Help them to mend their failing relationship

@ida123 (6290)
Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
April 1, 2016 1:07am CST
My father called me thru landline phone since yesterday, asking me to come home and help to mend the failing relationship of our adopted sibling. I told him that I can't because it's too hot now and you wanted me to fix their troubles. How many times that I help them, mediating them but it's the same problem, so it's better that they'll be the one solve it. I'm fade up to their situation, I hope God will send someone that help them mend their relationship. Friends, am I right of my decision not to help?
13 people like this
17 responses
@SIMPLYD (73925)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
Yes. You have done your part before but still to no avail . Why can't your father do it , since he is at an age where most will obey to what he has to advise .
2 people like this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
He has done his part also but the girl is so hard headed, she won't listen to our advises. My father don't want to stress himself on this case.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (73925)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
@ida123 But if the girl is hard headed then she is stressing your father . She should already be gone from your father's house or else your father will have a heart attack our of stress from her .
2 people like this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
@SIMPLYD That's the reason why I keep on advising them because I'm concern of my father's health. I told my Dad not to meddle their problem so that they'll find a solution to the mess.
2 people like this
@salonga (27961)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
If you think you are not the right person to help them then I trust your decision and yes it is better to just pray that someone else could do that.
2 people like this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
That is what I'm thinking because I've help them many times but still they are not listening to me, so what can I do. I better leave their decision and I think their old enough to make a wise decision for the betterment of their family.
2 people like this
@salonga (27961)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
@ida123 Then I am certain that your decision is right my friend.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (58817)
• Banks, Oregon
1 Apr 16
I don't blame you my friend, it's their problem to fix.
2 people like this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
That is true but I"m helping them many times but still the same, so hands off for me now.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (58817)
• Banks, Oregon
1 Apr 16
@ida123 Yes, that's when it gets frustrating, when they keep repeating the same mistakes.
@AkoPinay (10247)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
No one could help them but themselves. If they don't help themselves nothing good will happen even if we help them.
2 people like this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
Yes, that's what I told my father that no one can help them except them, they have to work for it but if they won't, they have to separate ways.
@rakski (2588)
• Philippines
4 Apr 16
It is hard to mend and fix a relationship that the person him/herself is not willing to fix. Unless they are the one who really ask your help, then it is okay but it seems right now that your father is the one asking for help and your adopted siblings might take it against the two of you later on. I hope in God's time their wounds will heal and find it in their hearts forgiveness, acceptance and love.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
4 Apr 16
That is what we do now, I ask my Dad to leave them and let them find a solution towards their problem because that is family trouble, we can't interfere to their decision and what we did now is to bring our adoptive sibling to a rehab center and the kids and the wife went to her parents house.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
4 Apr 16
@rakski Yes, he is and the wife is a gambler, she plays madjong all the time leaving the kids in my parents house. Even they are matured at age but they are immature in mind. My parents and all of us were supporting them in all their needs, like milk, tuition fees of the children and other needs.
@marguicha (78319)
• Chile
2 Apr 16
If the issue is between parents and daughter, thereĀ“s nothing you can do.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
2 Apr 16
The issue here is between the couple's problem, my father wanted me to mediate the two so that their almost failed relationship might save but there were many times that I give them advises but to no avail, so I leave them to solve it to their own.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (78319)
• Chile
2 Apr 16
@ida123 No one can interfere between a couple
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (55999)
• Roseburg, Oregon
1 Apr 16
Depending on their age they need to take care of their own problems.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
2 Apr 16
Yes, that was I'm thinking. How can they learn if we are always there to help them, it's their decision to continue it or not.
@toniganzon (38631)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
They're adults right? They should know what they're doing. Sometimes when we meddle, we turn out to be the bad guy in the picture. So sometimes, it's better to stay out of it.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
Yes, they're both adults, they're almost 40 yrs, old and I know they know what they're doing if it can make their relationship failed or not.
1 person likes this
@rina110383 (21980)
1 Apr 16
Yes, you just made the right decision. Let them resolve their own issues. They adults and not children who need some guidance.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
That is true but in our family, we have to help each other especially my adoptive sibling, we always see his family needs because he has no work, he takes care of my mother and that's it. But on this matter, I felt mad because they're used to quarrel every now and then and I advise them to hear each other's side or if someone is on fire the other one should mellow down but their not.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (34681)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
yes, it is their relationship so they should deal with it. They are grown-ups anyway.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
That's what I've told my father because he wants me to help the two by giving them advises. Even how many advises we give as long as the 2 parties won't agree with each other, I think they end up to break their vows.
@destimona (1962)
• Luxembourg, Luxembourg
1 Apr 16
I thnk you are right.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
That's my last decision, to leave and let them decide of their life.
@LadyDuck (113095)
• Switzerland
1 Apr 16
Yes, you are right, if you already helped several times, there is nothing more your can do. Now it's up to them to fix their problems.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
@LadyDuck Yes, that is what I did. I fade up in helping them, their very irresponsible persons.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
You never should have help in the first place because they're the ones in trouble with each other and not you. But you were nice and good enough to meddle. Don't bother helping them if they don't want to get along, let them get their own marriage counselor.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
In our family, I'm the mediator but if they won't listen to me, I'll just pass it to my father and in this case, they don't listen to both of us, it's up to them if what will happen to their marriage.
@hereandthere (21869)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
sometimes the most you can do is be a translator. it could be a case of misinterpretation, or people not being able to express themselves.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
That's the only thing that I can do, to be a mediator but if they won't listen to me, it's up to them, they are responsible enough to settle things.
@Yar_Joey (3314)
• Philippines
1 Apr 16
Yes, We cannot fix a relationship if the person refuses our help. We can only give advice but not push them with our own. It will not be your fault if you will not help them or him.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
That is true friend, it's very hard if they, themselves won't help each other, their relationship might end to failure and I can't help it but accept what they agree.
@skysnap (17578)
1 Apr 16
sometimes stepping out of the drama is the best way to help. because often we are not in the right side to solve things.
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
That is my point, it's a family trouble so they better solve it to their own. I did some mediating many times but in vain so it's up to them, if they decided to part ways, their children will be the most affected.
@sol_cee (12990)
• Japan
1 Apr 16
How far can we extend our arms to help?
1 person likes this
@ida123 (6290)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 16
Yes, how far but there's a limit. They're the most involve so they find some ways if not, they'll separate.