What do you think about this?

United States
January 28, 2016 1:15pm CST
My uncle died in 2004, once he died, his wife hasn't bothered with us. We don't see his kids, so we pretty much only see them if by chance we run into them. When my uncle was passing away at the hospital my aunt who I never really cared for because she is trouble told me it should have been my mom, because she is older, and my uncle was younger. I thought that was a horrible thing to say, and really had nothing more to do with her anyway. My mom for the longest would go into the store she worked in hoping to see her, but when she did , my aunt would cut her short by not talking. My aunt sold the house moved didn't give us her address or phone number, no surprise about that. It been 12 years and my mom still will talk about them saying she never gets to see her nephews. I keep telling her they are grown now if they want to see you, they know where you live. So my mom ran into my aunts sister, she told my mom that their mother passed away this month. My mom came home all excited she saw the sister and that she asked what is my aunt doing how is she. I stopped her telling her I don't really care what she is doing we don't see her. She was surprised one of my cousins has more kids, I had to remind her time has gone by, no surprise the family is bigger. My mom was bothered by the fact, no one told my aunts mother passed, she liked her. Again my mom hasn't seen her since my uncle passed. Am I wrong to not care what my cousins are doing or how they are? I just feel if they wanted to be in touch they would have. One of my cousins I see every so often, when I run into him . He just says since his dad passed, his mom wants privacy. I have tried to reach out to two of the cousins but they are busy with their families , jobs etc. I wish I could get my mom to stop trying to find my aunt when she is in the store she works in. I wish my mom could really see they just don't want to be bothered. I think seeing my mom reminds her of my uncle, but this aunt was never friendly with the family. If you came over to see my uncle, she would go to bed, or go in another room. I know people have dysfunctional people in the family, but I keep trying to get my mom out of the past of what used to be. To focus on her own family and her other brother who is still alive and his kids. When she talks about the uncle that passed, she talks about things like it was yesterday.
15 people like this
11 responses
@fishtiger58 (30304)
• Momence, Illinois
28 Jan 16
It just takes some people to grieve. Give her some more time.
4 people like this
• United States
28 Jan 16
she still misses him, I know but she is very worried about my aunt and the family that she doesn't hear from.
3 people like this
@fishtiger58 (30304)
• Momence, Illinois
28 Jan 16
@CookieMonster46 Maybe there is a reason you are not aware of.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Jan 16
@fishtiger58 you mean a reason she worries about them? I just think she doesn't understand why we don't hear from them. We really didn't hear from them when my uncle was alive, they have a big family and were always busy, my mom only saw them when she went over to visit my uncle .If his kids were over visiting then she saw them. Otherwise she didn't hear from them or see them, just how it was. Now my other uncle doesn't live here, he tells me when he calls and he won't call often, no matter what he tells her about his kids or grand kids, my mom will flip back telling him oh well when the other brother was here, his kids did that, or when the other uncle was his, his wife did that, He hasn't seen them in years, and he doesn't think about them.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (50131)
• United Kingdom
28 Jan 16
Your mom obviously wants to see her nephews as they are part of the brother she lost.
4 people like this
• United States
28 Jan 16
It is true, but they are in their 20's and have babies and just other activities, they do not come around, If we do run into them, they ask how you been , but never really seem to interested for a visit. Have told them give us a call, they don't, they have all moved , locally but never know where.
2 people like this
@amadeo (46205)
• United States
28 Jan 16
people grieve a long time.Some do and some do not
2 people like this
• United States
6 Feb 16
I think her not talking to you is a good thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 16
oh , I know it is a good thing, she married my uncle she was 15, I think he had just turned 18. She was a real meanie, I was just kid when they married, but she was never nice to me, she wanted my uncle to himself didn't like him around the family. She has done a lot of bad things to a lot of the family, but my mom for some reason, just wants to be a part of her life. My mom used to go to their home I think a little to often,so she didn't like that my mom took up his time so much. My mom went to cook for him while she was at work, so he could eat early , he was in bad health.
@LadyDuck (118631)
• Switzerland
6 Feb 16
I think that you have the right attitude to forget about your cousins, if they do not want to be in touch, there is nothing you can do. I feel sorry for your Mother, but she cannot oblige people to be friendly and stay in touch.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 16
so true, it happens in many families, or even with friendships, people come and go in life.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (14742)
1 Feb 16
I guess its normal for your mom to want to have a link with her brother's family.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 16
For her, I think so, for me, I haven't seen them for so long , I am out of touch with them. This aunt has always been trouble , she lies a lot and I honestly don't miss her.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (57300)
• United States
30 Jan 16
I think your mom misses her brother and any contact is a connection to him. How sad.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 16
it is very sad
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (57105)
• Roseburg, Oregon
29 Jan 16
Yes your mother does need to move on.
1 person likes this
@Platespinner (18073)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
28 Jan 16
Family ties are strong, and having them cut in such a way has given your mother more to grieve than just the passing of her brother. A very sad story.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 16
It really bothers her brother that is alive, because she is missing out in what is happening with his family.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (15947)
• Canada
28 Jan 16
It is sad, but she probably will always long for the family that is out of reach.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 16
I know it is really sad, my mom likes to live in the past too, she will drive down the street that her parents used to live on, and talk about old times. Everyone she knew passed away a long time ago, the rest of us do not thing back to those times.
2 people like this
• Preston, England
30 Jan 16
sounds like your uncle's wife is not a very nice person at all