Online Dating Sites

@slund2041 (3375)
United States
April 1, 2016 8:19pm CST
I have a friend who is thinking about joining an online dating site. She plans on filling out the profile, and meeting people from there. She is looking for the love of her life and thinks she can find him on a dating site. I am worried she will meet someone claiming to be nice, but is a murderer. I do not want anything to happen to her. Do you think I am paranoid, or do you think I should support her in her new adventure?
11 people like this
14 responses
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Apr 16
Tell her to be careful and trust her instincts. I met my husband online, we have been together 12 years and married for 11 years this month! =) So it definitely can work!
4 people like this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
I have heard stories of people meeting the love of their life online dating sites. I want it to work for her, I am just so afraid she will find a murderer. How long did it take you before you went to his house or he went to yours?
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Apr 16
@slund2041 We were in different states. He moved to my state to be with me and we lived together from the day we met actually. We had fallen in love through phone calls and online chatting.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
4 Apr 16
@LovingMyBabies Oh wow that is a wonderful story. I am glad he was really who you thought he was. I have heard such horrible stories about people posting pictures that are not really them, and all sorts of wild things. It is nice that you trusted him enough to live together the first time you met him in person.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 16
I do not think you are being paranoid, I think you are living in reality. Anything can happen at anytime, anywhere..least this is the way I think of online dating.. People are opening up themselves for perhaps undesirable to say the least. It seems though my friend, that even if you are warning her, she may do it anyway is this the case? I wish her the very best luck sometimes it can work but ....
2 people like this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
I know, she told me that I cannot talk her out of it. I just hope she stays safe.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 16
@slund2041 I do as well slund.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
@TiarasOceanView It sucks to have to worry so much about everybody, but I guess that is just my nature. I hope she knows what she is getting herself into.
2 people like this
@simone10 (21647)
• Louisville, Kentucky
2 Apr 16
I don't think you are being paranoid at all. It's just the way things are these days and you have to be very cautious.
2 people like this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
I am afraid she will not know until it is too late.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
4 Apr 16
@simone10 It is very scary stuff, and I have seen a lot of bad reports like that from watching Dateline.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (21647)
• Louisville, Kentucky
5 Apr 16
@slund2041 It wold make me stop and think before I ever did anything like that.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (55198)
• United Kingdom
4 Apr 16
My sister met her husband online and they are very happy. It can work as long as precautions are taken. If she finds someone she'd like to meet tell her to meet in a public place, with a friend just a phone call away.
2 people like this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
4 Apr 16
I am glad it worked out for your sister. It is good that I posted this here, because now I have heard two positive stories, instead of all negative. Thanks for sharing this with me.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (55198)
• United Kingdom
5 Apr 16
@slund2041 You are welcome. My sister had been a widow for 15 years and was lonely, so she went online and met a lovely chap. They didn't rush into anything, but got to know each other properly over several years. They got married a couple of years ago - they were both in their 70s by then. I wrote a poem about online love (not my sister's), I might put that on here some time.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
5 Apr 16
@jaboUK I would love to read your poem. I am glad your sister was able to find someone again.
1 person likes this
@youless (94397)
• Guangzhou, China
5 Apr 16
I think the bad guys can be available everywhere. Online dating does give people more choices and I think it is alright to have a try when you can not find the right one in your real life. Perhaps at first you just contact with each other by emails, then calls. And if everything goes well, then you can consider to meet each other. You don't have to see each other at first.
2 people like this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
5 Apr 16
You are right, and I hope she will be smart about it.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
5 Apr 16
I agree. Bad people are scattered everywhere and there are some real cases in which a woman get raped by a person she met online. If she really wants to meet his online date, she should not meet him alone. She can ask her group of friends to meet that person just to be safe.
1 person likes this
@youless (94397)
• Guangzhou, China
5 Apr 16
@annierose You are right. Meeting in public will be better.
1 person likes this
@marlina (79738)
• Canada
3 Apr 16
Personally I could not do it, I would be too scared. But I doubt that you can talk her out of it.
2 people like this
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
5 Apr 16
@slund2041 Hum, try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Who knows, she might have a luck looking for someone online that she will love and will love her back truly. But sometimes, love comes when you are not looking for it. That's what happened on me.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
6 Apr 16
@annierose You said that is what happen to you... did you meet the love of your life online dating site?
