My boyfriend drives me crazy..what do I do?
@buttheadface932 (708)
United States
January 15, 2016 5:44am CST
I feel very confused. I want to stay in the relationship but he drives me crazy. I often feel like I can't have an opinion or suggest things. He criticizes everything. He tries not to, but he's such a judgmental person in general. He can be sort of controlling. He is narrowminded and doesn't respect opposing viewpoints, even after they've been well expounded on. He guilt trips me. I feel like just giving up, just to find some harmony.
Should I shut this down? I am not good at "moving on". I am also almost 40, with very little romantic experience. I don't think there is much more hope for me out there. 
6 people like this
5 responses
@buttheadface932 (708)
• United States
15 Jan 16
Thanks Marlina. I find it very difficult right now. 
@buttheadface932 (708)
• United States
15 Jan 16
Thanks Jabo. I had thought we were soulmates.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64362)
• United Kingdom
15 Jan 16
@buttheadface932 Just remember a bad relationship is far worse than no relationship.
1 person likes this
@topffer (42156)
• France
15 Jan 16
@buttheadface932 It does not sounds good, but I read in one of your others comments that he has also some good points. You should weight the good and the bad, and discuss about it with him before taking a decision.
1 person likes this
@buttheadface932 (708)
• United States
15 Jan 16
The more I think of it, I am not sure if he does anything for my sake. He just sort of expects a lot from me.
1 person likes this
@buttheadface932 (708)
• United States
15 Jan 16
I am willing to make the decision to be #foreveralone, because I'd rather die alone than be miserable with having the benefits of having someone.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
15 Jan 16
You've said lots of negative stuff about him...what about the positive?
Is there any and if so does it outweigh the negative.
Also no matter how old you are I don't think it's a good idea to stay with someone through fear of the unknown or being left on the shelf.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
15 Jan 16
@buttheadface932 do you love him though?
i've known loads of people that are in what I'd term as disfunctional relationships but they love each other and that one thing keeps them together.
I'd say do some serious thinking and if the bad outweighs the good maybe think of moving on.
You've not said much about practicalities such as do you live together as this often makes things more difficult.
Relationships are a notoriously hard thing for third parties to give advice on as the dynamics are often hard to understand.
1 person likes this
@buttheadface932 (708)
• United States
16 Jan 16
@Mike197602 Yep! And of course his side isn't being told. But he lumps everything I say into "abuse" anyway..no discussion can be had really..because it's all, 100% my fault all the time.
@buttheadface932 (708)
• United States
15 Jan 16
There is definitely a lot of good, he offers me the type of security that I've always wanted, even though he sometimes suffocates me. He is I think definitely the good person, but rather petty sometimes, and needlessly picky, and relentlessly critical. For example, it is literally *impossible* to have a discussion over anything with him unless it's a topic on which we both totally agree and we joke about. Why- because he will not make me feel supported. I can't even really tell him my deep feelings without him going off on an irrelevant tangent to disagree on a random point. (SUCH an INTJ.) Comedy is a good topic. But everything else? OMG.
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