How devoted are you in a relationship?

@sugartoes (40725)
Greencastle, Indiana
March 31, 2016 6:04pm CST
How much do you devote your time with your spouse? do you do a lot of stuff together? do you enjoy each other? do you agree with each other or speak your own opinions? do you go to your spouse's doctors appts all the time? How do you spend your time together & enjoy each other? do you cook for each other like one cooks one night & then the other one the next night & does one do all the cooking? do you pamper each other when one is sick & with the chores? When you argue do you agree with your spouse & say sorry? do you shop together & agree with each other on what to buy? do you work together with your problems in the marraige? It takes a lot to have a great happy marraige with a spouse it's a 2 way street it can't be your way or my way it just don't work that way to last, your just fooling your self if you think it does. cause I'm one that can say it don't last long. When me & mine got together we stayed together for 9mos before we thought about marraige & we covered all base's from kids to when we get old together, I don't like surprise's so while we were "courting" living on the truck together, I made a list of things I wanted to get out in the open for us. I can tell you our 1st 4 yrs were bumpy & not sure of if it was a good idea to stay together or leave but god helped us along the way to make the decisions for us here we are 30 yrs later our love is strong & we're happy together We never had a trust issue with each other & him being a truck driver & me being at home that never crossed our minds, when he came home it was just US together no one else money has ALWAYS been a issue but not a deal breaker. Marriage isn't what you can get from each other it's what you can GIVE one another in the marriage to become ONE if your not willing to work with your spouse & be greedy & not trust one another your in for a hard & major FAIL. There's some real GOOD pointers on this video that really make a lot of new relationships get off to a GREAT start as well as a lot of sense to those that need the help in one so I hope you take time to listen to this advice & learn too.
Many of my Blessed1s have asked us to do this video, but more recently, two of my Blessed1s mentioned in text in the video asked us to speak on building a gr...
15 people like this
16 responses
@annierose (17692)
• Philippines
31 Mar 16
I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and things are not easy. We had experienced lots of ups and downs. Because we do not meet each other everyday, we satisfied ourselves with video chats and by always asking one another how is our day and something more like that. When we get together, we cherished every moment. I can say that everytime we meet is always like the first time. The happiest moment I have with him was when he joined me on my first trip abroad. Words are not enough for me to able to express how I felt that time. All I can say is that he made me feel as the luckiest woman on Earth.
4 people like this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
1 Apr 16
@annierose awe that's sweet then maybe things will work out for you both where you can get together & stay together for life we have to learn how to make things work for us if we really want to be happy with the person we love or want to be with for ever. like me & mine I knew he was a truck driver & be gone for weeks but I didn't mind I knew he would be back when he got ready.
2 people like this
@annierose (17692)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
@sugartoes Trust and communication is very important in a relationship. Without trust, love will not grow. Likewise with communication. It is also an important ingredient in a relationship.
2 people like this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
1 Apr 16
@annierose you are SO RIGHT amen to that for sure I agree it takes 2 people to work in a relationship not just one
1 person likes this
@carebear29 (28586)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
31 Mar 16
Love the picture for this post. I been married 13 years on July 8th this year
3 people like this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
31 Mar 16
@carebear29 Conrads are in order you made it past the 4 yr mark to see another 13 + yrs thank you on the comment on the photo I put on here I thought it was a nice one
3 people like this
@carebear29 (28586)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
1 Apr 16
@sugartoes Right. It has been very rough. Going through a bit of a patch again now.
2 people like this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
1 Apr 16
@carebear29 hum, maybe you need to watch the video maybe there's something there that can help you solve what the problem is or maybe I can help you with it who knows?
1 person likes this
@amadeo (65656)
• United States
31 Mar 16
After forty five years being together.This is devoted believe me
3 people like this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
31 Mar 16
@amadeo ha ha ha I guess you got me there huh
@just4him (116780)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
1 Apr 16
I passed on the video. I'm not married. I do agree with all your advice about how to keep a marriage from failing. We were two separate people working against the grain, so it failed. Not that I didn't try. I did for 21 years and then called it quits. It does take two and if one isn't going to do anything to help make a marriage it's doomed for disaster.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
2 Apr 16
@just4him your so right 7 it really makes it hard when you have kids involved in the web of a relationship don't you feel cheated out of the years you spent trying to make it work?
