How to know if a guy is really into you?

Portugal
December 2, 2015 7:29am CST
Hi guys I was wondering, because I'm a little bit dumb in these things, how can we know if a guy is really into us? Words anyone can say and usually we need to see in the attitudes if they really like us or not but is there any advice you can give me to understand it better? We girls are usually more open about our feelings than guys...
19 people like this
21 responses
@OneOfMany (12392)
• United States
2 Dec 15
If he seems bored when he's with you then it's a bad sign. I can't speak for all men, but a lot of us aren't very emotional and think logically. If he can spend hours talking to you and likes talking about similar interests or likes to hang out with you, then it's a good sign. If he's staring at your eyes when you talk, great sign; if he's staring somewhere else, then he has objectives with you. Of course, if you've been dating him for a while then objectives is a natural thing.
5 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
you are right ^^ sure if he shows interest in spending time with me is because he might be starting to like me. and if he find excuses or doesnt look for me is because he sees me as a friend only. thanks for your advice ^^
4 people like this
@vandana7 (68991)
• India
5 Dec 15
That is too honest. I am not sure myLot would approve the objectives bit..lol
2 people like this
• Portugal
6 Dec 15
@vandana7 what do you mean? why wouldnt mylot approve it? we are talking about things that we all pass in life. mylot is about sharing things with each other. not just about making money.
2 people like this
• Lucknow, India
2 Dec 15
Just look out for a couple of things:- Does he like talking to you and takes out time from his other things to spend some time with you and talk Second, does he feel nervous around you?? A decent guy will always feel a bit nervous and as a result may overact or remain shy( Normal behaviour goes missing)
4 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
so if a guy acts shy and shows interest in being around me like all the time does it mean he has feelings for me? i kinda am not good at seeing guys behaviour. anyway i really hope that im lucky enough to be with a guy who really makes me feel special. im so tired of falling for guys and ending up being the one who cares the most. just for once i would like to be me the one who would be loved the most.
1 person likes this
• Lucknow, India
3 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve hmm,,look u talk to guys and just observe.. Don't just get with a guy.. Talk and know about the guy.. It takes a couple of dates to know about a person(at least).... Don't set your expectations high in the start and be the normal you, yourself.. Once you understand the guy then take the next step of whether the guy is a caring one or not!!!! Normally guys take a little time to open up... Once you have had a nice understanding, then only continue
2 people like this
@vandana7 (68991)
• India
3 Dec 15
I would have problems with a guy who is nervous around me. :) I mean, I am a bundle of nerves myself. I would rather he be somebody who takes charge rather than put me in charge. lol
2 people like this
@wiLLmaH (8246)
• Singapore, Singapore
3 Dec 15
He is really into you if he likes to spend more time with you than anyone else.
3 people like this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
aww yes i think you are right the problem is that i met a guy who always spent his time around me and i really thought he was starting to like me until one day he disappeared. he just stopped to talk to me and i could never understand why he did that to me. was like he said i adore you and next day disappeared of my life
1 person likes this
@wiLLmaH (8246)
• Singapore, Singapore
4 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve Maybe he saw something that he do not like in you. Or saw some girl. Or he is not ready for any commitments.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
4 Dec 15
Is it the secret of getting the right guy that one who likes to spend more time with you is into you @wiLLmaH (3743)
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (47355)
• Gainesville, Florida
2 Dec 15
Most guys will make it pretty obvious they are into you, but sometimes guys are shy, and it's hard to tell. There could be times when the direct approach might be the appropriate action...just ask him if he likes you!
2 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
i think you are right jeff. is better to ask directly than assume that he likes and in the end he doesnt. anyway i rather wait that a guy takes the first step because i took the first step once when i really loved a guy and he liked me as a friend and it was very painful. so i decided not to do that again. i have no regrets because at least i tried but it was hard for me.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (47355)
• Gainesville, Florida
2 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve I agree that you should wait for a little while and try and let the guy make the first move. But, if you've been waiting for a long time, and still aren't sure what his intentions may be, then at that point maybe it is better if you just ask him directly.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
@moffittjc yes with that friend i waited for a long time. but i was like the entire day around him and it started to be impossible for me to hide it. anyway he liked me as a friend only and im happy that with time i could just move on ^^
@Drosophila (16694)
• Ireland
2 Dec 15
I just ask them straight up, and I can usually tell by the way they respond if they are sincere or not. It saves time, effort, and energy.
2 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
wow wendy you are so brave i truly admire you. you are right that way is so much easier and no one wastes time neither feel sad or anything. doesnt feel the same way bye bye. is much easier to understand things since the beginning so drama is avoided.
