Don't Call Her Fat!

My own - Norwegian fjords
By Jabo
@jaboUK (54867)
United Kingdom
January 3, 2016 5:09pm CST
A girl had a shape that was spherical Of which her fella was critical, When he said 'lose weight' She got in a state, In fact she was almost hysterical. She was anything but philosophical And turned to abuse that was physical, She bit like a shark Her teeth found their mark On regions of him anatomical. So why not be diplomatical Better to be sympathetical, If your lady is fat Don't tell her that, Or it could just be catastrophical. You may think my rhymes ungrammatical, Or even absurdly nonsensical, But that is OK I've brought into play The use of the licence poetical. Original limerick by Jabo
72 people like this
65 responses
@Asylum (48266)
• Manchester, England
4 Jan 16
Rather than just sit there and snort She could take up some kind of sport Sumo wrestling for instance Or run a long distance Even diet as a last resort If he finds her weight entertaining There is no point in just complaining If he chose to use tact It would still be a fact That the seams of her dress are straining
22 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@Asylum Oh yes, her seams may be straining, With all that weight she is gaining, But she thinks he's a rat For calling her fat, From those words he should be refraining
18 people like this
@Asylum (48266)
• Manchester, England
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK He was honest, she is a fat slob An oversized unsightly blob No-one else is to blame For her overgrown frame So why shout at Jack, Bill or Bob
13 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@Asylum If she knew how you think she'd have cried, It would hurt if she'd heard how you chide, You deem her grotesque And not picturesque As she'd been when she was a bride.
11 people like this
@JudyEv (130208)
• Bunbury, Australia
4 Jan 16
Telling a girl she’s obese Might cause him to be ill at ease She might give him a clout Even knock the sod out Or sit on him – make him wheeze
8 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@JudyEv Nice one Judy Yes, telling a girl she is fat, Is likely to cause a great spat, If he makes her sob Saying she is a slob, It serves him right if on him she sat!
8 people like this
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK Lemme try! I don't understand why people call her fat, She's just healthy, not a thin mat, Fat, Fat, what the hell, It's her life, let her live well, Call her fat, all healthies on you will be sat! :P I dunno if I nailed it or not...
7 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@deeraj005 Nice try - well done. I love it when people join in
4 people like this
@xFiacre (4797)
• Ireland
3 Jan 16
@jabouk It's a brave or foolish man who tells a woman to lose weight!
6 people like this
@marlina (76666)
• Canada
3 Jan 16
It is an extremely foolish man!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@xFiacre @marlina You are both right, of course.In fact he must be downright stupid.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (48266)
• Manchester, England
4 Jan 16
He was not that brave because he probably told her over a long distance telephone call.
1 person likes this
@Platespinner (17046)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
4 Jan 16
Hopefully I have managed to teach my boys not to make such a foolish error...
6 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@Platespinner I hope they learned or they will be toast
1 person likes this
@marlina (76666)
• Canada
4 Jan 16
@Platespinner, You are a very wise mama!
3 people like this
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
Hope they remember what you taught them.. They boys of this gen are highly prone to STML...
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (32377)
• Canada
3 Jan 16
I love it! And the ending makes all of your poems make perfect and legal sense!
6 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@Juliaacv Ha - poetic licence can cover a multitude of sins
4 people like this
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
Legal! Lol, I almost ate my shoe! _
1 person likes this
@sueznewz2 (10121)
• Alicante, Spain
4 Jan 16
soo funny...I love reading your poems ..., and the comments to when people use rhyme to make a comment...., like @Asylum....
5 people like this
@Asylum (48266)
• Manchester, England
4 Jan 16
Thank you. It is something that I find to resist when the original discussion is presented that way.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@sueznewzs I'm pleased this amused you Sue, and yes @Asylum and I tend to set each other off
2 people like this
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK @Asylum Who usually wins??
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (10100)
• Manchester, England
8 Jan 16
I made the mistake of reading this during a sneaky coffee break at my desk. My snorts of laughter didn't go unnoticed!!! You have seriously surpassed yourself with this one. Especially the last paragraph. Really tickled me that did!!! Mrs WorDazza's not fat, I'm constantly telling her that, Too much notice she takes, Of modelling rakes, Who look just like clothes pegs with hats.
3 people like this
@WorDazza (10100)
• Manchester, England
8 Jan 16
@jaboUK It wouldn't be my lady's wish, For her husband to be feeling a fish, I'm sure she'd rather, Have it served with Cava, And salad as a healthy side dish.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@WorDazza I think I might have put too many tt's on prat, but I definitely did not put an 's' on the front!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@WorDazza Well I've just looked in the dictionary and no - no pregnant goldfish. Prat - 'an incompetent or ineffectual person'. Nothing listed under 'pratt'. Sprat - 'a small fish' I WIN.
3 people like this
@Darroch (245)
• United Kingdom
3 Jan 16
That's brilliant. Wish I could write rhymes like that. My husband is definitely the better of us, when it comes to things like that, but occasionally I can have a bright moment.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@Darroch Perhaps you can treat us to some of your own 'bright moments'?
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
As it is said in our country, "Dimag ki batti jaleli hai!"
