Happiness is a State of Mind

Happy Family
@Shiva49 (14527)
Singapore
April 28, 2016 11:06am CST
How do we achieve happiness, fulfillment? Or are they just in our subconscious mind when we pursue life and meet its challenges? Does contentment lead to inactivity and laziness? I have seen some fully immersed in their activities that they just do not seem to care about such. They are always doing one thing or another and hardly have time to think of happiness, goals etc. They have no set goals other than being active, on the move all the time. And their immediate families seem to leave them to their devices. They rarely communicate, spend time together, but for all practical purposes they are a family. At the other extreme are those who think of the path they take, pause and ponder whether it is worth it. They think of the family and even worry about them to the extent of interfering in their lives, sort of micro-managing to ensure nothing goes wrong. These lead to restlessness and lack of peace of mind, even skirmishes within families. I am more of falling in between. I have no set goals in life and I tend to accept whatever life has to offer but add meaning or learn from them. Happiness is not a goal but I am contented and count my blessings. My life journey is full of twists and turns but I have no complaints. I also allow others within my immediate family full freedom to pursue their goals and take responsibility but assure them of my support if needed. We are separate individuals, come and leave alone. How do you live your life? Do you pursue happiness as an achievable goal? How do you accept reverses that are part and parcel of life?
13 people like this
16 responses
@MALUSE (45871)
• Uzbekistan
28 Apr 16
Constant happiness is not possible. The urge to reach it can put people under pressure and make them unhappy.
6 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
28 Apr 16
I find balance in life with a take that life is never a straight line - the downs and ups alternate with some steady periods. So I tend not to get carried away by the highs or lows in life - siva
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (21125)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
28 Apr 16
@Shiva49 I try to find something good in each day and find something to smile about.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
@RasmaSandra It is up to us to see the picture in totality, then we will not be disappointed. To be up and about is itself something to cheer about - siva
2 people like this
@quantum2020 (10168)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
28 Apr 16
I live my life according to the precepts of Christianity with respect for people and devotion for the divine. I pursue happiness on daily basis, as happiness is not ever lasting while on earth, but in the heavens. I accept ups and downs which are part of this imperfect life; however, I try to stay in harmony with my surroundings, including people.
4 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
28 Apr 16
Good approach to life to give peace of mind. I find solace with a take that the darkest hour is just before the dawn - siva
3 people like this
@Corbin5 (122551)
• United States
28 Apr 16
I choose peace over power. I expect to be disappointed so that I will not be disappointed and I swap negative thoughts with positive thoughts. I do not go too far ahead in the future nor do I go far too back into the past. I know that I will often have to face, tolerate and endure what life brings. I know that I cannot change other people and refrain from trying to do so. I do not strive for perfection since perfection is but a hope, a wish or perhaps a dream. I lower my standards so that my performance rises. I always make sure that duties are performed and obligations are fulfilled.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
Practical approach to life which mirrors mine too. That makes me recall the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference." Change is the only constant and we cannot have our way all the time. Life takes us to places and people not on our volition, so acceptance of reality is needed. We can do but little but if each does that little, all will be done - siva
2 people like this
@Corbin5 (122551)
• United States
29 Apr 16
@Shiva49 Yes, the Serenity Prayer does come to mind regarding my personal approach to life. Life really is a business that one must conduct.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
@Corbin5 Yes, we are more than blessed, come to think of it. We are in it for the long haul - siva
1 person likes this
@joygracia (1328)
• Philippines
28 Apr 16
I'm one of those goal oriented individual and currently I feel a bit suffocated on the urge to reach my ambitions. I'm single and focus on making my life worthwhile and I don't believe being in a relationship would make me exultant. I had my heart broken 3 times to discourage me from entering another turmoiled relationship anyway. If only I'd achieve my goals then I'd say I could be happy but then again its not a guarantee to pure happiness. However, it would give me the feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction close to true bliss. I do pray my hopes and dreams will be realized someday that way I can be at peace.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
Good that you are ambitious to attain your goals but that should not come at the cost of others that matter in life. I have seen few climb all their lives only to realize in the end that they chose the wrong mountain! As I have said for some the trying itself gives them happiness and fulfillment and not depend on what they achieve, set out to do. As for me, I wanted balance and my work-life was just to earn a living and sincerely too and that gave me fulfillment. As I was working for others I did not want them to unload their rubbish onto me ceaselessly. That will be different if you are self-employed as you call the shots. Life is s series of compromises. My advice is enjoy the ride too and not get too fixated on reaching the destination. Putting eggs in different baskets serves us well - siva