1 person likes this
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
6 Apr 16
@slund2041 Yes, but it is not from an online dating site. I am very shy to do that. I am happy with my family and friends already. I met my boyfriend in a language site where everyone just want to learn a foreign language.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
2 Apr 16
natural to be nervous - the chances of her date being a total nutjob are slim but most computer dating dates fail
2 people like this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
Why do you think computer dating dates fail more that people who meet from work etc..? I have never heard that most fail, but I have never check the statistics on it either.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
2 Apr 16
@slund2041 too many lie about themselves online especially their established relationship status
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
4 Apr 16
@arthurchappell What do you mean by their established relationship status? You never know who you are really talking to on the end of that computer. It could be anyone, for that matter, a murderer etc.. I feel scared for her, and almost to the point of panic for her.
1 person likes this
@maezee (34026)
• United States
5 Apr 16
I would tell her to be careful. Meet only in publiv places. Online dating is taking over - is becoming super popular at least here. I think you should be supportive but also remind her to be smart and safe . I have met a few people online and I am around to talk about it.
2 people like this
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
5 Apr 16
She should also be cautious because a bad person can still find a way to do something bad if he wants to. I see some movies in which a guy just put some powder on the drinks of the woman and then the woman will feel sleepy until she falls asleep and just woke up in a place she does not know without any clothes on.
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
6 Apr 16
I have noticed myself that online dating is kind of taking over the world now.
@miniam (9232)
• Bern, Switzerland
2 Apr 16
Lol, many people meet online now,she just have to be careful,she can meet a murderer offline just as she can meet him online.
2 people like this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
You are right. We never know who a person really is do we.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
5 Apr 16
I have met 2 men online by the use of a language site. The first one introduced himself to me as a Chinese student. There was a time that he asked me if he can stay in our house if he visits. I said yes to him without thinking of my safety. I also said yes because I thought he was just trying to fool around. We just chatted for 2 months I think and it was not an everyday chat. I only saw him once in camera. When I told my bf that time (who is my ex-bf already) he told me I should not see a person who I just met online for 2 months. My ex bf told me that he might be a criminal in his own country trying to escape and I might put myself in a bad situation meeting him. I got scared and when he asked me to make a letter of invitation for him, I made an alibi that I could not do it. I also said that I could not see him in airport and if he wants, I could just give him my home address. All of those negativities were vanished when he came here and stay in our house for 2 months. His intention of just being with me to practice English is real. We developed a good friendship that I almost treated him as if he was my real brother. The 2nd man that I met online was eventually my boyfriend now. I met him after 5 months of chatting and video calls. I did not date with him alone. He visited me in my university and met also my classmates. As I mentioned on my other comments, I was not looking for love or for a boyfriend when I met him. It was just that it happened all of a sudden that I woke up already in love with him and I did not regret the time I met him in real.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
6 Apr 16
Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. sounds like the last one might work out for you.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
6 Apr 16
@slund2041 Your welcome and thank you too. I hope all goes well with your friend and may she finds what she has been looking for. You are a good friend and she is lucky to have a friend like you.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
6 Apr 16
@annierose I do not think she thinks she is lucky to have me as a friend. She told me I was a pain in the butt, and getting on her last nerve about it. I just want her safe.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (51104)
• United States
2 Apr 16
Some people have success with them, some meet Freddy Krueger. Just tell her to be careful.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
I can you be careful, if you real person doesn't show through right away. I have read an article about this man being all nice and all for three months, and then one night he flipped out on this woman and killed her.
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (51104)
• United States
2 Apr 16
@slund2041 But people are killed more often by people they didn't meet through online dating, they met in person at a job or in the neighborhood...
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
@JolietJake Perhaps they are. I never thought of it like that. I have heard some horrible things about people meeting someone in order to purchase things off of Craigslist. I think a lot of those Craigslist murders has got me afraid of the dating sites too.
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (20866)
• Philippines
2 Apr 16
it's not always love that you find in those kind of sites. just tell her to be cautious.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
Yes, I know it is not always love. I have heard some happy stories from people meeting on those sites. However, I am just terrified.
@MGjhaud (20866)
• Philippines
2 Apr 16
@slund2041 can she not mingle with friends? if you dont mind me asking.. that way she might meet a friend of a friend or a cousin of a friend maybe..
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
2 Apr 16
@MGjhaud I think she could, but she said she is tired of trying to find someone by mingling. She wants to turn her attention to the dating sites now.
@newest1 (297)
6 Apr 16
@slund2041 there are many fake peoples who joined dates sites.. the information of the person is totally fake also profile pic are fake.. so why trust anyone... its useless all time
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
6 Apr 16
I understand and that is what I am worried about for her.
@JudyEv (137664)
• Bunbury, Australia
5 Apr 16
I don't know much about dating sites. Hopefully the people will be screened at least a little bit. I'd be more concerned about someone trying to gain access to any moneys she might have rather than wanting to murder her.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3375)
• United States
6 Apr 16
Now that is another possibility. Dating sites can only screen so much, because people lie about who they really are on those sites.