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@deeraj005 Now you'll have to tell us what that means
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39591)
• United States
4 Jan 16
Her figure it may be quite stout But he's off to be calling her out His love life will suffer He is now quite a duffer No kisses for you she did shout
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@BelleStarr Brilliant Isabelle - I'm so glad you have joined in this limerick-fest! Yours made me laugh, and on that note I'm going to bed - it's nearly 4.30am.
2 people like this
@maggs224 (1708)
• Alicante, Spain
10 Jan 16
@BelleStarr Nice one Belle it made me smile :D
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (39591)
• United States
10 Jan 16
@maggs224 Thanks Maggs, I can't compete with the two of them but I like to throw in one here and there.
3 people like this
@hostessman (9756)
• Tucson, Arizona
3 Jan 16
@jabo very nice and humorous. I have never been able to write any kind of poem. There are several people here and also bubblew had some that are very good at writing them.. You are one of them...
3 people like this
@marlina (76666)
• Canada
3 Jan 16
I agree with you
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@hostessman @marlina Thank you both, I appreciate it that you like my silly poems.
1 person likes this
@marlina (76666)
• Canada
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK I love them, keep them coming. Wish I could do it.
1 person likes this
@Dragonairy1 (1413)
• Newcastle Upon Tyne, England
4 Jan 16
A great very well timed poem, I suspect there's more than a few of us looking to loose a few pounds
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@Dragonairy1 You've got that right!
1 person likes this
@marlina (76666)
• Canada
4 Jan 16
I lost enough since my illness, so not looking for losing any more.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@marlina I'm sorry to hear that, I knew you hadn't been well but didn't realise it was serious enough to make you lose weight. I hope you are ok now.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (42656)
• Germany
4 Jan 16
I'm impressed!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@MALUSE Then I am honoured!
1 person likes this
@maggs224 (1708)
• Alicante, Spain
10 Jan 16
@jaboUK Oh wow you have impressed @MALUSE no wonder you feel honoured because you don't see that every day do you lol...
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
10 Jan 16
@maggs224 Lol - hardly ever!
1 person likes this
• Greece
4 Jan 16
Great one but bad timing - my husband called me 'chubby' yesterday and I missed the chance to bite him! Poetic licence works well which is more than I can say for my try at a limerick, so far I have not produced anything except the desire to do it.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@41CombedaleRoad Lol - show your husband this poem - he might realise how lucky he was that you didn't retaliate like the girl here. Keep trying with the limericks. See if you can finish the last line: There was a nice lady from Greece Who was nowhere near to obese, Her man said she was But that was be'cos ?????????????
2 people like this
• Greece
5 Jan 16
...he was one who was likely to tease. And after a night of jargon going through my head here is my first limerick When a guy tells his girl she is fat It knocks her self confidence flat. She should look around 'Til a new guy is found Who loves her curvaceous like that. @jaboUK
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
5 Jan 16
@41CombedaleRoad Very well done - you see, you CAN do it!
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (11415)
• United States
4 Jan 16
Your limerick is hilarious! These guys better watch who they're calling fat!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@creekgirl I'm happy that it amused you, thanks. As you say, they'd better be careful
1 person likes this
• Mumbai, India
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK Yeah, be careful, all the healthies may strike at the same time.. :P
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (11415)
• United States
4 Jan 16
@ivyparkgirl I think we all have things about ourselves we're not crazy about.
2 people like this
• Midland, Michigan
6 Jan 16
I was trying to work one of your words out on my mental tongue and couldn't quite get it to come out correctly when I happened upon your line about 'grammatical' After that I quit trying. I love how your poetry, of whatever type it happens to be, jusb about always brings out something similar from Koalemos.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
10 Jan 16
@MarshaMusselman I missed this comment, sorry Marsha - this comment system here leaves a lot to be desired. Yes it's great when Koalemos responds 'in kind'.
1 person likes this
• Midland, Michigan
11 Jan 16
@jaboUK Not a problem, we have a lot to keep up with especially once they get hidden under the group that says 'show more comments'. I lose many for a bit in those locations.
1 person likes this
@marlina (76666)
• Canada
3 Jan 16
You have quite a good imagination. Congratulations, well done again.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@marlina Thanks, sometimes my imagination does run riot
1 person likes this
@marlina (76666)
• Canada
4 Jan 16
@jaboUK Nothing like an imagination working full blast!
1 person likes this
@maggs224 (1708)
• Alicante, Spain
10 Jan 16
So many comments and threads, I am going to have to learn to come early to your limericks lol... Still if I did come too early I would miss so many incredible comments and I wouldn't want to do that. You know already what I think, you just keep on getting better :D
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
10 Jan 16
@maggs224 Thanks Maggs, you know I always appreciate your comments.
@garymarsh6 (14367)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
Haha I remember coming home from a party many years ago a bit tipsy and my wife saying to me aren't you getting fat. I said to her I may be fat but I am not ugly and then fell on the floor laughing. She never spoke to me for three days.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
At least you didn't actually come out with Winston Churchill's famous line - or did you??
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (25839)
• United States
4 Jan 16
Job well done. You have once more entertained us.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@Tampa_girl7 To entertain was my aim, thank you.
@rebelann (42442)
• El Paso, Texas
4 Jan 16
too funny .... perhaps he should buy her a mirror that makes her look slender
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 16
@rebelann Yes there are those fairground mirrors that would do the job
1 person likes this