December 17, 2015 12:44pm CST
I thought the risk I took was very well calculated. He was a traveller and I met him online so I knew it was not good to invest feelings on him. I even got used to not having him around all the time because of his travels and I've opened myself up for meeting other people. We were not in a relationship, there was never time for one, we were in the boundary of friendship and lovers. Almost lovers. I sent him off last Monday and I've managed not to cry in front of him as he left Australia. But today, 4 days after I sent him off I finally gave up holding my tears. It don't know why but although I'm used to not having him around, knowing that he's in a different continent makes me miss him so. It tears my heart apart. So this is what heartbreak is like, crying heavy tears silently at 2AM. My only consolation is we had a lovely time together and I was able to vent out my feelings for him in a love letter I gave him before he left. He says he hasn't read it yet because he is saving it for a special moment. I hope he reads it soon and tell me where I go from here. Should I give up and move on or should I wait? I could seriously wait for him if he assures me that I'm not waiting in vain.
3 people like this
2 Feb 16
It's been almost 2 months now and we still have communication via SMS and Facebook with this guy. But there are times when he can't reply right away and the absence is just too much for me. To make it worse I get really paranoid and insecured and begin thinking of him cheating or what.
18 Dec 15
I'm just waiting for what his reaction will be with my letter. If he tells me to wait I'd be waiting. If not then at least I can move forward. Whatever happens I feel so lucky to have met him. And if I'd have to do it all over again I'd still do the same.