How To Make Homemade Wine

@RussTeed (1511)
United States
April 30, 2016 5:23pm CST
I was in my lab again working on a quick way to make homemade wine. Eureka! I did it! First, I ate a fistful of ripe red grapes. Next, I swallowed a solution of water and instant yeast. Then, I did cartwheels for ten minutes to blend thoroughly. I stuck a cork in my mouth (as I've been asked to by so many) as to keep it fresh. My body was involuntarily convulsing and my brain performed a wildly violent Gangnam Style dance. I turned blue like the blueberry girl in the Willie Wonka movie and my potion exited my gizzards in the most egregious manner you can imagine. Why are you still reading this? I'm nothing but a big fat liar! My vacuum cleaner really sucks. Photo by Pixabay: Public Domain, Free for commercial use. No attribution required.
9 people like this
9 responses
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Apr 16
You should probably stay out of that lab for a while! And we read it because we love your silly little stories!
6 people like this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
30 Apr 16
Thank you, my friend! I like making folks smile.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (64902)
• India
1 May 16
The lab will miss him and start drinking to drown sorrows.
2 people like this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
2 May 16
@vandana7 My lab needs me, it wants me, it calls my name, I must answer!
2 people like this
@pgntwo (21651)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
30 Apr 16
T'is the job of any vacuum cleaner to suck. Talk about having a bad lot in life...
3 people like this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
30 Apr 16
LOL yes, My new straw sucks really good, too!
3 people like this
@akalinus (15720)
• United States
30 Apr 16
Mine sucks royal.
3 people like this
@pgntwo (21651)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
1 May 16
@RussTeed @akalinus The Rolls-Royce Trent jet engine has to be one of the biggest suckers in town, now that I think on it. Not very practical for vacuuming the living room carpet though.
3 people like this
@jahunt (1391)
• United States
30 Apr 16
Lol! I did it for real once and the bottles exploded in my cabinet...
3 people like this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
30 Apr 16
That sounds just about right! LOL too funny!
2 people like this
@jahunt (1391)
• United States
30 Apr 16
@RussTeed Yes, not my finest moment. smh....
2 people like this
@akalinus (15720)
• United States
1 May 16
@jahunt Good idea. Would you pour me a glass, too?
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35670)
• United States
30 Apr 16
lol lol That was my laugh for the day, thanks.
3 people like this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
30 Apr 16
LOL The Dickens. aren't I?
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35670)
• United States
1 May 16
@RussTeed You are the dickens indeed. That was really funny and I enjoyed it, thanks.
2 people like this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
1 May 16
@Marcyaz I like to make folks forget about life, even if only for a moment...
2 people like this
@akalinus (15720)
• United States
30 Apr 16
I feel sorry for your vacuum cleaner. Is there a protective society for household cleaning devices?
2 people like this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
30 Apr 16
Oh boy, I can just see a protest forming for the cause, smh...
2 people like this
@akalinus (15720)
• United States
1 May 16
@RussTeed Boy, you better run. The suckers alliance is going after you.
2 people like this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
1 May 16
@akalinus "Suckers Alliance" - LOL too funny!
2 people like this
@theBlock (2627)
• United States
1 May 16
I like reading your posts from the very last word to the beginning 'cause I understand it better
2 people like this
@vandana7 (64902)
• India
1 May 16
I stopped at the gizzards throwing it out..I knew what was coming..
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33384)
• Philippines
30 Apr 16
Hahaha. I am imagining that gangnam and the girl who turned blue in the charlie and thenchocolate factory.
1 person likes this
@RussTeed (1511)
• United States
30 Apr 16
Haha! I am glad you enjoyed it!
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33384)
• Philippines
1 May 16
@RussTeed andhope you too
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (64902)
• India
1 May 16
You selfish drunken slob...dirtying the world with whatever is exiting..whichever way..
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (25260)
• Atlanta, Georgia
6 May 16
Oh well, you gave me a good laugh. That's reason enough for reading your post.