
• Romania
13 Nov 15
my instinct tells me there's nothing bad going on
2 people like this
@wiLLmaH (8226)
• Singapore, Singapore
13 Nov 15
Believe what your innerself telling you @swissheart. :)
• Romania
13 Nov 15
@wiLLmaH that;s what I've been doing so far but maybe I'm just blind and I refuse to see what everyone else sees
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56108)
• Delhi, India
13 Nov 15
I think you should trust your boy friend that he talking to his ex girlfriend is a casual thing. If you feel like you could confront him and ask him to clarify your doubts. Only worrying alone is not going to help.
1 person likes this
• Romania
13 Nov 15
the problem is that I don't have doubts but people still suggest me that I should
@dpk262006 (56108)
• Delhi, India
13 Nov 15
@swissheart - Do you make your final views on the basis of suggestions given by others or you feel that you are capable enough to take a stand yourself?
• Romania
13 Nov 15
@dpk262006 of course I took a decision but there are moments when I'm starting to wonder if my decision might not be bad
@SIMPLYD (78113)
• Philippines
13 Nov 15
I too would also feel jealous . They were already ex , so that's it , they should stop talking to each other .
• Romania
13 Nov 15
and what would you do?
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (78113)
• Philippines
13 Nov 15
@swissheart I will tell him to unfriend her . And i will always check on his FB account .
• Romania
13 Nov 15
@SIMPLYD and do you think that's enough?
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (29029)
• United States
13 Nov 15
It's personally not something I would like but I am a jealous type. If you are okay with it then that's all that matters. I see you guys are still getting along after that one night where he talked about that other woman. Guess it all blew over?
• Romania
13 Nov 15
somehow I managed to get over it
• United States
13 Nov 15
@swissheart That is good... but be on your guard just in case.
• Romania
13 Nov 15
@katsmeow1213 but isn't it exhausting to always be on guard?
@Plethos (9552)
• United States
24 Nov 15
personally, it would bug me, drive me fkn crazy ! ! ! i would see it as a sign that they aint over each other yet.
• Romania
3 Jan 16
and if I forbid him to do it do you think this would change something?
1 person likes this
@Plethos (9552)
• United States
4 Jan 16
@swissheart - if hes an approachable understaning person, then you should explain to him it makes you uncomfortable. and if hes not an approachable understanding person- then let him know youll always feel uncomfortable and dont feel that you can be in a relationship under such circumstances.
• Romania
4 Jan 16
@Plethos this is the idea that it doesn't bug me
• Jacksonville, Florida
13 Nov 15
If my husband still talked to his ex we would have many issues. Not because I don't trust him but because an ex is the past and that is where it should stay-in the past. If he has moved forward in his life with you then the ex should not be on his mind at all. Your the present and you should be the focus.
• Romania
13 Nov 15
what would you do in my situation?
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Nov 15
@swissheart Honestly, your not going to like my answer but if it was me he would have to choose. Me or the ex. My husband would not be able to have us both. Then you will find out who is more important to him.
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Nov 15
@LovingMyBabies that is what i wo uld tell her too as communicating should not behard top do if you really really love one other without open communication no relationship or marriage will last long
• Philippines
13 Nov 15
I'd get jealous right away, there's no way you wouldn't feel something about this. Maybe you shouldn't approve it because you never know if there's going to be an affair if you let it just pass by.
• Romania
13 Nov 15
and if I forbid him do you think he will follow what I'm saying?
• Philippines
13 Nov 15
@swissheart I don't know. doesn't feel right to me, but it's just my opinion, it's up to you to decide
• Romania
13 Nov 15
@Letranknight2015 try and put yourself in my position. what would you do?
• Lucknow, India
13 Nov 15
I will be a bit skeptical too!! Because of there long history!! I will make sure that I communicate my concers to my partner that the communication with the ex is bothering me .. You never know when the old feelings may resurface .. And as a girl you know that how easily you can get attention from any guy by just being sad!! So, yeah I will say your concerns are right to a bit of extent.. But if you both have a good trusting relationship going on, then you can simply express your concerns.. Just to keep the communication clear!!!
• Romania
13 Nov 15
and what if I would forbid him to talk to her? do you think he would do that? I feel I would simply provoke him
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Nov 15
@swissheart tell him how you feel I think he does want you to talk things over with him look he is not a mind reader tell him how you feel about it ask him why he has to talk to her she is an ex you know do not forbid just tell him it hurts you
• Lucknow, India
27 Nov 15
@swissheart No,, Forbiding is not an option in an adult and mature relationship!! Right?? I mean, this is what I feel!! Just keep the communication clear!! Whenevr he is communicating with her, distract him in a loving manner!! Forbid is not the word you have to use,. You can use the other F word :- Forget!! Yes, make him forget about her by just distracting him in a pleasant and loving manner everytime you see him communicating, and be subtle about it!!
@koopharper (6289)
• Canada
27 Nov 15
Tough call. Sounds like it's too recent history to be no big deal. That being said I have a Facebook friend who was a former girlfriend. I don't have any issues being friends with her in that fashion but I did clear it with my wife before accepting. It hasn't been an issue and never will be. Fortunately nobody outside of immediate family and a couple close friends know about this little bit of history.
• Romania
3 Jan 16
the fact is that I don't have a problem with it. he has always been respectful and never made me doubt him
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Jan 16
@swissheart In that case I wouldn't object or worry about it.
@delyaj30 (615)
• Quezon City, Philippines
13 Nov 15
i think they should stop talking each other because you are now in a relationship with him
• Romania
13 Nov 15
so you think this would be a reason to worry?
1 person likes this
@delyaj30 (615)
• Quezon City, Philippines
13 Nov 15
@swissheart if he loves you, he will stop talking to his ex. have u asked him why they still; talking each other?
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Nov 15
Still talking to his ex does give me some worries. It only give me the impression that the relationship is not totally over yet.
• Romania
13 Nov 15
who knows? you might be right
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Nov 15
@swissheart yes i ndeed and if they do not learn to talk to each other it will not last long.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 15
For me it depends on the situation - does the ex live within distances or does she live far away? Are they communicating via Facebook Comment (where everyone could see) or via Chat? I would feel more comfortable if its' comment as it is public and there is nothing to hide. If they're chatting on-going, what would there possible be to talk about is my thinking. It all depends on the trust level you have with your significant other.
• Romania
3 Jan 16
they are talking via chat but there were many occasions in which he showed me their discussion without me asking him to do this
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Nov 15
his e x is past so tell him that and that you are his presebt si he should leave well eno ugh alohe n forget the ex that old news ab ikd tune ti y are the new one in his life