3 people like this
@Drosophila (16694)
• Ireland
2 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve Lol, I'm not brave. I'm always scared shitless when I do this. But then nothing ventured nothing gained. Life is too short for messing around and tomorrow may never come. Here's a usual trick I pull, get into a comfortable setting with the guy. So you're all laughing 'n' joking 'n' having fun, then casually say something like "hey, you gotta stop making me laugh this much! Or I'll get the wrong idea and think you like me or something." Then just watch the guy's reaction. It will be pretty obvious whether he likes you or not.
2 people like this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
@Drosophila wow wendy such an amazing idea thanks so much for the trick. i have to try it next time i go on a date with a guy ahah anyway do you have a boyfriend right now? how did you meet him? about me i dont have anyone yet but hopefully i will meet someone special very soon
2 people like this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Dec 15
If he will call you and ask you out and is always wanting to see you no matter what then yes he is into you but a g uy who makes exc uses for not dating you, never calls and openly talks about other women is not at all interested in you.
2 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
aw yes patsie thank you ^^ but i had a friend who was always interested in talking to me, spending time with me and said he liked me but suddenly became very distant and even stopped talking to me suddenly. i could never figure out what happened. thats why i feel so confused in understanding guys.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (68991)
• India
3 Dec 15
Yes. I agree Hatley. :) If the guy is the one who is initiating the process, and is perfectly taking charge of the situation and gives as much of his time as he can get to you, bending backwards at times, and takes all your calls. That is it.
2 people like this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
@vandana7 i met a guy like that two months ago. he was always wanting to be with me. but his ex gf came to talk to me and asked if he liked him and i lied to her saying no because i didnt want her to get hurt. but i told her to talk with him.so then she talked with him and they went back together and he told me not to talk to her anymore because he didnt want her to get mad at him! can you believe this guy? he was telling that he liked me, wanted a relationship with me, didnt want her anymore and i believed him. he was really sweet to me so i never thought this would happen. what i did no one would do you know? talk with his ex, feeling sorry for her and tell her that he didnt love me so she wouldnt get hurt and then they went back together and he told me not to talk to her so she wouldnt get mad at him? so then i told her the truth. i said that he liked me and didnt want anything with her. that even talked about me moving to his city. and she told me that he denied everything. and as far as i know she is with him. past week she asked me if i still talked with him. i dont understand what these people want from me.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
2 Dec 15
You require to rely on your insticts, gut feelings , wisdom and experience in life to check if a guy is really interested in you. If the guy is really serious, there will be consistency in his behaviour towards your.
2 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
yes i guess he will just always be sweet and care for me. because sometimes guys act too sweet and suddely change and we be like what happened? why guys cant always act the same way? guys always say that we girls are complicated but they are no better
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
3 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve It entirely depend upon the guy who fall for you. I told you to check whether he is serious for you, you need to check whether his behavior is consistent over a period of time, if you find that his behavior is inconsistent, it means the guy is not suitable for you.
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
@dpk262006 yes you are right. i agree. i think if a guy cares for awhile and then be for a long time without saying anything is obvious that he doesnt care at all. anyway i think that is really hard sometimes to understand guys. they are good in making us believe that we are special and sometimes we are not. we are only an escape to them.
1 person likes this
@rocky1980 (544)
• Chandigarh, India
3 Dec 15
matter of hearts,love are always complicated. but if there is fire on both sides, the right moment will come itself and you would know. till then just play along.
2 people like this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
thats true sometimes we like the person so much that with afraid of losing the person we take things too serious from the start and we end up scaring the person away. thats why i think that the best is to just play along. live one day at a time and dont rush into things.
2 people like this
• Chandigarh, India
3 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve In love, you can't rush for things, you have to wait, till you see it coming clearly. Also you can't wait for too long that you lose him before you know it.
2 people like this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
@rocky1980 yes there was a guy that i think i waited too long to spend time with him and he just went away from me. i didnt want to rush into things, i took things so slowly that i think he got tired of waiting for me. anyway i wont make that mistake again.
2 people like this
@youless (94719)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Dec 15
If you want to know if a guy is really into you, you can see whether he is willing to spend more time to be with you. He can be very busy at work, but he will still squeeze some time to see you. In the past I had a friend who knew a guy for some time. But when she asked him out, almost everytime he said he had no time. I was sorry for my friend because she often dated him but he had different excuses to decline. I told my friend that he didn't love you and it was better for her to give him up and found another right guy.
2 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
youless you are right. your friend was being used. when the guy wanted she was always available but when she wanted he always found an excuse. such a stupid guy im happy your friend took your advice and moved on with her life. sometimes when we love someone we become blind and dont accept any advices. and thats the worse we can do. we shouldnt trade friends for lovers. we should always take our friends advices.
