My Mother and her friend Sue

@boiboing (12524)
Northampton, England
December 26, 2015 5:39am CST
My mother is 74 and is a great example of why you should never assume that little old ladies are sweet little old ladies. Her friend Sue came over on Christmas Eve and since my step-father had gone to bed early with a cold, the two got a bit giggly. Sue revealed that she and Mum go to "a lot of weddings even though we're not invited". It turns out that they have a regular Saturday afternoon routine of going for coffee in the local 4 star hotel which is very popular with wedding parties. The two sit themselves on comfy chairs with a good view of the wedding guests and then 'critique' their outfits. I said I could imagine the things they'd be saying. "Does she know what she looks like?", "That needs an 'underskirt'" and then Sue told me that Mum's classic was "Does she own a mirror? or have an honest friend?" I could be confident as these are exactly the kind of things my mother said to me in my teens. My mother's observation is that too many wedding guests seem to suffer from body dysmorphia - they think that they are two sizes smaller than they really are and look like they've tried to stuff too much shopping into a bag that's too small. Luckily most of the brides do pretty well - though some are flashing rather more than might be considered appropriate in their virginal white dresses. Sue has been known to pinch the leftover cakes and sandwiches from groups who've ordered 'afternoon tea' and found they couldn't finish them. She has no shame about such things. I'm thinking of arranging to come visiting next time they're planning some wedding party observation. For those who now want to condemn this post (or Mum and Sue) for being judgemental, I can only say that we ALL judge others by how they dress and how they behave - even if we swear that we don't. The same women in the 6 inch heels, ignoring the old advice of "legs OR cleavage" and going for both, will be looking at the 'old dears' in the comfy chairs and making a ton of assumptions and judgements about them. Unless you live in Mao-era China where everybody, male or female, young or old, was wearing identical blue pyjama suits, what you wear will say something about you, even if you don't intend it to.
15 people like this
12 responses
@Drosophila (16863)
• Ireland
26 Dec 15
Lol.. I can see myself and my bestie doing this at the sweet age of 75 xD
3 people like this
@boiboing (12524)
• Northampton, England
26 Dec 15
I'll come along and join in.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (49988)
• United Kingdom
26 Dec 15
Hey, I'm 76 and anything but sweet!
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16863)
• Ireland
27 Dec 15
@jaboUK Respect! Well, I was hoping I would turn into a secret "lemon cake" by the age of 75, you know, looks sweet outside, but sour inside? So I can go and erm.. give some real "trick or treat" to some god awful kids.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (48190)
• Centralia, Missouri
31 Dec 15
HAHAAHAHA, I kinda want to tag along too.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (12524)
• Northampton, England
31 Dec 15
I think that I should sell tickets.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
1 Jan 16
@boiboing it does sound like a riot
@LadyDuck (118006)
• Switzerland
26 Dec 15
I am learning something new every day. I never thought to do something like this. I am sure that the two ladies had a lot of fun. I know that my Mom and her best friends do the same, but not at the reception, inside the Church, during the ceremony.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (12524)
• Northampton, England
26 Dec 15
Now that's VERY naughty. And in Italy I'm sure nobody ever dresses anything but perfectly.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (118006)
• Switzerland
26 Dec 15
@boiboing People usually dress well, especially to attend a wedding. My Mom is 94, this is her little hobby.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 15
He he he, I love it - they must be having a ton of fun. It sounds like something I would do!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 15
@boiboing LOL, you have a good point!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (49988)
• United Kingdom
26 Dec 15
I'd hate to be stereotyped as a little old lady just because I've reached a certain age. An amusing post.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 15
@boiboing it sounds like a vood concept for tv show.
@boiboing (12524)
• Northampton, England
26 Dec 15
Shall we pitch it to the BBC? As 'Little Bold Ladies'?
• United States
26 Dec 15
@boiboing now you're talking!
@MALUSE (31567)
• Denmark
26 Dec 15
Insolence wins! I can imagine the two wedding crashers. I'd join them if I lived nearby.
@boiboing (12524)
• Northampton, England
26 Dec 15
I think that the three of you might get banned.
@hereandthere (22917)
• Philippines
26 Dec 15
i squirmed when i heard my mother and her sister doing it while we were inside public transportation.
@boiboing (12524)
• Northampton, England
26 Dec 15
My mother, thankfully, does it very quietly. Unlike the old lady who sat next to me on a plane recently who was very indiscreet in her comments about other passengers.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (30981)
• Portland, Connecticut
27 Dec 15
OMG I love your mother and Sue, that is just too funny. I must remember to make sure I don't look like a stuffed sausage in my dress lol
@marlina (60411)
• Canada
26 Dec 15
That is a strange way to entertain themselves.
@kevin1877uk (36108)
26 Dec 15
I'm glad your mum and her friend Sue have a lovely time going to different wedding, sounds like they have a lot of fun.
@pgntwo (21334)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
26 Dec 15
I've heard such antics can keep some in coffee, cakes and cahoots all afternoon, but I've never tried it.