I did not have a happy childhood

By sofs
@sofssu (23662)
November 30, 2015 8:12pm CST
In the traditional sense of the term I did not have a happy childhood. I don't remember special days, treats and fun activities. We were a brood of six and my mom was working she didn't have the time to fuss around us. Her work day never ended, she would cook clean, go to school bring back loads of books to be corrected (she was a high school math teacher) and again cook dinner for the brood. Life was one mechanical chain. However my parents never neglected to teach us christian values. They made sure we were grounded in moral and religious values. They also made sure that we took responsibility for ourselves and our pets ( we had loads of them too) MY parents instilled in us discipline and the value of hard work. Looking back, I can truly appreciate what great parents I had. The have equipped us with skills for life. I wonder if parents today consider it important to give these things to their children anymore, by just looking around at the kids in the neighborhood. They don't even seem to have social skills to get along with others. What do you think.. I could be wrong?
29 people like this
30 responses
@celticeagle (158876)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Dec 15
This has been an issue in my heart for a long time. I think that a lack of multigenerational family lifestyle has caused a lot of problems for children in the US today. I was lucky. I had a ideal childhood. My mother divorced my dad when I was about six months old and we went to live in a little trailer on my maternal grandparent's home. My mom's worked and I was at home with my grandmother. My grandmother was a Baptist and very strict about certain things. I learned how to respect the Bible and the flag. I learned so much from my grandparents. I feel that having a relationship with grandparents can so enrich a child's life. Now days kids are stuck in day care and it is very sad.
6 people like this
@celticeagle (158876)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Dec 15
@sofssu ....I really think very strongly about this. Values, morals, manners, all of it just isn't as strong anymore.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
3 Dec 15
@celticeagle I wish more people would think the way we do.. the world would certainly be a better place for it.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Dec 15
@celticeagle You make a great point here.. the multi generational family exposure does provide a strong value based setting for children to grow up in. My dad was a army man and taught us so much about patriotism.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (457822)
• Switzerland
1 Dec 15
It is sad to say, but I have the feeling that moral and good manners are no more considered important by too many parents.
5 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@LadyDuck I am glad that my parents made that choice.. I really did not have a sad childhood. I am just being a bit ironical of the reality I see around me today.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (205554)
• Walnut Creek, California
2 Dec 15
@JudyEv Boundaries make kids feel SAFE.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (325584)
• Rockingham, Australia
2 Dec 15
Yet children who have boundaries set for them in the way of good manners and acceptable behaviour are overall happier than those allowed to run riot.
4 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
1 Dec 15
There are two reasons - one is that the parents of these children were taught that it's wrong to discipline and ented to give their kids everything they didn't have. The other is that kids are spending more time in the care of schools and daycare and their values are learned there and on Facebook and they've never done all that hard work we did as kids. Hard work is good for you.
4 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Dec 15
@Rollo1 Youa re right . Parents become indulgent to make up for the lack of quality time with their kids.. this seems to forma vicious cycle.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (325584)
• Rockingham, Australia
2 Dec 15
Hard work in the way of chores and helping out certainly never hurt anyone. It is good for children to help out in ways appropriate to their age and maturity.
2 people like this
@valmnz (17099)
• New Zealand
2 Dec 15
I don't believe you didn't have a happy childhood if your parents provided all that for you, along with so many pets. I doubt you were unhappy.
4 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@valmnz You are right Val, I did have a great childhood.. I was just being ironical.. I cannot understand happiness as it is perceived today,
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 15
Regarding the social skills - children spend far too long on their computers and video games to interact with other children. Your childhood sounds a lot better than a lot of other people's.
4 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@jaboUK My childhood wasn't perfect, but it was a happy one.. Like I mentioned to someone earlier.. I was just being ironical.. because happiness is not in what you have , it is how you feel.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (205554)
• Walnut Creek, California
2 Dec 15
I'm kind of with you. I can't say my childhood was happy. Lost a parent at nine. Saw lots of arguments w/ step-parent. But my parents and step-parents also instilled high academic and moral standards in me. Those standards remain with me to this day. And I can honestly say I had a lot of happy moments in my childhood as well. Positive modeling is key. I think a lot of parents today don't model positive values.
