How do you help a friend, if you find her/his husband/wife cheating their relationship?

@ida123 (6284)
Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
March 12, 2016 11:10pm CST
Our Sunday routine is going to the church early in the morning and attend the Holy mass. I saw our neighbor's wife also there but I didn't notice that she was with someone, I just saw her there with 3 boys sitting beside her and she didn't notice me because I was at there back. When the priest said, peace be with you, the boy kisses her but I ignored it, maybe he must be a relative to her. After the mass ended, me and my husband went to the wet market to buy some fresh fish, fruits and veggies there. I saw also our neighbor's wife there, she walks with the boy holding each other and this time, she saw me and my husband. Before we went home, she approached us that, if possible not to talk to his husband and relatives of what we saw. I just nod my head. When I reached home, I open my store and my first customer was the husband of that girl I saw in the church. I asked him if her wife already came home and he nods his head. When his about to go home, I told him to make some investigation about her wife, make some query to their friends because I heard something fishy about her wife and he smiled me and said thank you. I can't say directly to him of what I saw and I felt sorry for him. How about you friends, how do you help an innocent husband/wife about what you've found out?
14 people like this
15 responses
• United States
13 Mar 16
I am sorry you had to witness that. It is strange her husband did not get furious or upset when you suggested him to investigate his wife. I wonder if he knows already?
4 people like this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
I just learned from the sister in law of the girl, the husband was already informed by her sister about her extra marital affair.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Mar 16
@ida123 I hope the husband will be okay. Since he was very nice to you by thanking you ~ it seems like he knew.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
@infatuatedbby He heard it from other neighbors and was also advise to make some investigation, so he already knew it.
1 person likes this
@AkoPinay (10823)
• Philippines
13 Mar 16
I don't know what to do
2 people like this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
It's really hard to help him because I think this man is so martyr or I can't describe him.
@SIMPLYD (75303)
• Philippines
15 Mar 16
I would frankly tell him what i saw . Maybe he will believe me , because i am not one who is good at gossiping .
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
15 Mar 16
Ha, ha, I'm not good also in gossiping but he hides only his temper but when his 2 boys reported it to the dswd office, and the said office asked the barangay office to summon the parents and they patched up, the wife promised to the kids not to leave them anymore and also promise to the husband not to indulge to another man.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (75303)
• Philippines
15 Mar 16
@ida123 That's good then . And i hope the woman will really change for the sake of the kids . The man too should try to regain the love of the wife. You know my dear , i am so proud of myself , because God knows i am faithful to my husband always .
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
15 Mar 16
@SIMPLYD That is good friend, we should be faithful always and ask God's guidance and help that we can get away from temptations.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (46692)
• Philippines
13 Mar 16
Well, I had also a friend with the same scenario. I didn't say anything since she and her husband do the same thing. Then they figured out to start all over again and moved to another country.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
Good that they moved to another country to hide the embarrassment. My neighbors here, I think the husband just ignored her wife's infidelity.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (46692)
• Philippines
13 Mar 16
@ida123 I am not sure why the guy is ignoring it. Let them find the way to resolve it.
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
@Shavkat The husband's siblings got mad and they knew it already, since then the wife is not doing good to their marriage. I hope, they can resolve it because I pity their children.
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (8322)
• Toronto, Ontario
14 Mar 16
Well I wouldn't say much and let them find out on there own- you could even have not gotten it correctly. Wait and see for sure.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
14 Mar 16
Their mess were already patch up this afternoon because they were summon by our barangay captain due their 2 sons reported to the barangay that their mother was lost since last night 'til this morning and the boy admitted that they were lovers since last month, gladly, the husband forgive the wife.
1 person likes this
• Toronto, Ontario
14 Mar 16
@ida123 Wow she may find it difficult not to see him anymore. Going to church should help.