@Talknpen (1822)
• United States
28 Apr 16
Good Day Sivaramakrishnan A. Happiness in my opinion is the result of knowing how to be that. When you realize more about what you have as opposed to what you don't have. When you can actually appreciate the ability to experience life. It is a good thing to have family in your life. It is even better when they support and encourage you. We are all a natural wonder in ourselves (mankind/womankind). We make our choices and we are able to learn as we live. I will even say that not everything is in our hands; I can accept fate spiritually at times. I am happy that I am not alone as I go through life. A life determined by a little luck and a lot of hope and faith.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
Thanks for this thought provoking response Shurhonda. Yes, I agree most think about what they don't have and forget about what they have - then it is heaping misery on ourselves. We should partake wholeheartedly in the spread that nature gives us, a feast for the eyes and senses! I don't take life seriously and tend to laugh at my faults and foibles. If I am called to benefit society through my actions, I do that with gratitude at having been given the opportunity. These things add up and block out negative vibrations. I tend to be happy and feel happier when others beat me at happiness - siva
@Talknpen (1822)
• United States
29 Apr 16
@Shiva49 You are a very generous person. I appreciate your view.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
@Talknpen Thanks, we have to treat others better than we are treated and that will set the ball rolling for a better world. Cynicism, selfishness and ego stand in our way now - siva
@jaboUK (55159)
• United Kingdom
28 Apr 16
I'm very laid back and at this stage of my life I don't set any goals and I'm very happy with that. Is that a photo of you and your family?
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
I am also enjoying the evening of my life after living in hot and humid Asia all my life! The morning of my life made we anxious about the afternoon and evening and the inevitable night and darkness! The afternoon was hot and humid with many breathing down my neck. Now I have shaken off the excess luggage and sort of stretch my legs on online sites for six years. Life has been good to me but I learnt some bitter lessons along the way. I forgive the perpetrators of those bordering on the evil. Okay, I cannot forget them though I try! To be up and about each day is a blessing now. The rest is a bonus! The photo is sourced from free site Wikimedia Images and not of me or family. I have a wife and son - siva
2 people like this
@jaboUK (55159)
• United Kingdom
29 Apr 16
@Shiva49 I agree about the forgiveness - it's no good holding on to negative feelings. Francis Bacon said ''he that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green''. I'm glad that you are in a happy place now.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
@jaboUK Thanks for sharing the wise words of Francis Bacon. We punish ourselves more by carrying a grudge. I try to shed excess baggage as my return journey nears! It should be " thanks all for having me" siva
1 person likes this
@just4him (132292)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Apr 16
Happiness is never guaranteed. Though I try to be happy, content is probably the better word. I am content with my life for the most part. I do have trouble when life throws its curve balls at me and I need to rethink the whole situation and try to figure out how to work the solution. In those times, I do a LOT of praying.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
30 Apr 16
I have one take when storms approach and I am caught in them - this too will pass. And there have been times when it looked like end of the world but they are soon water under the bridge. And I am prepared for one thing - change is the only constant in creation, so we have to adapt. And the beauty in life is when one door closes another opens; in fact many to choose from! siva
2 people like this
@just4him (132292)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Apr 16
@Shiva49 Those are all great sayings!
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33669)
• Philippines
29 Apr 16
Happiness is something that happens everyday...if we can justbopen our eyes. Something that we don't have to work on too much...jst be contented
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
The world treats all the same, it is up to us to seize the day - Carpe diem. I find it is in small things that happiness resides and also laughter is spontaneous when money stays in the background - siva
2 people like this
@thesids (22351)
• Bhubaneswar, India
28 Apr 16
Loved this one for sure. Today, I live my life in seconds. I have no set goals, very little expectations from it (life) and take whatever comes across as "it could not have been any better" or even "it could have been worse". To me, Happiness is definitely an achievable goal because I have cut down on Expectations. Nothing (sadness) bothers me for long now. As long as you as a person do not want to be happy, there is nothing in the Universe that can make you Happy. And once you start feeling happy, there are so many things that can keep you happy. It is all about what you want and how you focus yourself. Shedding inhibitions was my first step. Earlier, when I was working, (i was a teacher) - I would always think what will my students think if I do this or do that. Or even what my bosses or colleagues or even society think? today, I do not have any such thoughts. I know, I can get drenched in the rain, jump over poodles of water and splash it around... and if they make me happy, I do those. For the reverses or ups and downs - I have started believing there is always a silver lining somewhere... it is all about being patient and staying hopeful.
