Yummy Mummies.

@xFiacre (10391)
Ireland
January 8, 2016 12:45pm CST
The Ladies who lunch in Belfast South and who appear to do little else have all gotten pregnant it seems, and they have produced the next generation of little ladies who lunch, and when the men they live off go out to the office each morning and the maid arrives to clean up after them they park their 4x4s in a long wiggly line outside one of the normally tranquil cafes on the Lisburn Road (Upper) where I like to presence myself on a cold winter’s morning; then they enter in a fog of Chanel number whatever along with their non-disciplined brats. Now I know that was a very long sentence, but sitting here at a table in the middle of their posh mess I have to either spill my rising ire out on the page or turn round and express myself to their faces in what I fear would be a most intemperate manner. Moreover, when I use the word “park” I do so with caution, aware that I may well be guilty of conveying an inaccurate image of neat alignment within clearly marked, generous spaces provided for the purpose. A more accurate word would be “approximate”. They approximate their cars in the general atmosphere of a car park. Yes it’s a bad morning at the office or cafe, whichever you prefer to call it. But they are really very nice ladies; I know some of them quite well, but our child rearing views are rather divergent and there is no way that I would ever have allowed any child of mine do what I’m just watching a little girl doing a few yards from where I’m sitting and I’m going to have to look away or end up in court accused of assault. But the sun is shining, and its sharp yellow rays are falling on a thin tinsel of frost that makes Belfast look like an expensive, diamond-studded negligee thrown carelessly on a bedroom floor in anticipation of a night of earth-moving passion, and I don’t really know where I’m going with this so I think I’ll park it here and go and find another cafe to sit in and some other people to find fault with.
10 people like this
7 responses
@WorDazza (8516)
• Manchester, England
8 Jan 16
I think you've approximated this discussion rather than parked it. Your 'parking' description is an absolute joy to read!!
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (90274)
• Marion, Kansas
8 Jan 16
We have broad shoulders and wicked imaginations. Many of us know the frustration of undisciplined generations invading our quiet and comfortable space.
3 people like this
• United States
8 Jan 16
I don't understand how people let their children behave badly when in public
2 people like this
@sallypup (20874)
• Moses Lake, Washington
8 Jan 16
Sunshine, frost, bratty kids, lingerie and lace. That's a heady explosion.
2 people like this
8 Jan 16
It seems to be very popular, this coffee shop yummy mummy group ... Every town has one. They can be quite intimidating for the childless woman who just wants a morning cuppa in peace.
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (10391)
• Ireland
8 Jan 16
@poppylicious Quite intimidating also for the man with 5 brats of his own!
2 people like this
@pgntwo (21529)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
8 Jan 16
The barista must be a rough, rugged type, is he?
@xFiacre (10391)
• Ireland
8 Jan 16
@pgntwo A tasty bit of rough I'm told.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (114391)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Jan 16
Well, the sun is shining. You do have that to be thankful for. Takes all kinds to make this grand world we live in.