1 person likes this
@just4him (116780)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
2 Apr 16
@sugartoes I feel cheated out of all the years we were married. When I suggested he wanted a divorce he told me it was up to me since he NEVER loved me. That hit me like a ton of bricks, but it was also expected at the same time. It's hard to make something work that never had a start to begin with. The only thing good to come out of my marriage were the kids.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
2 Apr 16
@just4him oh I can imagine how hard that hurt & how you must felt afterwards I'm so sorry you went through that
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3378)
• United States
1 Apr 16
My husband and I do everything together. We worked in the yard together this afternoon. We cook together sometimes, and watch movies together.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3378)
• United States
1 Apr 16
@sugartoes I go to all of my husband's. He goes with me to mine at least once a week. He cannot get out to all of my apts, but he does try to be there at least once a week. I know exactly what is happening with him, and he does know what is happening with me. We are both in bad shape.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
2 Apr 16
@slund2041 well that's a good thing do you both have things in order for in case one goes b 4 the other one you know we all have to be prepared for such things in life as that. that's why I go to all my husbands appts & he goes to mine
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3378)
• United States
2 Apr 16
@sugartoes Yes, we have everything in order.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (19863)
• Perth, Australia
10 May 16
I am very devoted. I do whatever I can to make sure he is happy. If he needs help I always help out. I'm always honest. Never do anything like lie to his face or anything unfaithful behind his back. He says I am the best girlfriend ever which makes me happy.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
10 May 16
@VivaLaDani13 do you mind if I ask how long you been with him??
• Perth, Australia
10 May 16
@sugartoes Over 2 years. :)
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
10 May 16
@VivaLaDani13 oh o.k well yeah you 2 have been together long enough to get to know each other to know what you like about each other but if your thinking marriage I'd wait another 2 yrs
1 person likes this
@zarlamain (24525)
• United States
8 May 16
Many years ago when I was in a relationship with a very intelligent, successful man, I was absolutely in love with him. He was all that I saw and all I could think about. I would call him, text him, meet up with him, eat together, etc. The relationship was going well and I truly felt like he loved me back and our relationship was going to last. And then the next step arrived. Introducing each other to our friends and family. He introduced me to his friends first. They weren't impressed and didn't like me. He fought with them and then he introduced me to his parents. They weren't impressed either and were absolutely against our relationship. It was awkward for us. He didn't know what to say at that point. He tried to make me feel better by telling me that he didn't along with his parents anyway, so their opinions didn't matter. I was feeling down by then. My self-esteem was wrecked and I was convinced we were not going to last because his side was against me. I didn't even want to introduce him to anyone from my side and my family didn't know I was dating him from my side. Some friends knew I was dating, but they had no idea what he looked like or anything else. I didn't even give out his name. Our relationship was falling apart because we both started arguing with each other a lot - pretty much every day we fought after that. I was scared our relationship was really going to fall apart and I wanted to mend it quickly so I told him I would introduce him to my friends and he agreed. However, I got a text from one of his friends who did like me and he said that I shouldn't bother. He was cheating on me with another girl. I confronted him, found out that he was introduced to her by one of his best friends who were against our relationship and started dating her without breaking up with me first. I broke up with him that day and then a week later I heard from that friend who texted me and he said that he was absolutely in love with her and their relationship was working out. I wonder if he got married by now. It was over a decade ago when this happened.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
9 May 16
@zarlamain wow that's pretty mean I think men have no thought into our feelings when it comes to a relationship it's all about what THEY want not what we feel I'm sorry this happen to you I've had my share of relationships that's in the past.
