I stopped being a doormat many years ago

United States
November 19, 2015 8:59am CST
When I was young and divorced I dated a man for many years. It started out all love and romance but turned into a very controlling situation. I was told what to wear, what to say, where to go and who to talk to. I was so 'in love' that I did as I was told. It was a bad relationship but one hard to let go of since he told me no one else would ever love me like he loved me. Boy was he wrong! After we broke up I was in bad shape for over a year. One day I finally realized that from that day forward I would not be a doormat for anyone. No one was going to walk all over me and I would not be quiet. If I have something to say, I say it. I can think and feel and live as I please. I learned to say 'no' instead of yes all the time. If I make enemies that's fine, if you don't like me it's no great loss. I am who I am and I tell it like it is. One thing you can take to the bank - I won't lie to you.
8 people like this
6 responses
@LadyDuck (151920)
• Switzerland
19 Nov 15
Very well said Abby. We have the right to live our life in full and freedom is our best asset. I am sweet and kind, but I do not let people walk all over me (no more).
2 people like this
@Auntylou (4319)
• Oxford, England
19 Nov 15
Getting older can really have advantages as you mass up knowledge and experience!
2 people like this
• United States
19 Nov 15
@LadyDuck - some of us it takes longer to learn the lesson. That was in my early 30's, many years ago!
2 people like this
• United States
19 Nov 15
@Auntylou Absolutely you see things differently and more 'street sense'
2 people like this
@wetnosedogs (1557)
• United States
19 Nov 15
Good for you.
2 people like this
• Lucknow, India
19 Nov 15
A very nice decision taken by you!! And I totally agree with you. You are not living your life if you are being a doormat!! i learned this from my first relationship!! She used to have a problem with everything I did!! If I call her, then she used to yell, if I don't even then she used to yell , and the list goes on and on!! Glad I came out of it!! And I am glad for you too!! Cheers!!!
• United States
19 Nov 15
thank you and glad you have moved on from your relationship as well.
1 person likes this
• Lucknow, India
19 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill Thanks!! I guess it is right at the top as one of the best things to happen with me
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 15
@Rationalwriter See, there is always a silver lining.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (47789)
• Centralia, Missouri
20 Nov 15
those kinds of things are hard to recover from, it certainly does take time
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 15
It made me who I am now, good and the bad parts.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
21 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill this is very true, some good lessons, painful, but good
1 person likes this
@Auntylou (4319)
• Oxford, England
19 Nov 15
Very honest and well written piece. Glad you got out of those two failed relationships in one piece . Best to be determined and assertive if you don't want to be walked on!
• United States
19 Nov 15
Thank you - I now have a wonderful husband who treats me kindly!
1 person likes this
@Auntylou (4319)
• Oxford, England
19 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill I guessed so from your profile :o)
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
19 Nov 15
No one should have to live being controlled like that. I am glad you got out of that relationship.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 15
thank you , me too!