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
15 Mar 16
@MarymargII I really can't imagine why she did that, inside the church. Maybe, you're right with your conclusion that she may find it difficult to see this man.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (37892)
• Philippines
14 Mar 16
that is so inconsistent of the wife to go to church to the public viewing of everyone considering that the neighborhood knows she is a married woman to another. If I were you, I will verify, affirm, and confirm if indeed those 2 were lovers, because it is not right to just jump into conclusions about what we see the very first time. maybe the woman is playing pranks?
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
14 Mar 16
They're not playing pranks friend because this afternoon, the husband, wife and the boy were summon in the barangay office due their 2 sons make a report to the barangay that the mother was not coming home last night 'til this morning, she was with that boy I saw in the church and the boy admitted that they were lovers since last month and good the husband forgive her wife.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (37892)
• Philippines
14 Mar 16
@ida123 oh! Is that so? then I think it is still better for the man to personally do the checking or play detective because it is definitely not proper to tell him what you saw or what the wife told you, because that is a family matter. It is also hard to be called a rumor-monger; that might be what the husband or wife will think of when you tell him about it.this is my personal opinion and please don't get offended my friend.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (37892)
• Philippines
15 Mar 16
@ida123 I hope the barangay council has already resolved the situation, my friend. there is a family court, I think, where the Sangguniang Barangay handles situations like this. I hope all things are now resolved.
• Preston, England
13 Mar 16
close community church is often a place where people realize who is having affairs with who and they can be a hotbed of gossip
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
True, because we almost know who are the church goers and who are our members of the church but what they did is not common, kissing instead of making peace with one another.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
13 Mar 16
@ida123 they should know their activity is drawing attention and reaction, it's inevitable
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
@arthurchappell Yes, it seems they are not in the church.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (62110)
• Banks, Oregon
13 Mar 16
That's a tough situation to be in. I am not sure how I would tell them.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
Yes,that is true, it's so hard to tell him frankly but it seems the husband knew it already but his only trying to cover the wrongdoings of the wife.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
13 Mar 16
@ida123 I would avoid getting involved and just stay out of the situation as much as possible
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
@arthurchappell What I did is just an eye opener to him and I just know that he knew it through his siblings.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33700)
• Philippines
13 Mar 16
a will take a step back, and i tell about the cheating in the right time :(
www...i
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
The sister of the husband has already informed him about the illicit activities of her wife and the wife is so lucky to have a husband that can easily be fooled by her wife, the sister and other members of the family got mad to the husband.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33700)
• Philippines
13 Mar 16
@ida123 what? oh my, sigh
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
@Lucky15 Yes, she's so lucky to have a husband like him.
• Philippines
14 Mar 16
Maybe some partners actually allowed cheating on their spouse or partners. He just smiled probably because he allowed it. if not then it would devastate him.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
14 Mar 16
I think no husband nor wife allows their partners to cheat but I think he ignores her wife wrong doings because he doesn't want to lose her wife.
@kaka135 (13483)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 16
I might just choose to keep quiet and not say anything. I just don't think I should say anything as this is their marriage.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
14 Mar 16
For me, I can't tolerate this kind of doings so I have to find ways that the innocent person will know or must know before it's too late or he/she has the right to know so that he/she can find remedies to save the marriage.
@LadyDuck (121496)
• Switzerland
13 Mar 16
From what you say, I conclude that the husband already knew everything. I think that the best is to stay away from that woman.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
Yes, we already did that because we don't want our relationship as good neighbors be broken, we want peace and harmony.
1 person likes this
• Delhi, India
13 Mar 16
Most of the times, we come up with the suggestion not to interfere in anybody's life. We really dont know if we suggest them to come out of such a relationship, we never know where it leads them to.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
Sometimes we'll consider the situation if the suggestion you give can lead them to good or bad ending but trying to be silent, I can't do because I can't take it to my conscience, that somebody was being treated unfair.
@Tampa_girl7 (21621)
• United States
13 Mar 16
You were in an awkward situation.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Mar 16
Yes, I am because if I won't tell his husband, my conscience will keep on bothering me.
@rakski (2585)
• Philippines
15 Mar 16
I would never want to be put on that situation but I guess, I will tell the truth of what I saw. It is just sad that you witnessed it all