"PETA protests shameless exploitation of animals in Super Bowl"

By JJ
@JolietJake (29657)
Olney, Illinois
February 8, 2016 5:37am CST
Killing pigs to make footballs is only one of the two major points raised by PETA in their annual outrage over the Super Bowl. This year, they also directed their wrath towards the Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos. "It is totally outrageous and beyond belief that animals would be used in the names of these teams" said an unnamed source. "These animals are being shamelessly exploited by the NFL in their mad grab for money from the unknowing American public. Animals don't play football, and millions of unwitting Americans tuned in yesterday to see a fight between wild horses and jungle cats, which of course, was never shown. These names, and others like them, such as the Livingston Seagulls, are merely 'bait' to catch the public unaware and get them to tune in to their sporting events, hoping to hook the unsuspecting viewers into waiting for the advertised animal battles." Speaking on conditions of anonymity, the member then went on into a mostly garbled, fuming and shouting tirade about Life, The Universe, and Everything. Meanwhile, John Q Public, head of the other PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) continued to watch the game and eat Buffalo Wings, another misnomer that the first PETA is strongly against, since buffalo don't have wings. (This has been an unofficial report from 109.9 - FM WEED)
8 people like this
5 responses
@Platespinner (14699)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
8 Feb 16
The answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is 42. It has nothing to do with animals (well, except for mice of course). Dang it all, now I want to go read that series again!
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (29657)
• Olney, Illinois
8 Feb 16
The best 5 book trilogy there is!
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
8 Feb 16
@JolietJake It's pretty clear that writer's sometimes have problems with very simple math. There have been a few trilogies over the years that prove quite clearly that some authors just can't count. I still want someone to provide my kindle with a Don't Panic screen!
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (29657)
• Olney, Illinois
8 Feb 16
@Platespinner ...and a towel
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (91211)
• Switzerland
8 Feb 16
Did they protest against "Sitting Bull" too, of course while eating Buffalo wings and Rocky Mountains oysters.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (29657)
• Olney, Illinois
8 Feb 16
Oh yes, they held protests against Sitting Bull, Deer-Who-Run-Like-Fox, Woman-Who-Squawk-Like-Vulture, and many other Native American names
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (91211)
• Switzerland
8 Feb 16
@JolietJake I suspected that.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (83898)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Feb 16
PETA (the one against cruelty to animals) don't do themselves a lot of good with their ridiculous claims.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (29657)
• Olney, Illinois
8 Feb 16
This isn't real, of course, but it resembles many things I have seen PETA say
• Marion, Ohio
8 Feb 16
I could see them complaining about something like that. I am a member of P.eople E.ating T.asty A.nimals lol
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@celticeagle (102358)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Feb 16
These people have to have something to spout off about. It is entertaining.
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