Married to a man/woman chosen by parents
April 15, 2016 8:11pm CST
When you meet a person for the first time, then you fall in love with her/him. What makes you fall in love with her/him, if I may know? Is it her/his face that makes you decide that you like him/her?In Indonesia we still have a tradition of marrying his/her daughter/son off to a chosen one. You cannot say No to your parents as regard this matter. This tradition is considered "old style", which is against young people today. People in remote areas still apply this tradition.
2 people like this
• College Park, Maryland
17 Apr 16
When I first met my husband, it was not organized but it was an accident. Neither him nor I were looking for love. I tried to get rid of him the 1st 2 weeks after we met but grew to love him immensely over time... Now we can't stay away from each other without going crazy... How do you love someone? You know them 1st. Can't love someone you never met even if you met them as a stranger, on your own, or if it was planned by someone else. You always learn to love someone new. It sucks not to be able to choose your mate but do we ever really choose our own? I kind of feel my husband just fell out of nowhere. I didn't know or love my husband before we met. We can love anyone. We simply choose to do so (or not) after we get to know them. Doesn't matter where they came from... Parents, halfway across the world, Internet.... Choose to love. That's how we fell in love. In your country, the pressure is more on tradition than the actual relationship developing between 2 ppl. It must be hard to get to know someone with all of that tradition in the way... Hope this makes sense?
16 Apr 16
I am very glad that my parents didn't choose my spouse, because I don't think they'd have chosen someone I could get along with! We have very different ideas about marriage! With my husband, I actually disliked him when we first met. It was only after several years that I got a chance to know him properly, and we fell in love in the space of a few weeks. We dated only briefly before we realized we wanted to be together forever and raise a family. We have been together almost 20 years now, and have raised 4 children together.