Photo Proof – The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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People doubt the existence of The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSG) but here he is in all his Pastafarian glory. Ramen! I didn’t invent the FSG. It owes its invention, or rather its discovery, to Bobby Henderson, a US atheist who promoted its ideology in 2005 as a backlash to Christian creationists who were demanding that their anti-Darwinian teachings be taught in school science classes in Kansas. Henderson declared that his beliefs in the FSG therefore also merited inclusion in the curriculum. FSG teachings suggest that the universe is the creation of an invisible flying Spaghetti Monster with meatball eyes, stretching his noodle appendages across the universe and touching us all. Henderson claims that the FSG beliefs were secretly promoted throughout history by pirates and that as piracy was suppressed on the seas, FSG teachings were forgotten, and global warming increased too. Critics see this as an unlikely coincidence. Henderson’s original letter to the Kansas creationists was posted on the Internet where it was picked up on as a spoof religion by various adherents who added their own FSG theories and took up every opportunity to dress as pirates in doing so. My FSG effigy is not made of spaghetti or meatballs but a discount store dog toy wrapped in thousands of hand crafted elasticated rubber bands and stuck on a brush handle. He travels with me when I go pirating – parroting FSG theory, aaarrr! There are rival theories to those of the FSG pastafari. One school of thought takes Bertrand Russel’s notions of an invisible pink unicorn to be the true faith instead and promote it as ninjas rather than pirates. Some say the apocalypse will come of a clash between the two mighty deities and their armies / navies of pirates and ninjas. I will be there with the pirates, Jim Lad. Aaarrrr! Arthur Chappell