in the family, do you or have you been considered the black sheep?
May 4, 2016 9:39pm CST
I don't know why at one point my mom told me I was the black sheep of the family because I actually turned out okay. Sure I did a lot of stuff when I was in college - party all night. But I did not lose sight of my goal and I'm actually better off compared to my siblings. It was probably because I was by nature rebellious which I think is a good thing cause I don't always conform, I act on my own will and I know how to bend rules - lol.
4 people like this
• United States
5 May 16
Not exactly. However, I was put down by my parents a lot and compared with my relatives when I was a student. It was funny because they always put me down, sheltered me from the world, and didn't allow me to do much outside of the house - yet they expected me to be like my relatives. While my relatives were free to do as they pleased, mingled with other people, and had healthy social and academic lives, I was expected to come straight home after school (no extracurriculars whatsoever), wasn't allowed to go out with friends, wasn't allowed to go out unless it was school or work, and always sheltered from the world. My relatives were free to do as they pleased and turned out to be very successful because no one put them down, lowered their self-esteems, and prevented them from experiencing the outside world. It's funny my parents compare to people who led very different childhoods than me.
5 May 16
that's crazy - in my opinion anyway. I hope you'll find time to learn about yourself and enjoy the good things on life. I believe that our parents have their own reasons why they do what they do but you don't have to take it against them. What you can do however is to focus on the good things and learn to love yourself. I was also compared to other people and I was also put down at some point but I tried to remove all the negative things I hear and read a lot of self motivating books and inspirational books as well to help me get thru it all. It helped because now I have the confidence to be who I am. You may not be given that privilege by your parents but you have your whole life ahead of you to make things right. Don't listen to them, live a good life that you want they will soon understand. :)
• United States
5 May 16
@slayer08 Your supportive reply brought a smile to my face. Thank you so much. I was angry with my parents, growing up, watching the people around me experience freedom and exercising the right to experience the world around them while I was stuck at home. I am still very upset with them even now because they still continue to put me down and jab at my self-esteem. However, I tried to accept that they had their own reasons. They were afraid of the dangerous world we live in and that's why they sheltered me. I tried to rationalize it that way. As I became an adult, I slowly started focusing more on myself and started learning about what I liked to do, my hobbies, what I wanted to do as a career, etc. I started becoming more focused on myself because I suddenly was more able to do so. Unlike my childhood where I was expected to only study and stay at home, I was experiencing a little more freedom which in turn allowed me to focus more on myself than on the negativity my parents threw my way. I was slowly becoming happier or at least I am in the process of becoming more happier - maybe even coming to love myself. As I experience the freedom I missed out in my childhood, maybe one day, I'll come to truly accept my parents and the way they treated me in my childhood. Maybe then we can reconcile and my parents can finally accept me for just me instead of comparing me and putting me down. Your words are pure motivation. You were able to experience happiness which is out there. I will one day, too. Thank you so much for brightening up my day. Stay confident, happy, and healthy.
5 May 16
@zarlamain I enjoyed reading your response! you are brave I would say and you also have to forgive your parents. being able to see it their way is actually beneficial for you. You don't have to fight it now just accept and in acceptance you'll learn clarity - at least that's how I did it. Good luck to you and your journey to discovering yourself. I bet life great things in store for you. Don't give up and forget about the negative things, reconcile with your past so you can delicately move on into the future. :)