1 person likes this
@youless (94719)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve I don't like that guy although I haven't seen him before. If he didn't love my friend, then he should say it so that it wouldn't waste her time. Perhaps he didn't have a girlfriend yet, so he didn't mind having a girl like her who could be available anytime whenever he needed her.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
@youless yes sadly some guys are like that. just dont want to be without someone. i think actually that most part of guys cant stand to be alone for a long time. but they should always be honest about their feelings. i mean if you dont like the person dont say it. just be honest and say that you dont want anything serious and just goes who wants. the problem is that some guys say: i love you without feeling it and just use the person. probably what that guy did with your friend.
1 person likes this
@Dalane (700)
• United States
2 Dec 15
If a guy is really into you, you will know it. Don't waste your time on guys that keep you second guessing all the time.
2 people like this
@Missmwngi (10792)
• Nairobi, Kenya
2 Dec 15
Well said myfriend,don't guess and you will know inventually
2 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
thanks dalane for your advice ^^ yes i will try to be smarter on evaluating guys i guess thats because i dont have much experience that its harder for me to understand sometimes. but you are right a guy that makes us feel insecure all the time doesnt deserve us.
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
@Missmwngi yes i will try to be smarter and understand things better. some guys are just so smart because act very sweet and sure we think they really like us. but sometimes in the end they just have interest in using us.
@joygracia (1328)
• Philippines
4 Dec 15
I've had my experiences and mostly bitter once when it comes to relationship but I have come to understand that once a guy likes someone, he will definitely make an effort to get close to you. Ultimately, a guy will make and a move and say it to you directly. Lets be careful with some guys whom we thought like us though because other guys naturally are sweet and we might mis interpret it. One clue I could see a guy is really into you is that he'll constantly make contact with you.
2 people like this
• Portugal
5 Dec 15
yes i agree with you if a guy constantly tries to be in touch is because we are important to him. but i met a guy months ago that was always saying he likes and adores me and stuff and then he went back to his ex girlfriend and is like what we had was a lie. nothing happened but he said he adored me and wanted to be my boyfriend in the future and in the end all was a lie.
• Chennai, India
8 Dec 15
yes you are right , but sometimes the effort that guys put to show their real love, care, attention is not enough for the girl and sometimes our efforts go unidentified and they end up finding another guy, i have experienced that :) So i am careful these days :)
@scheng1 (24741)
• Singapore
2 Dec 15
Sometimes it is better to be dumb than to assume that all the guys like you. I think many silly gals make the mistake of thinking that guys like them, and in the end, they suffer a broken heart.
2 people like this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
yes i agree with you. many girls a guy cant joke with them that they already assume that the guy is interested. for me i dont assume a guy is interested in me unless he says it to me directly. i dont like misunderstandings and is embarassing.
@birjudanak (7293)
• India
2 Dec 15
you can only know while they are ready to do anything for you like if you have past then he ready to forget it,if he accept in what ever condition.most important thing he never negated you though he is busy but he he loves from heart not from face and clothes. his life and day start with you and end with you then you can say he and you are one.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
aww yes i think you are right. if he really loves me then he will be like all day trying to be in contact with me ^^ i had a friend that even one day was hard for him to be away from me. what was really cute.
1 person likes this
• India
2 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve they in contact with you but not whole day but in free time and person who totally understand you and he has trust on you then he is in love with you.he can see heaven in you and he will change for you then he is truly believe in you.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
@birjudanak yes i meant contact me everyday not the entire day sorry if i didnt explain myself right. i think if we really like someone is like we dont get tired of being near the person. and i felt very special back then. i miss that time. i was so happy everyday. always waiting to be around him.
1 person likes this
@MusesM (587)
3 Dec 15
hi you are very pretty girl,i think we just know it if a guy really into us
1 person likes this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
aw thanks you are so sweet i really hope that i can understand when a guy really likes me. i tend to be a bit innocent sometimes and dont get obvious things. mostly when a guy is interested in me. also there is other thing. some guys are just so sweet with everyone that is hard to tell if we are special or not
@MusesM (587)
4 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve haha,that is true too,maybe you should forcus on how you feel about him not about how he feel about you
1 person likes this
• Portugal
4 Dec 15
@MusesM yes i will take things slow next time i like a guy i will try not to think so much and act more. i always think too much and end up losing things because im afraid of risking. i will try to take more attitudes and stop being afraid. if it has to go wrong it will but at least wont be because i was afraid of trying
1 person likes this
• Israel
3 Dec 15
I don't believe in a list of things that can show you he likes you. It is just something you feel inside. or not. If you deeply feel he likes you, he probably is.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
yes ella i think we feel it. but sometimes we just feel that a guy likes us and in the end he didnt like us as much as we thought. because when we fall in love we tend to create some illusions and sometimes end up liking someone that didnt really exist.
