Taking Dad for a Drive - Well, His Tombstone Actually

@JudyEv (126232)
Bunbury, Australia
March 19, 2016 1:28am CST
We have just got back from a trip to our home town. My mother died about eighteen months ago and we need to get her details added to the headstone which currently only holds information about Dad. So, with great difficulty, we loaded the headstone on the trailer and brought it home. On Monday we'll take it to the monumental masons in Bunbury to have the necessary work done. The tombstone is exceptionally heavy and trying to get it on the trailer was very difficult. My brother helped but is totally blind so it was all a bit tricky. I think the reverse process will be easier. I am hoping so. We have given quite a bit of thought to putting it back in place and it shouldn't be quite so hazardous. We stayed at my sister's house although she was visiting a son and helping with his goats at an exhibition. Although we did miss seeing her, I was able to water her cage-birds and some pot plants for her so it worked out well all around. I guess the return trip will be in a week or two so we'll catch up with her then. And yes, Candy is my maiden name – sweet by name, sweet by nature.
30 people like this
29 responses
@TRBRocks420 (79460)
• Banks, Oregon
19 Mar 16
Sorry about your loss and, hope everything goes better on the return.
5 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
19 Mar 16
Thank you. It is made of marble I think and is very heavy. Edited: It's not marble, it's polished granite but still very heavy.
2 people like this
@garymarsh6 (14263)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 16
When we had my father added to my mothers stone the stone masons took care of everything collecting the stone adding the letters and then replacing the stone! They weigh a ton!
3 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
19 Mar 16
The stone masons will do it but they would charge a lot to collect the headstone and return it whereas this part is something we can do ourselves. But you're right - it weighs at least a ton!
3 people like this
@Morleyhunt (19856)
• Canada
20 Mar 16
@JudyEv when my children were small, my three year old knocked over a headstone. I thought I would just set it back up, now I'm no weakling, but I could not budge that sucker.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
@Morleyhunt I am very surprised a three-year-old could knock one over! Maybe he/she could have put it back!
2 people like this
@Shavkat (63449)
• Philippines
19 Mar 16
It flashes back the sad memories. I also takes good care of my father's tomb.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
19 Mar 16
I think it shows respect to take care of one's parents' grave.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (79896)
• United States
19 Mar 16
Love your name! I noticed it right away. Granite is so heavy, that I'm surprised you had to remove the tombstone yourselves.
2 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 16
I was also amazed that humans could life that tombstone without the help of a machine!
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
@DeborahDiane @DianneN We had a real battle and didn't think we'd be able to manage it for a while. We managed to get it on a sack truck (bag trolley?) and get one end on the trailer. We were able to balance it nearly upright and Vince backed the trailer under it till we were more than halfway under. Once on the trailer we used a crowbar to lift one end and put a piece of pipe underneath then we could roll it to where we wanted it. Not easy but we got there :)
1 person likes this
@DianneN (79896)
• United States
20 Mar 16
@JudyEv That is still backbreaking work. Fortunately, it is done.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (163414)
• Switzerland
19 Mar 16
We cannot take out of the cemetery the tombstone, if we need to add details, we have to ask to the internal monumental masons to do the job. You have such a sweet maiden name.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
We weren't told that the job could be done on site. The nearest monumental masons are in Bunbury, 2 1/2 hours drive from the cemetery. They wanted $1100 just for cartage so we thought we'd do that part ourselves :) Glad you like my maiden name.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (163414)
• Switzerland
20 Mar 16
@JudyEv There are strict rules for the cemetery and tombs both in Italy and here in Switzerland. You cannot take out anything, once it is already set there. This is a shame, I have seen wonderful monuments destroyed after the bones are moved from under the ground to the ossuary.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
@LadyDuck I think our big cemeteries would be much more strict about the removal of headstones, etc.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6247)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
19 Mar 16
Your maiden name is sweet and I know you're also sweet by nature. Sorry for the loss of your parents.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
@ida123 Yes, it is. She was quite well until the last 18 months I guess.
@fishtiger58 (30337)
• Momence, Illinois
19 Mar 16
That is one huge headstone. Many cemeteries in this area don't allow headstones anymore as they take up to much room. Now a days it's those smaller ones inset into the ground.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
That's interesting because as we left the cemetery we remarked on how big many of the newer tombstones were. Ours would seem very moderate here. Some are three or four foot high and quite ornate. Some cost $8 - $10,000 which really seems a waste. Mum chose Dad's and we were happy with it. Space is becoming an issue here too and many are opting for cremations and a little plaque in a rose garden or something similar.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (30337)
• Momence, Illinois
20 Mar 16
@JudyEv Yes 10 thousand for a headstone is excessive in my opinion. My husband and I have chosen cremations
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (19856)
• Canada
20 Mar 16
We need to go and select the writing for my mother's tombstone soon.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
They charge per letter. This is really quite a simple headstone but still cost quite a lot of money.