4 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@TheHorse I did have a happy childhood, though many may not see it as fun and frolic.. but you are right .. I have always looked up to my parents because they have been great role models.. the walked the talk and lived to show us what they did not preach.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@TheHorse They are indeed. We learn much more by observation in childhood than from instructions.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205554)
• Walnut Creek, California
2 Dec 15
@sofssu I think walking the walk is more important than talking the talk. Kids are very observant.
3 people like this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
2 Dec 15
I had a happy childhood even though there was not much money around. My mother had the gift of the gab to make us feel that we were well to do. She did it in style.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@allknowing Wonderful, I had a happy childhood too.. I was just being ironical here.. Happiness is not all fun and games.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
1 Dec 15
I have noticed the same thing, parenting has changed quite a lot and not for the better.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Dec 15
@BelleStarr Yes, parenting has changed .. but not for the better as I see from the news everyday.
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (48908)
• United States
1 Dec 15
Parenting skills have certainly changed a lot.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Dec 15
@Tampa_girl7 It sure has.
1 person likes this
@amnabas (13742)
• Karachi, Pakistan
1 Dec 15
You are right the ettiquetes and values taught by them are truely tremendous.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Dec 15
@amnabas They sure are priceless gifts for the future.
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
1 Dec 15
I dont have kids, so can only guess, but I would think kids can learn better social skills from adults, but the learning of them at all would indeed be super important
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Dec 15
@Jessicalynnt I didn't like the fact that we did so much work when we were kids.. but looking back it seems we learned so much for life and were better prepared for it.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Dec 15
@Jessicalynnt Family outings were unthought of as both my parents were working. But we always spent holidays with grandparents. Our parents did make an effort to be with us when we needed them.
2 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
1 Dec 15
@sofssu It is a bit sad there wasn't time for some family stuff, like an outing now and then or something.
2 people like this
@antonbunot (11091)
• Calgary, Alberta
1 Dec 15
When I was in the elementary grades, my only sister and I lived in a small village and our late parents were small-time farmers. My sister and I had fun going to the rice fields, picking variety of fruits, swimming in the river, and so on. But when we started high school, I studied in a catholic seminary and the only time I saw my parents and only sister was during summer vacation. Being away from my parents and only sister for more than 10 years made my childhood not so happy.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@antonbunot Being away from parents is difficult for any child.. even teens. I can understand that.
2 people like this
@birjudanak (14319)
• India
1 Dec 15
yes you are right though your parents busy in work but they all done for you all and to see happy you. They always learn us good thing and how to live life and how to go ahead.this modern children have to learn from it.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Dec 15
@birjudanak Hmm.. I am glad you see it that way.
1 person likes this
@birjudanak (14319)
• India
1 Dec 15
@sofssu yes everyone have their views to see anything so everyone view never same,so thats my view and its really nice.
2 people like this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
1 Dec 15
I think parenting today is not that much different in that there are concerned parents and those who are not so conscientious. It is true, however, that there does not seem to be as much emphasis on manners and respect. However, there are still many young people who are well-mannered, respectful, courteous and who practice kindness. The majority of young people are still good and parents try to teach moral behavior. What is a fact today, unlike in the past, organizations such as schools and churches are much more lenient. In times past parents and school systems were harmonous with these aspects of child training. Parents have the quandary of not being the odd man out so to speak.
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@dorianna I may have to disagree with some things you say, Many young people does not make a generation of morally and socially conscious individuals. There seems to be a huge decline in moral, social, or religious values today. It would be hard for schools and churches to teach a generation somethings that their parents seem to rebel against.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@dorianna Yes perceptions differ, I hardly find young people willing to help older women or physically /mentally challenged people on the roads these day. I do not even see kids playing or being polite to people around. Maybe we live in different worlds.
