A death in the family

United States
November 29, 2015 7:36am CST
I have talked about my 95-year-old MIL and I now will tell you that Friday was her last day on this earth. We had to wait until yesterday evening to get the details of the viewing/funeral so that we could make travel reservations. See, we live 800 miles away. That's a 13 hour ride and we usually split it down the middle and stop over in Virginia. But there was something else going on. My husband started getting sick a few nights ago. He was coughing an awful lot and I knew what was coming, and so did he. He didn't sleep well and neither did I. The first thing he said this morning is he wants to go to the doctor on Monday (tomorrow). We were to leave for the funeral tomorrow. I don't drive and there is no way he could even make it to the Tennessee border the way he is. We both feel awful but if we lived close by it would be different. We just can risk him getting worse and not paying attention to his driving. I don't look forward to the reaction from the his family when they find out we won't be at the funeral. Things happen and this sure is one of those things....
16 people like this
15 responses
@whiteream (3800)
• United States
29 Nov 15
They will understand I am sure. You must take care of your husband's health. I am sorry too hear about your loss. My grandmother passed in April and we couldn't go. I felt bad because I was close to her.
3 people like this
• United States
29 Nov 15
Living a distance has disadvantages and this is one of those times.
2 people like this
@sharon6345 (137953)
• United States
29 Nov 15
If they know and trust that he is sick then you have nothing to worry about. Who o this earth would allow some that sick to drive them 13 hours. Not me.
3 people like this
• United States
29 Nov 15
I know I won't allow him to drive like this. Thanks!
2 people like this
@dianadee (1726)
• South Africa
29 Nov 15
Your own welfare and health come first.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 15
Absolutely correct and our safety.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill I had to miss my beloved grandpas f uneral as thy were in South D akota and I was in Arizona just ou of the hospital with my first born so I just could not fly there even though myhubby said he would care for the baby I was nursing so that just woulld not work,my parents were not u pset as thy knew the situation lol
• United States
30 Nov 15
@Hatley I think most people understand these types of situations.
@Elizaby (3959)
• Pensacola, Florida
30 Nov 15
Sad to hear the news of your mother-in-law's passing. My prayers are with you in this difficult time. Family should understand about your husband's illness and not make it harder on him for not attending.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 15
Thank you very much. They all know now and I think they are ok.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Nov 15
yes this is not your fault so they should realize he is ill and not up to driving so far if they do not thats too bad as you both know its not doable.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 15
I would have been a nervous wreck with him driving like he is.
@Inlemay (16875)
• South Africa
29 Nov 15
sorry to hear about your loss, family deaths are very heartbreaking and tug at the heartstrings
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 15
Thanks for your kind words.
1 person likes this
@moondebi (1209)
• Bangalore, India
29 Nov 15
Sometimes, in life you have to take such a decision depending on the priority.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 15
Absolutely and health comes first.
@sugartoes (42510)
• Greencastle, Indiana
29 Nov 15
that's the best thing ANY one could do I know if it was me I would do the same thing hubby has family in Fla which is away from us & in Tenn & Alabama so if something was to happen to either one of them & he got sick just before the trip you bet your BOTTOM dollar we wouldn't be going anywhere & that's THAT ! sorry to hear your lose though hope they understand.
• United States
29 Nov 15
Thank you, I hope so too.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 15
@sugartoes I know the roads are crazy enough and you can't concentrate when you're sick.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (42510)
• Greencastle, Indiana
29 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill & to driving that distance you'd be taking a risk
@LadyDuck (175750)
• Switzerland
29 Nov 15
I hope they can understand, it would not be a good idea to move, he would be even more sick. I believe I also had to stay home yesterday, today I am sick.
• United States
29 Nov 15
I won't let him drive, no problem there. I will get him a doc app't for tomorrow.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (175750)
• Switzerland
29 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill Do not let him drive, you could have an accident. It's better to stay home and go to see the doctor.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 15
@LadyDuck He won't be driving don't worry. With all the lung issues he has he needs some meds to kick this.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (47880)
• Centralia, Missouri
29 Nov 15
would they prefer you go and he expose everyone to the plague? Things happen, it is sad, but it is what it is
• United States
30 Nov 15
His son just called very concerned so I guess they are dealing with it like adults (which isn't always the case)
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
30 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill Well I am glad for that.
@shshiju (10567)
• Cochin, India
30 Nov 15
Don't worry all Mylotters are with your opinion. Care yourself too.
• United States
30 Nov 15
Thanks, it's nice to have you all behind me!
@GardenGerty (102468)
• United States
30 Nov 15
They may not like it, but it is mandatory to take care of the living.
• United States
30 Nov 15
Absolutely....
@PatZAnthony (12970)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
29 Nov 15
Everyone will understand. Such things happen-and no one would suggest he drive while he is not well.
• United States
29 Nov 15
I keep saying that too. The last time we went Jersey he wound up in the ER in Virginia. We don't want a repeat of that.
@gudheart (12741)
29 Nov 15
So so sorry to hear of the loss :( It is awful losing close friends or family. May she rest in peace. The thing is I am sure they will understand considering how ill he is.
• United States
29 Nov 15
Thank you very much. Yes, I'm sure they will understand. A friend of our who lives in that town knows he is sick and she is going to the viewing so I'm sure she will reinforce it.
@marlina (77831)
• Canada
29 Nov 15
First, my condolences. Second, your husband health has to come first. I was in that situation when my Dad passed. The doctor forbid me to go (650 miles away). He said I wouldn't survive the trip and that is not what my Dad wanted. I ended up being 3 months in the hospital. So, please do not feel guilty about this.
• United States
30 Nov 15
I wouldn't feel guilty - he has had respiratory infections before and it really knocks him out. He needs antibiotics and as soon as the doc is open in the am I'll call. Wow, three months in the hospital, what was wrong if I may ask?