@Lucky15 (33753)
• Philippines
19 Mar 16
A i know why you are sweet...indeed sweet
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar 16
Thank you. That is a kind thing to say. :)
@valmnz (12756)
• New Zealand
19 Mar 16
I like the thought of your taking your father , and soon your mother as well, for a drive like that
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
I originally called it 'Taking Dad For a Drive' but it caused too much confusion. People aren't used to my sense of humour I guess and I wondered if it seemed a bit disrespectful so I changed it. Mum (and Dad) would have thought it very funny. Glad you enjoyed the joke too.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54492)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 16
lol about the Candy. That was quite a project moving that.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
Many people called my mother simply 'Candy' and she liked it. It was quite a project. For a while I didn't think we were going to be able to manage it.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
19 Mar 16
quite arduous work but obviously of immense emotional value to you all - hope it works out well
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
Thank you. Once it is done and back in place our dues will have been paid I guess.
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (11805)
• Philippines
19 Mar 16
Taking that heavy tombstone/plot at home can be very tedious indeed! But it shows (your effort) your great love for your parents.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
19 Mar 16
Thank you. We are looking forward to it all being sorted.
@Ronrybs (7392)
• London, England
19 Mar 16
Looks like you'd need a crane to move it
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
19 Mar 16
We managed to load it ourselves but really a crane or HyAb hoist would have made things much easier. We've worked out since it weighs about 230 kgs (36 stone) so it was pretty heavy. We won't have to unload it at the masons nor load it once the work is done. But once we get it back at the graveside it will be up to us.
@Juliaacv (31292)
• Canada
19 Mar 16
I didn't realize that both of your parents are gone, sorry. Here we wouldn't be allowed to remove a tombstone from the graveyard. The company would be contacted to come out and do the work on-site. And yes, sweet by nature!
2 people like this
@gudheart (12746)
19 Mar 16
So sorry to hear you lost your parents :( Nothing worse than losing a loved one.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
Thank you. They had had a good innings as they say. Mum was 104 so you couldn't wish it on her to stay longer.
@rebelann (41936)
• El Paso, Texas
20 Mar 16
A labor of love .... I hope you have it easier when you return. I really like your maiden name.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
We have already been thinking about how we can make it easier to unload.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (41936)
• El Paso, Texas
20 Mar 16
Maybe if you had a pully system @JudyEv but I've only read about using pulleys and know next to nothing about how to get them to work.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar 16
@rebelann Pulleys are a good idea and we might be able to utilise them in this case. There is always some physics principle that can be used in these sorts of situations - levers, pulleys, etc.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 16
Judy, are your parents buried on your property there? Oh yes I imagine this was very heavy indeed. Sorry for your loss friend. Candy..what a lovely name.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
My parents share a grave in the cemetery in their home town but the monumental masons are the other side of our property in Bunbury. It was much cheaper if we moved the headstone ourselves. Glad you like my name! :)
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Mar 16
@JudyEv Oh I see Judy..I know it is not cheap to move the headstone. Can you believe what happened to my cousin ( who I dont like as it happens ) but I had great compassion for her. She has lost two of her sons. So heartbreaking. One of her sons headstone was vandalized badly and broken, didnt she have to pay lots of money to get him moved..omg I felt so bad for her. Whoever would do such a thing.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar 16
@TiarasOceanView That is terrible. No-one would want that to happen to anyone. Poor soul.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3377)
• United States
19 Mar 16
I did not know you had to lift the tomb stone yourself. I thought they would go to the grave to write the name and date on it.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
Writing on the headstone where it was didn't seem to be an option. It was never suggested to us. The nearest company was 2 1/2 hours drive away and they wanted a small fortune to drive to the town and pick up the headstone. So we decided we'd deliver it to the stone mason.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3377)
• United States
20 Mar 16
@JudyEv Oh wow...I did not realize it was that far away. I bet that would cost a lot to get them to come there to write on the stone.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
@slund2041 They wanted $1100 so we thought we might as well save that money.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 16
I would assume someone goes tot he cemetery to add the names...It would make more sense that way.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
The option was never suggested to us. It would be very difficult I think as the tombstone is close to the ground although perhaps they could have tipped it over. Anyway, as I said, it was never suggested. It was a pity that the nearest mason was so far away.
• United States
20 Mar 16
@JudyEv I believe that you bring Mohammad to the Mountain instead of moving the mountain LOL
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (126232)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar 16
@AbbyGreenhill It felt like we were moving a mountain for a while.