2 people like this
@Chellezhere (1393)
• United States
28 Apr 16
According to Harvard's 75-year longitudinal Grant and Glueck studies, happiness is love or “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.” And, that is how I have always defined it as well.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
Thanks, we have to think of the well being of society and keeping our Creator in mind in whatever we do. Happiness and fulfillment is more through giving than in taking as we are co-creators with an inner knowing to do what is right - siva
@EddieHands (37792)
• United States
28 Apr 16
Yes however we think and feel within the soul is how we will manifest our life everyay... Blessings !
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
Thanks. "Eyes are the window to the soul" and happiness is reflected more in our eyes - siva
1 person likes this
@amadeo (78301)
• United States
28 Apr 16
Is the photo there you and your family.What a lovely looking one there.Thanks for sharing
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
No, this photo is sourced from Wikimedia free site. It is my pleasure to share my thoughts with you all - siva
1 person likes this
@carebear29 (28905)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
28 Apr 16
I live life one day at a time
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
That ensures we are on firm footing. There are too many variables in our life to make long term plans - siva
2 people like this
@JudyEv (141430)
• Bunbury, Australia
29 Apr 16
I enjoyed your writing and agree with your thoughts. I try to set a few goals but at my age they are not life-changing ones. Mostly I like to think I am happy and 'go with the flow'.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
Thanks, I too don't want to rock the boat now as I am easing into retirement from work life. The excitement of being alive is itself a source of happiness and then logging into this welcoming site and connecting with people from across the world. Then few days to travel and see the world. And give more than take in every way to spread some cheer. Nothing else comes to mind to add to my happiness! siva
2 people like this
@JudyEv (141430)
• Bunbury, Australia
29 Apr 16
@Shiva49 There was a post I read today about when you give sincerely you also receive even if you're not expecting to - receive as in feeling good which equates to happy in this context I think.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
@JudyEv During my years working my employer used to talk highly of me and that led to his friends approaching me through him for my services and I had to decline. I used to tell him I wanted to give my undivided attention to his work. At the cost of being misunderstood, I gave more than I received every day and that has stood me in good stead all my life. I took even work as a service Years ago, I was helping out at a work place on a part time basis. My friend asked me how was it going. I said I was happy and his reply " I know you will be happy anywhere but how do they feel about your performance?" I said since they paid me they should also be happy! siva
2 people like this
@Macarrosel (7536)
• Philippines
1 May 16
Maybe I'm in Between too, as I try hard to be. Although sometimes I'm on the extreme when I invade my daughters lives due to my fear if they go wrong.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
1 May 16
It is better one should own up to their own actions than expect hand holding after a stage. And better that we don't give unsolicited advice as that will lead others not to share their problems - siva
@innertalks (4693)
• Australia
29 Apr 16
The good Doctor Seuss seemed a pretty happy chappy!!
“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” This quote is from the well-known American author, Dr. Seuss, (1904 to 1991). (Remember the Cat in the Hat!) I would add to this, do not cry, thinking something makes you unhappy, cry because crying is another type of smile in your heart. All comes forth from love, sadness, happiness, and everything else besides. The good Doctor Seuss seemed a pretty happy chappy!! What is happiness? Happiness is that rare state achieved when you place your mind behind your heart, and not the other way around. Smile about everything, and be happy!!
@Shiva49 (14527)
• Singapore
29 Apr 16
Thanks Steve, life gives us enough to be happy and nature is ever benevolent. The basics are free but we sweat for the perquisites! I recall Louis Armstrong lyrics: When you're smilin' keep on smilin' The whole world smiles with you And when you're laughin' oh when youre laughin' The sun comes shinin? through But when you?re cryin' you bring on the rain So stop your sighin 'be happy again keep on smilin Cause when you're smilin' The whole world smiles with you It is our choice whether we want to live happily or in misery. The rich tends to have nightmares of becoming poor while the poor dreams of becoming rich. I have said this before - a rich man's wife admonished him - why live in misery despite all the wealth. The only sound we hear is the jingling of gold coins while for our poor neighbor it is the laughter, That made her husband "lose his mind" and he threw a bundle of coins across the wall. Soon there was argument at the neighbor's home - who took the one coin, there is only nine in this bundle! siva
1 person likes this