No Longer Caring Does Not Equal Depression

@noni1959 (3454)
United States
April 14, 2016 11:27am CST
I know depression and I pray for all who experience it. This is about not truly caring about things one used to enjoy and it not equal depression. Lives evolve and new experiences happen. Some simplify and no longer have the wish for new adventures. I am an introvert but had my adventurous side for years. I loved traveling, thrill seeking, dancing at events and just getting out. Now I like to go home and have quiet. Hobbies I used to enjoy no longer tempt me. I'm told I'm depressed. Yes, but not because of that. Even on my happiest days I no longer wish to do some things. I know depression can cause one not to enjoy what they used to but mine is different. I just don't care about some things now. I still like to travel but only once a year. Maybe it's because the last six months I have put on over 20,000 miles running states and I'm tired. Have you evolved? Changed? The only thing I hold steadfast to is my reading. Now it's whatever I feel like or don't.
10 people like this
12 responses
@bounce58 (17526)
• Canada
14 Apr 16
I think in some way you've captured what I am also going through right now. There are a few things that I don't care for anymore, and prefer "quiet" or simple things. Some people view this as depression. Maybe there is a tinge of depression, but not totally.
2 people like this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I have become simple and like it. Some think I'm there because I am in limbo with my job getting me here permanently. It's not. Even when I finally get the permanent move status, I will always have less. I have some depression but no matter what, I will stay simple in material and life. I enjoy it this way.
@tallawah (8731)
• Kingston, Jamaica
18 Apr 16
It is not depression. You just don’t feel like it today. I love chocolate, but gee...right now I want a cup of coffee...I am not anti-chocolate...I just have a choice.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
22 Apr 16
@tallawah I like that...I have a choice. Simple.
@tallawah (8731)
• Kingston, Jamaica
14 Apr 16
The word is not really changed; right now, you are not into it. Put it like this, you live on the beach, you surf every day. After a couple of years you want to do something else. It's like fulfilled.
2 people like this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
That's a good perspective. I live in the mountains and people think camp fires, camping, etc but I just live normal since doing that every day would get redundant.
@tallawah (8731)
• Kingston, Jamaica
18 Apr 16
@noni1959 That’s exactly how I see it...
1 person likes this
@TheSojourner (17450)
• United States
15 Apr 16
I, too, understand depression and change. I also understand just getting damn tired! This is a good reminder article to us all that we don't need to worry about everybody all the time and label them. Oh my God be careful getting a burst of energy! Then somebody will diagnose you with ADHD!
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I was told a few years ago I had adult ADHD since I would "squirrel" during conversations and couldn't sit still. I had to laugh at this. I have been labeled so many things and in my older years I just leave it be.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 16
@noni1959 we live in a society that must label us all the time. I refuse to do that. When I get a label, I say show me the pathology report. Unless I have something that's definitive like that, I do not believe it, as it's merely perception.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
22 Apr 16
@CoralLevang I have a lot of chronic things going on but still push to keep going through the fatigue and pain. Even when I feel depressed I'm told how strong I am and brave. I'm labeled strong and brave which is the furtherest from the truth at this stage of my life. Yet, it makes me feel I have to keep up a front.
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14459)
• United States
14 Apr 16
I've changed drastically from the woman I used to be. I've gotten older. My husband passed away suddenly, and that made me change a lot. My immediate famiy members have passed away. I've had to move into a small apartment and leave my old home behind. I do suffer from depression but I also don't want to socialize the way I used to. I think that, for right now at least, I'm not happy socializing all alone. So I just stay home.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I'm sorry for your loss. In the past I wouldn't go out alone and one day I went to the movies alone. I couldn't get anyone to go. I thought people would feel sorry for me and yet no one cared and I saw many others alone. Now I eat in restaurants alone and even take trips by myself.
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14459)
• United States
18 Apr 16
@noni1959 I have yet to take a trip alone, but it wouldn't bother me. I'm very glad I've learned to do for myself and I learned a long time ago that other people don't even notice if someone is alone. :)
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
22 Apr 16
@CRK109 The first trip I took alone that didn't involve work or meeting up with someone was in 2011. I flew to Kauai and at first wondered what I would do and shouldn't have. It was glorious.
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
14 Apr 16
I understand what you are saying. I used to like going to nightclubs to dance. I not long care to do that. I used to like going to bars after work on Friday nights or Saturday nights. I don't care to do that because I concluded it was a waste of money and involved too much drinking. I enjoy being home.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
When I was younger I loved to go dance on the weekends. I still love to dance but don't like bars anymore. Being home is comfortable. If I want to dance I turn on the radio or find an event for all ages. Some go to bars to forget and I was one of those back then.