1 person likes this
@zarlamain (24525)
• United States
9 May 16
@sugartoes I know! I was shocked that he cheated on me like that. I thought our relationship was going well and we were finally getting better after some hardships, but he went and started dating another girl simultaneously. Some men are very selfish and only care about how they feel, not how the other person feels. That's okay! I don't even remember his face that well anymore. I've had a lot of relationships in the past as well, but that was the first relationship I poured so many emotions into.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
9 May 16
@zarlamain sugs I've been there & your right they are selfish & heartless, but how is it said there's other fish in the sea don't settle for just one.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (19750)
• Canada
4 Apr 16
After 40 years of marriage we don't spend the time together that we would like.msince my father moved in with us in December it is a balancing act to be alone together for more than just sleeping. We sneak out early so we can go out for a coffee on Sunday mornings before church.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
4 Apr 16
@Morleyhunt wow that don't sound good, what is it that you can't spend time together in your own house too much interference? well at least you can have a sneak off to enjoy each others company at times with out all the interference enjoy it while you can
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (19750)
• Canada
4 Apr 16
@sugartoes my father tends to hide in his room with his computer or a movie, until, my husband comes home for a coffee, lunch, supper, for the night....no privacy ay all. Neither of my parents ever had a concept of personal boundaries. We steal a few minutes, whenever, and however we can. Also he does not like to be alone. I don't need to be in the same room, or even paying any attention to him. I just need to be nearby....if I should leave for an hour, it's good for at least one day of pouting. (I wonder where my children learned to pout?)
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
5 Apr 16
@Morleyhunt ha ha h a wow really? that's just crazy a grown man that don't like to be a lone that's messed up & POUTS when you leave him to go shopping
1 person likes this
@lilnana1111 (2343)
• United States
4 Apr 16
Marriage takes works, but it's worth it, we've been married for 37 years.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
9 May 16
@lilnana1111 yes it does & if your not willing to work for it then things just don't work
1 person likes this
• United States
12 May 16
@sugartoes Exactly!
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
12 May 16
@lilnana1111 sometimes it makes me wonder HOW most the relationships work when the other person just wants to fight & argue all the time & not give in
@TheHorse (65696)
• Pleasant Hill, California
2 Apr 16
I'm totally devoted when I'm in a relationship.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
2 Apr 16
@TheHorse that's the best way to be right? to bring enjoyment to the love of your life?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (65696)
• Pleasant Hill, California
2 Apr 16
@sugartoes I would certainly think so!
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
2 Apr 16
@TheHorse it makes things go a lot better
@Shavkat (62430)
• Philippines
31 Mar 16
I have only two things required for a relationship: respect and honest. I will not be devoted to someone if she violated the importance of respect and honesty in a relationship.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
1 Apr 16
@Shavkat that's 2 of the MOST highest in a relationship but there's more to one as well that's why I placed the video on here to watch to give some extra pointers & ideas & thoughts.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62430)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
@sugartoes I had also watched it. It gives more insights to keep the relationship balance. Thank you for sharing it.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
1 Apr 16
@Shavkat I'm glad I could be of some help to you on this you welcome
@snowy22315 (47081)
• United States
31 Mar 16
i am nof in relationship at the moment..and I don't like it at all. However, I think a healthy balance of couple interests and individual interests should be maintained.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
1 Apr 16
@snowy22315 time will come when you will be in a relationship just don't rush it cause when you do that you end up with a real mess & IT"S NOT what you want to do
@snowy22315 (47081)
• United States
1 Apr 16
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
1 Apr 16
@marguicha (94440)
• Chile
31 Mar 16
I had a great marriage. I was lucky, but thinling about it, we both were.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
1 Apr 16
@marguicha that's what makes things all the better when you both can see things together & become as one
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
2 Apr 16
@marguicha OH flip I'm sorry to hear that
@Marcyaz (35672)
• United States
10 May 16
My marriage was a very happy one and we liked to do just about everything together.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
11 May 16
@Marcyaz since we retired together things in our relationship has changed where it was like one week we were sleeping together & the next week we weren't?
1 person likes this
@euphie (581)
• Ballymena, Northern Ireland
2 Apr 16
I've been single for a while and I've pretty much resigned myself to always being single as it seems so difficult to find someone decent.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
2 Apr 16
@euphie it's not a bad thing just think of all the things you can do with out someone else TELLING you what you can & can't do or having to live with THEIR ways in life & best of all the money you make is YOURS not OURS??
@TRBRocks420 (77390)
• Banks, Oregon
31 Mar 16
I would be completely devoted if I had one.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (40725)
• Greencastle, Indiana
31 Mar 16
@TRBRocks420 well this gives you a chance to learn something before you get in a relationship so you know how to solve things that JUST MIGHT come up