Only child knows nothing about rough housing

@maxen07 (889)
Philippines
February 5, 2016 7:24am CST
Among us four siblings, I'm the only one who has a child. He basically grew up without any cousins or playmates his age. He spends most of his time playing computer games, watching documentaries, DIY videos on YT, reading his books, crafting or drawing anything on paper. He's basically a good kid. The only problem is he doesn't know anything about rough play. My eight-year-old wasn't allowed to play outside on the street because it is not as safe as it used to be so the only time he sees other kids is when he's at school. The kids in class are naturally rambunctious. They're good kids and they like playing with my son but sometimes his teachers would tell me that he cried again. It's the same thing over and over: he'll play with his classmates and next thing you know, he's being punched or kicked lightly. Not really being beaten up, just playful rough housing and my kid would assume that they like hurting him. I kept explaining to him that it's just what kids usually do and that he just needs to get used to those kinds of children. I firmly tell him so many times not to cry whenever something like that happens because crying doesn't solve anything. I should know, I was the same at his age: a sensitive crybaby and I cry when people talk about how chubby I was back then. My siblings are all men but they don't do rough housing at all. We all grew up in front of the computer so we didn't do much outdoorsy stuff since there's nothing much to do in our area anyway. They'd rather spend time watching anime together than play with him and I busy myself with earning what I can on the Internet. I had him enrolled for Taekwondo lessons late last year but he has to stop just when he was about to take a promotion test to get his yellow belt. I couldn't afford it anymore. It worries me so much that he'll get bullied one day and all he could do is cry. My younger brother was bullied a lot when he was in college and almost didn't graduate and I only found out about it when we already graduated. I could've defended him back then. I may be a crybaby when I was young but I grew up and got to the point that I don't have to take people's trash anymore and this also scares me because if someone hurts my child on purpose, I'm not going to be forgiving even if it's another child who hurt him.
8 people like this
11 responses
@jaboUK (53406)
• United Kingdom
5 Feb 16
This is one of the dangers of the computing age - children don't get that joshing and banter that is natural if they play together outside.
4 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
Believe me when I say that I would really prefer that if it was safer for him to be outside. There had been children who had gone missing at the next town and my mother, a city hall employee, knows about it and she was more frantic than I am.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (53406)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 16
@maxen07 Oh my goodness - things were so different when I was a child. We played outside all day, and our mothers didn't even need to check on us. We just came in for meals. It was much the same when my own children were young. Such a shame that it's not safe now.
1 person likes this
@Auntylou (4324)
• Oxford, England
5 Feb 16
Maybe you should get him to bring friends from school home and encourage them to do some friendly wrestling where you can keep an eye to make sure it doesn't get too rough
4 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
They're actually talking about that for awhile now but they can't get to the point whose house they're gonna be raiding first, lol!
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35756)
• United States
5 Feb 16
How sad he has no one to rough house with him, I had an older brother so I know what it was like even though I had no cousins my age to play with there were other children on the block to play with.
3 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
I used to think of the days back when I can't play with my brothers so I went out and found neighborhood kids to play with. It was safe back then so I can be gone for hours. Nowadays, there had been news of children going missing so I told him to stay here instead.
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35756)
• United States
7 Feb 16
@maxen07 It is scary now for a child to go outside and play with friends. I remember when my boys were young they could be gone for hours and we never thought anything of it but now it would be worrying. Maybe you could arrange some play dates at your home or someone else's home so he would have more interaction with other children.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (56661)
• Philippines
6 Feb 16
We need to protect our child at all cost. But we should be not overprotective. It should be balance.
3 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
I know which is why I keep telling him to understand his classmates instead. He didn't grow up rough playing so he needs to learn that it's a normal thing for kids his age.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (61635)
• India
6 Feb 16
Children having no one to play with become adults overnight. I have seen that happening as they are always with adults around.
3 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
That's so true! My son can talk about stuff that interests him now like Egyptology, Japanese language and it's written language, the videos on YT that he watches like Demolition Ranch and Man-At-Arms, Minecarft and Legend of Zelda. His previous teacher told him to talk about those things with her instead because his classmates can't understand him. Just this morning, he told me that he didn't want to go to Harvard anymore because of the list of things that made it into one of the dangerous universities in the US. He was browsing and found the article himself while I was making breakfast. I jokingly told him to research Yale if it's in the list and later he told me that he'll be going there instead, lol! He's 8 by the way.
1 person likes this
@DWDavis (10774)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
5 Feb 16
Is there a Cub Scout Pack in your area? It might benefit your son to be part of a Scouting group.
3 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
I've been wanting for him to join the Boy Scouts but his school does not appear to host one and if there's one, it's not an all-year thing like in the states.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (12051)
• Singapore
6 Feb 16
I think you should teach your son the reality of life in a real world and how to take care of himself. He should be able to have friends with similar interests so that he feels more comfortable; teachers can also keep an eye and help when needed. It is better for the parent not to get directly involved in his outside activities including at school - siva
2 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
Yes, I do actually. I always talk to him and remind him that sometimes he needs to learn how to deal. I'm basically aware that he wasn't being bullied and that he's merely a sensitive child. He still plays with his classmates and they play with him also. What was happening is like a broken record that keeps repeating but I know that he just needs to get used to rough play.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (12051)
• Singapore
7 Feb 16
@maxen07 I used to tell my son - I will be there if he needs me, last resort, but he should find comfort by himself - siva
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (99840)
• United States
6 Feb 16
Our son is our only child, the only grandchild and the only nephew on my side of the family. We made sure that our home was the home where the kids played. Every weekend my son and his friends would hang out in our basement recreation room. Because we opened our home to those friends of his, those guys became like brothers. They were not the type of guys to rough house, but were artistic guys and guys who also love video games. My son recently got married and the guys my husband and I called "the boys in the basement" stood up with him at his wedding. If you can find kids who have the same interests as your son, then open your home to him and he will form bonds with those guys and they will all stand up for each other in times of trouble.
2 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
When I was pregnant with him, that's one of the many things I planned for my boy, that he could have as many friends as he like to come to our house to just hangout. Unfortunately, although he did made some among the neighborhood kids when he was younger, it's now safe now because there was news of children going missing at the next town. He's an only child and believe me when I say that my mother is more paranoid than I am. The street my childhood friends used to go to is now deserted even after school. It's not safe anymore. He did talked about it with his classmates but they couldn't decide whose how to go to first, lol! I'm still waiting for them to come to a decision.
1 person likes this
• Greece
6 Feb 16
Can you not form some relationships with other women with children the same age as your son. Perhaps a sociable get together with them and their children would be a good place for your son to learn about the rough and tumble of kids with you around to keep an eye on things.
2 people like this
@maxen07 (889)
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
Unfortunately, I'm the only one among my small circle of friends who has a child. And I earn from the Internet so I'm basically spending most of my time at home. I myself don't get to just spend time out as much as I wanted.
1 person likes this
@alchemistrx (2577)
• Philippines
6 Feb 16
Our times are different. I was once bullied and i fight back against that boy when we were playing in our school. when computers were not in the picture.It's so important that children of today experience social interaction in the real world so as to know how to deal with problems in life.
2 people like this
@Auntylou (4324)
• Oxford, England
8 Feb 16
Maybe you will be able to earn enough to put him back in his Tae Kwondo class