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
18 Apr 16
@noni1959 I went to bars thinking I would meet a cute woman. About the only thing that happened was I'd go home drunk and wake up with a pounding hangover. I quit when I woke up one morning with a gigantic hangover and realized all I was really doing was throwing my money away to wake up with a hangover. That was the end of that.
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
22 Apr 16
@noni1959 Yes, it's better to find something else to change your mood other than grabbing for the bottle.
@Ruby3881 (2000)
• Canada
14 Apr 16
Anyone can change their hobbies and their interests. That doesn't mean they are depressed. Many of us abandon thrill seeking and adventure as we mature, and prefer to do things close to home instead.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I was always on the go and now if I say no I'm lazy, depressed, or not social. I like being a homebody now. That's the key for me - like.
1 person likes this
@Ruby3881 (2000)
• Canada
19 Apr 16
@noni1959 I think some of us just have a change of focus. I was a homebody when I was a teenager, but that didn't stop me from getting involved in a ton of community service projects and school activities. I was always entertaining or going out, as a young adult. But after a few years of that, I guess I just started to develop different interests and I grew apart from the friends I'd hang out with. I figure it's just a normal part of growing up...
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
22 Apr 16
@Ruby3881 I believe it's a normal part as well but even psychologist have these list to look for depression. One is the lack of desire for things one used to enjoy. Another is if they pull away from others. It's true in some cases but not all, however, many will take it for everyone. I need to stop worrying what others think and been working on that.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (18442)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Apr 16
@noni1959 when I live in NYC in my younger days I was always out somewhere. Walking through Manhattan, going shopping, to restaurants etc. Now I am happy to just be home and working on my PC or doing chores around the house.
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@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I'm like this now. Yesterday the sun was shining and I sat on the deck reading over 400 pages for five hours. I had someone ask what I did and when told him he said, "I wish I could have been so lazy myself." wow All week I am on the go. I didn't feel guilty - just annoyed.
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@RasmaSandra (18442)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
24 Apr 16
@noni1959 It certainly isn't being lazy when you read because reading sparks imagination and offers inspiration and so on.
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@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
25 Apr 16
@RasmaSandra I agree and it also allows one to learn about our history, biographies, and more. If you excel at reading, you can excel at work as well. With training becoming more and more remote and online, one needs to be able to read quickly and thoroughly. I like to read for pleasure and was at high school level in the 1st grade. I was determined to read the detective magazines my dad had around.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9236)
• Bern, Switzerland
14 Apr 16
To me, you have grown and evolved,your needs and wishes have changed
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@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
They have. I want to take up oil painting and was discouraged since I can't draw. Someone else told me you don't have to know how to draw. I plan to give it a go.
@miniam (9236)
• Bern, Switzerland
18 Apr 16
@noni1959 Do what makes you happy,you don't have to be Picasso and with time you can only get better
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@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
22 Apr 16
@miniam I am visiting a shop this weekend to look at the paints and what I need. I have some old ugly canvas I can paint over for practice.
@peavey (16797)
• United States
14 Apr 16
Yes, very much so. I used to always want to do the "homestead" thing... you know, grow all my own food, knit and sew and can and all that. As I grow older, some of those things just don't interest me. I still knit some, but it doesn't consume me the way it used to. I have struggled with the idea of leaving some of those things behind, knowing that others will think there is something wrong. Like you, I am not depressed, just changing and other things catch my attention now. I don't think we are meant to stay the same all our lives!
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I used to want to farm and do the homesteading as well. I will have a green house since I do still love to garden but don't like the weeding and work with a lot of it. I'm going to use straw bales and see how it works.
1 person likes this
@peavey (16797)
• United States
20 Apr 16
@noni1959 I use raised beds now, for what little gardening I do. There's not much weeding like that.
• Aberdeen, Scotland
14 Apr 16
I think it's natural to change as we grow older
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I do too but see many my age that still have their high school mentality. If it works for them, good but it's not for me.
@marlina (74801)
• Canada
14 Apr 16
My tastes have changed too over the years, I think it is only natural.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I think so but some still stay like they've always been. It can be they still enjoy it or think they have to.
@Corbin5 (109438)
• United States
14 Apr 16
I inherited major, recurrent, severe, agitated, clinical depression. 13-year battle with that monster. Could not eat, sleep, sit, read, drive, watch TV, work and more. I know what hell is like, but finally found Recovery, Inc,, when doctors could not fix it. Worked my way out. Depression made me a big-time introvert, but that happens when illness has been experienced. I do hope you can find your way out too.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (3454)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I'm so happy for you finding a way. I get depressed and most the time it's situational. My illness can bring it on when I lose the ability to do something. For the most part I just want peace in my life but "stuff" just keeps happening.