• Israel
4 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve Yes, but if you honest with yourself you will know when it is only your imagination and when it is the truth. I will tell another thing, you are not supposed to be confused about it, it's something you know, but I won't be surprise if someone didn't try to mess with your head, telling you he is not for you and stuff. Please be carefull. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
4 Dec 15
@EllaSpringtime thanks so much for your advices. i will be careful i will try to be more smart next time i like a guy. im so done with giving all i have to a guy and in the end being left alone. its like im so sweet to the guy and he never gives me the sweetness i give him you know? i just wanted for once that a guy cared for me more than i care for him.
@dorianna (512)
• United States
3 Dec 15
There is nothing more important to him. He has time for you, he doesn't make excuses. He listens and takes an interest in you. He is proud of you when he is with family and friends. When he is with you he shows respects. he does not eye or flirt with other females. He will always think you are the prettiest girl in the room. He is loyal and does not allow anyone to bad mouth you or treat you unkindly. He is affectionate but not pushy and does not try to force you into any behavior you are not willing or ready to accept. He will never pull the 'if you love me' line to get you to do something you are not ready to participate in. In summation, he is loyal, respectful, and attentive..
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
i loved your answer and i really hope im lucky enough to meet a guy like this. that does all this for me. im so sick and tired of being like this to guys and never receive the same in return. i always end up receiving half of what i give. what isnt fair at all
1 person likes this
@dorianna (512)
• United States
3 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve you will meet one as long as you decide you are worth it and don't waste your precious time on anyone that doesn't know your worth. :)
1 person likes this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
@dorianna thanks so much i will try to trust myself more. you know sometimes i think that i dont value myself enough and thats why i always end up hurting. i should value myself above the guy i like. and i always do the opposite. i always see other people happiness first and then mine. i have to start thinking about myself more. thanks for your advice
1 person likes this
• Canton, Michigan
3 Dec 15
He will make a pass at you and wait for your response.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
yes you know i just wanted to meet a guy who made me feel important. like he cant be without me. i guess that feeling must be great. i felt that once and i really miss that feeling. i was sure that i was important to him because we were always in contact with each other till one day he leaves and never telling me the reason why.
@deeraj005 (132)
• Mumbai, India
3 Dec 15
3 main things to look out for the guy- 1. See if he feels shy around you. 2. See if he glances at you frequently. 3. See if he gives you more attention over others. If it is so, bectha he's in love with you. But that doesn't necessarily mean that he will confess his love to you. Guys are real shy when they have their crush around them so it is upto you to befriend him, and make that friendship blossom into something beautiful. Good luck. :)
1 person likes this
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
awww i loved your advice yes you are so right. the best is to take things slow and dont rush into things or the guy might get scared anyway i think is true that if a guy likes a girl he will feel a bit shy around us. or joke a lot like some guys do so we cant notice how nervous they are
1 person likes this
@Missmwngi (10792)
• Nairobi, Kenya
2 Dec 15
Love is a very eeh eeh mmmh i am lucking the word of looking for,but if he was into you you will know for sure
1 person likes this
• Portugal
2 Dec 15
i think we girls have a right feeling about if a guy likes us or not. but sometimes i see girls that think all the guys like them and they are wrong sometimes. i mean they can feel attracted for them but like is totally different.
@else34 (13601)
• New Delhi, India
3 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve,Honestly speaking,no idea.Or,should I say I don't know?I have never been in this thing.I have seen my sister's bf and noticed his behaviour,but it's too difficult for me to narrate it.
• Portugal
3 Dec 15
ahah i understand dont worry. actually guys have different personalities so i think it probably depends on the guy and we cant take something for sure. we can just say the things they usually do but it doesnt mean that all the guys will act the same way. thanks anyway for your opinion
1 person likes this
@else34 (13601)
• New Delhi, India
4 Dec 15
@sweetloveforeve Yeah....You are right.Each guy has his own way to behave with his gf.My sister's bf seems to be a little careless.He doesn't hesitate to behave in an odd way even in my presence.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
4 Dec 15
@else34 oh really? but what does he do? does he treat your sister in a rude way? he should love your sister and respect her. if he is not being good to her she should get separated from him. we deserve to be cared and loved and respected. if that guy cant do that then he should be out of her life.
1 person likes this