3 people like this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
2 Dec 15
@sofssu tI will agree with you about religious, but then I am not religious either. But I have experience of pleasure with many young people in my neighborhood stopping to wave and talk to me when I am out. Offering to help when I am carrying bags. Young people of the families I have worked for always show me respect and courtesy and many of them do have religious values. Moral is defined by the individual. We each judge by our own perception. Perhaps your perception of moral is far more strigent than mine.
3 people like this
@dodo19 (47045)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
2 Dec 15
One way kids learn is from how their parents talk to them about issues. When there is a problem, parents may discuss what the problem is, how to deal with it, and such. But I think that there's another way they learn. As kids, we learn by watching our parents deal with situations and such. We learn by watching. Some kids may be surrounded by people with no value, and they learn from that.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@dodo19 yOu are right.. My parents taught us a lot more by role modelling than by lecturing. I have always looked up to my parents as my model and guide,. They were such stable, practical people.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
2 Dec 15
Your parents are praiseworthy! Good parenting is not all about treats and fun activities with kids. Unfortunately many parents spoil their kids and give them all the material things and fun but have no time to even teach them good values. Well maybe because they were also raised that way.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
2 Dec 15
@sofssu You are blessed to have such kind of parents.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@salonga I truly am.. The older I grow the more I recognize it.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@salonga Superficial happiness that come from material things don't last long. It is important to give children a good moral, social and faith based grounding. I am really happy to have had parents who have taught me the true value of life.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
3 Dec 15
I understand your parents . They are worked hard to give you 6 children, your needs . And i think , when it is this way , the siblings should just do the necessary things to make their childhood happy , because children can be happy already by just playing with their siblings .
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
3 Dec 15
@sofssu Oh i see . Well my dear , material things are actually what can make us happy . But then , i am happy that despite that you have a happy life now . I was so busy at work since Monday . Also during the weekends for an occasion
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
3 Dec 15
@SIMPLYD Not really, material things just make you feel good for a while.. happiness is being together, finding ways to enjoy what you have and know that you are loved. Glad to know all is well with you..
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
3 Dec 15
@SIMPLYD We were actually very happy.. I just meant that we were not happy in the way the world see happiness today .. in material things. You okay? I haven't seen you around for a few days now.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54189)
• Louisville, Kentucky
2 Dec 15
Sometimes I have wondered what parents are teaching, if anything, to their kids. After being around college students, I can see so many young people who were not taught standard or basic morals like we were. It is very sad and does make you wonder about the future of our world.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
4 Dec 15
@simone10 That is what I am talking about here.. they seem think life owes them everything.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@simone10 It is sad indeed.. though there are people who think all is well with the world its sad to see the decline and the neglect of he society to uphold basic morals and social standards in their daily life.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54189)
• Louisville, Kentucky
3 Dec 15
@sofssu Very true. I know some of the young people my brother works with in his office feel like they are entitled and often show no respect.
@Namelesss (3368)
• United States
2 Dec 15
I have noticed a lack in social skills. What's interesting to me is that some of the kids have noticed too and they recognize it for what it is. There is a group of school kids here who refuse to use all but the very basic text shortcuts and such.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@Namelesss I have noticed that too when children are brought up well they tend to follow the same path and stand up for what they think is right. Good to see you here.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 15
First off I was hesitant to read this because of title, once I did read it tho the title was perfect, well done! I have noticed a lot of children's parents now do not even want to raise their child. They send them to day care as long as they can. One of my students is at school from 6AM until 6PM and his bed time is 6:30. When does that parent get quality time with their child?
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
2 Dec 15
@casieannable True, I was being ironical. My parents were people I looked up to.. even now when they are no more here on this Earth. To be honest I used to leave my son in day care from 8 am to 7 Pm. It was tough for a year and a half. I held a high position in a huge IT company. I was paid a royal amount each month. But I did not see the point of earning so much when my child was so unhappy. I quit my job and shocked all my colleagues,. since the I have been a WAHM.
@sofssu (23662)
3 Dec 15
@casieannable That means work at home mom. I used to run an IT recruitment business from home.