Just to get a cell phone...

By JJ
@JolietJake (34295)
Olney, Illinois
March 11, 2016 4:41pm CST
Ol' BillyJoeJimBob, he ain't the brightest bulb in the room...or the house...heck, the whole town, for that matter. Seems he got busy here last month drinkin' and plumb fergot t' pay the bill for his mobile phone. Since he doned spent up this month's welfare check in advance (bouncin' all them other checks drinkin' like he does) he was just gonna have to do without one. Anyway, I read in the paper this mornin' he was in jail (yet again). So I moseyed on downtown and paid him a visit to see what the heck he done this time. Turns out he threw a brick through the sheriff's living room window. I asked him, I said "Boy...why the heck did you do that? Was ya drunked up again?" He allowed as how no, he weren't drunk, it was all part of a plan to get a phone. So I asked him how gettin' throwed in the slammer was gonna get him a phone. And he told me. He said each and every cell there has a phone on the wall, and he figured since he couldn't afford to pay for his mobile, he'd just use a cell phone this month. I told ya he weren't very bright...
13 people like this
12 responses
@GrannyGee (1781)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Mar 16
This can't be true ... right? :)
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (34295)
• Olney, Illinois
11 Mar 16
I've been tellin' stories about ol' BillyJoeJimBob off and on for a few years, he's totally imaginary
1 person likes this
@GrannyGee (1781)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
12 Mar 16
@JolietJake :) I am a newbie ... so, I'll know that now! :)
1 person likes this
@GrannyGee (1781)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
12 Mar 16
@JolietJake Yes ... I do forget in writing that I can use them Thank you ... I do like them better because they add color ... personality. Maybe I won't forget now.
1 person likes this
• Lakewood, Colorado
11 Mar 16
HA! I guess that makes a whole lot of sense JJ.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (34295)
• Olney, Illinois
11 Mar 16
'bout as much sense as anything that fool does I'd say
1 person likes this
• Lakewood, Colorado
12 Mar 16
@JolietJake Not a place Id be going to use the telly phone lolz
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (34295)
• Olney, Illinois
12 Mar 16
@TiarasOceanView You can only call out collect, and it's unbelievably expensive for the person you call
1 person likes this
@yukimori (8513)
• United States
12 Mar 16
I tried to get one of those cell phones once. Turns out cells are rather insular communities... and they've got that darn selectively permeable membrane to keep pesky intruders like yours truly out. I wasn't desperate enough to go that route, though... I just picked up one o' them TracFones instead.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (34295)
• Olney, Illinois
12 Mar 16
I personally hate the things, but it seems you're almost legally required to have a phone with you at all times now...leastways that's how some people act...
@yukimori (8513)
• United States
12 Mar 16
@JolietJake No kidding. I got in the habit of leaving my old flip phone home because some moron keeps giving my number out as hers, and now my boss is giving me grief because I left my new phone at home when I went to pick my daughter up at the zoo...
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (88084)
• Bunbury, Australia
11 Mar 16
A likely story I say.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (34295)
• Olney, Illinois
11 Mar 16
You'd have t' meet 'im...he ain't right, I'm tellin' ya
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (88084)
• Bunbury, Australia
12 Mar 16
@JolietJake Does it take one to know one? No offence intended - well, maybe only a little.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (48862)
• United Kingdom
12 Mar 16
I like the way you use (or abuse?) the language in this. I could have been in one of those old time Westerns.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (34295)
• Olney, Illinois
12 Mar 16
I used to do it even better (worse?) but some users actually couldn't get what I was saying, they didn't speak 'hillbilly'
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (86231)
• Marion, Kansas
11 Mar 16
Well I'll be hornswoggled. I did not know that I could get a private phone in a cell. Looks like I might be needing a reservation.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (34295)
• Olney, Illinois
11 Mar 16
Yeah, heck, I had me a cell phone back in the mid-80's
@nanette64 (11274)
• Fairfield, Texas
12 Mar 16
Oh lord @JolietJake , I'm laughing so hard it's a good thing I don't have to pee right now. Now THAT'S a good one.
1 person likes this
@much2say (32001)
• United States
12 Mar 16
So many are prisoners of their own device . . .but well . . . seems BillyJoeJimBob's got his own "cell" phone in his prison!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Mar 16
wow, just for the phone, he love his phone like a wife, huh
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (48170)
• Centralia, Missouri
12 Mar 16
oh the puns! Guess he get's lodging with his phone too, heh
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (109433)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Mar 16
The month is nearly half through. He'll make it. Might miss a gig invite or two though.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (20043)
• United States
12 Mar 16
love it. You are very amusing.
1 person likes this