Have you ever said no when others borrow money from you?

borrow money
@youless (90329)
Guangzhou, China
January 2, 2016 4:27am CST
Some time ago my friend borrowed nearly $100 from me and he returned it back later. And then one month later the same thing occurred. And last week he also borrowed money from me and he said he would pay it back later. I know he will pay it back to me and lending $100 is OK. After all, it is not a very big amount. But I wonder why he is so short in cash? I know he does enjoy shopping online and he is even addicted into it. And it doesn't make a sense to me that he sometimes buys something but doesn't use it when he gets it. It is a big waste. I guess this may be a reason that he doesn't have money left. Since he is my friend, so I feel embarrassed not to lend him money. I just hope that he can control his online purchase.
16 people like this
18 responses
@boiboing (12206)
• Northampton, England
2 Jan 16
If you feel uncomfortable about this, I would suggest you tell him.
3 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
It is embarrassing to tell him. It is hard to say no to small amount, and especially he will return the money. I just don't like that it seems to be a habit.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (12206)
• Northampton, England
2 Jan 16
@youless It is not YOU who should be embarrassed - it's him. Just say no the next time. OR ask him why he needs to keep borrowing. Maybe you can offer him some practical advice.
2 people like this
• Indonesia
2 Jan 16
I agree with @boiboing . Why would you think it's embarassing to not lend him? big or small it still money. Give him reasonable reason, like you're saving for something or you need to buy something soon.
2 people like this
@shshiju (10303)
• Cochin, India
2 Jan 16
One day a man borrowed $ 100 from a person A. When A asks for money he borrowed from another person B and payback to Mr. A. And When Mr. B demanded money he borrowed from Mr .A. again. And the story continues... How is the system.
3 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
Very confusing
2 people like this
@shshiju (10303)
• Cochin, India
2 Jan 16
@youless Really, I have edited it . Try it again.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Jan 16
Maybe that may be the reason. He might owe more people than you.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
2 Jan 16
OH, I had experienced the same. a year ago there was new college girl living next door. She was friendly, and then we became close. She started borrowed money from me for some different reason. She always pays back as she told me. But later I found that her parents sent her money every month like more than what I earn. She likes shopping a lot and her parents did not know. Later I stopped, not giving her money when she wants to borrow. I don't like that she lied to me and to her parents. I told her I start saving money for my future plan, and I can't help her anymore.
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jan 16
Did it ruin your relationship with her?
2 people like this
• Indonesia
3 Jan 16
@youless I'm not sure what she think about me that time, but she moved out not long after I stop lending her money.
1 person likes this
@srisahara (4153)
• Indonesia
2 Jan 16
I ever said no when others borrow money from me, because at that time I do not have much money. I have just for fulfill my daily needs. I think it is not wise if I borrow it while I do not have extra money. I think it is very risky for me if the money does not pay back immediately. Usually, I said to her/him, I am sorry...
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
I wish I could learn how to reject it.
2 people like this
@srisahara (4153)
• Indonesia
2 Jan 16
@youless I think it is difficult if you have much money. Moreover, if someone who want to borrow money from you knows that you have much money. I think you can't say no...
2 people like this
@celticeagle (117189)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Jan 16
I have made it a rule that I do not loan money. Too many irresponsible people.
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
If so, I have to choose to lose money or both money and friend.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (12206)
• Northampton, England
2 Jan 16
@youless No, he's not a friend if he puts you in that situation.
2 people like this
@salonga (27996)
• Philippines
4 Jan 16
If a friend spend too much and then would ask me for money I would certainly turn him down. I am not a bank.
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jan 16
I wish I could be so brave like you.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (35525)
• Holiday, Florida
3 Jan 16
and hopefully he does give the money back each time. i would worry a time would come they get to far behind
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jan 16
At least he returned money to me in the past.
@ida123 (6267)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
3 Jan 16
If you have extra money and you trusted him that much then let him borrow some amount but not a big one.
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jan 16
I prefer to put my extra money into the bank
• United States
3 Jan 16
That is strange that he keeps borrowing you $100. Now he knows you allow him to borrow so he is making it a habit. But it isn't a large amount ~ I am curious to how come he doesn't have $100 to his name?
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jan 16
I don't understand it. Perhaps he thinks that it will be difficult to borrow a lot.
@jstory07 (65293)
• Roseburg, Oregon
2 Jan 16
I would not loan anymore money to him. Once you start he will keep asking .
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jan 16
I know.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (147380)
• Switzerland
2 Jan 16
This is something that in the long run can ruin a friendship. If you are uncomfortable, please tell him, or find an excuse not to give him money anymore. After all, you could be also be short in cash.
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jan 16
It is hard to say no since the money is not a lot...
2 people like this
@delyaj30 (615)
• Quezon City, Philippines
2 Jan 16
many years ago a friend borrowed money to me, she didn't pay me back, so i just let it pass. Another friend borrowed money, i gave her and same thing happened. Se didnt pay me...Until one time another friend borrowed money to me and it was a big amount. She just paid me 10% of the amount she borrowed. Since then, i realized that lending money to other people is not good for me because they always cheat me and not pay. so, if anyone asked or borrow money, i don't give anymore. I have learned
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
When you say no to a friend, it means that it is likely to lose a friend. But if you lend the money, it is risky to lose a friend and the money.
1 person likes this
@marlina (71254)
• Canada
2 Jan 16
I think it is a serious mistake to lend that money to this person, friend or not. You are taking the chance that one day he will not pay you back. And there is nothing that you will be able to do about it.
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
You are right. Hopefully he will return the money soon and he will not borrow money from me again. Today it is sensitive to lend money.
1 person likes this
@nytrisco (567)
• Philippines
2 Jan 16
Hi, in my case it would really depend on who borrower is. As long as I know that he/she pays on time and do not have any negative feedback from other people, then I can lend him/her some money.
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
You are very generous.
1 person likes this
@scheng1 (24812)
• Singapore
2 Jan 16
I do not lend money. Even if I lend to my family, I will always write down in black and white, and we will both sign on the paper. It is a matter of principle.
2 people like this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
This is why he just borrowed little money so that it will be less formal and I can lend to him easily.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (78119)
• Philippines
4 Jan 16
If i know that my friend is spending beyond his means because of unnecessary spending , i would only let him borrow once . Once is enough , two is too much . And i believe that .
1 person likes this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jan 16
I wonder whether he will feel hurtful if I point out this.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (78119)
• Philippines
5 Jan 16
@youless well, if you deliver it in a nice loving way , he will not be hurt .
1 person likes this
@birjudanak (7158)
• India
2 Jan 16
its depend on friends as he give back no problem but if they earn like us same amount and not any expenses for house work then why they short from money so i will give once but not more then it because then it habits that he always give me so he is fearless...
1 person likes this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Jan 16
You are right. It is more like a habit...
1 person likes this
• India
2 Jan 16
@youless sometimes we feel that why he not come this time or we feel that we give rent them...
1 person likes this
@Auntylou (4324)
• Oxford, England
2 Jan 16
I would only lend what I could afford to lose as many do not pay their debts. You are not a bank though and will not always have enough to lend, so surely the occasional refusal should not hurt the friendship
1 person likes this
@youless (90329)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jan 16
I am not sure. It is hard to say it will not hurt the friendship if I reject it.
1 person likes this