Don't Panic!
By WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
Manchester, England
January 29, 2016 6:27am CST
The BBC website reports that the Royal Navy's most modern warships, the Type 45 destroyers, are to be fitted with new engines because they keep breaking down.
In a world where the UK is public enemy No. 1 to pretty much everyone, including many of its own citizens, is this really something we should be broadcasting? It's tantamount to sending an open letter to the world saying:
"Dear Potential Aggressor,
It has come to our attention that our fleet of modern warships is a little bit broken. While we carry out essential repairs it would be awfully nice of you to refrain from engaging in hostilities with us, particularly hostilities of the naval variety (that's the sea, not the belly button!!!). A few months should see everything tickety-boo once more, at which point we would be delighted to indulge all-comers in a spot of sea-faring fisticuffs.
Should you choose not to be terribly British about this, you should be warned that we do have a contingency plan in place for anyone who thinks it will be an easy task to enter our waters uninvited.
We have engaged the services of the London Mayor, Boris Johnson, who will be patrolling our coastline in a pedalo, armed with a blunderbuss. We would, however, request that you take it easy with Mr. Johnson as his movement is severely restricted by the inflatable rubber ring and arm bands.
Your co-operation in this matter will be greatly appreciated.
Yours hopefully,
Mr. D Cameron (on behalf of Her Majesty's Government)"
That should keep the blighters at bay!!
10 people like this
11 responses
. Very clever post as usual.
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
29 Jan 16
This reminds me of the Congressional hearings we have on everything imaginable. The fools want to broadcast even the most sensitive information to the world. 
2 people like this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
30 Jan 16
@WorDazza True, but wouldn't it be wise to hold private meetings on sensitive matters? I think some of these hearing amount to treason by putting us all in jeopardy.
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21737)
• Canada
29 Jan 16
By the time I finished reading this, I was glad my coffee was finished. It reminds me of Operation Desert Storm...lets have it all televised. Reality TV goes to new heights.
2 people like this
@GreatMartin (23677)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
31 Jan 16
We live in a strange world with strange leaders today and the Internet doesn't help!! :O)
2 people like this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
2 Feb 16
Tee hee! Fisticuffs , love that word. Oh my word, you would think something important like that would be kept under wraps! @WorDazza maybe all the baddies out there are on vacation, or, uhm, they could think it is a plot to lure them in, and then BHAM they are hit with full naval wrath!
1 person likes this
) or the wrath of Boris!!!
