I Did Something About It

@just4him (128982)
Green Bay, Wisconsin
May 7, 2016 3:20pm CST
Yesterday I went through a time of feeling sorry for myself. I was still crying when I went to bed at 5 AM. I only got 4.5 hours of sleep, but I had to find it. I had to find the picture to give my daughter for Mother's Day. I didn't find just one, but a whole lot of them of her children that I knew she would also love to have. So as soon as I found the picture in question, I took a picture of it, because to my knowledge it was my only copy, and put it into an envelope with the other pictures, called her and waited for her to call me back. I was soon on my way to see my daughter. What resulted was something I never expected. We talked, and she told me how she felt about growing up, about me, about our family. It was all out, all on the table, and I'm very happy - healing has finally started. What I found out was not what I wanted to hear, but something I've been trying to avoid all my life - being like my mother. Well I am just like her, and now I can change me. And I will change me. I guarantee it. I took my camera with me hoping to get pictures of her and my great grandchildren as well, but they moved out this past week. But I do have a picture of my grandson. However, the picture I'm sharing is a four generation picture - Mom, her mother, me holding Shiloh. Thanks for reading.
22 people like this
20 responses
@BelleStarr (39914)
• United States
8 May 16
I am glad the healing has started and it is never to late to change and make things better.
6 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
No, it's not. I'm going to be the mother she never had. I promise.
3 people like this
@Drosophila (16695)
• Ireland
7 May 16
I really hope things improves from now on :)
4 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
So do I. I know today was a start.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16695)
• Ireland
8 May 16
@just4him that's great, always good to give it a shot :D
3 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
@Drosophila I called her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day just a little while ago. I needed to leave a message, but it's a start for me.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (120554)
• Boise, Idaho
7 May 16
I have a Christmas picture of me, my daughter when she was about eight, my mom and grandmother. It is great to have isn't it?
3 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
It really is. I remember when that picture was taken. It was special because it's rare to get a four generation picture like that.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (120554)
• Boise, Idaho
8 May 16
@just4him ....We used to do the same thing. We should take one of the generations here. If we could get my granddaughter to settle long enough. She visits and has to go after ten minutes.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
@celticeagle If I could, I could get a 4 generation picture again with my great-granddaughter. However, I don't think that's going to be possible at the present moment. My daughter had to kick her daughter out of the house this past week.
1 person likes this
@puddleglum (1414)
• United States
8 May 16
I admire the courage and determination you showed in facing truths and being open to dialogue with your daughter. Hopefully, this is the beginning of a good new chapter for you and your family.
3 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
I hope so too. I'm determined to be the mother I wasn't.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (55198)
• United Kingdom
7 May 16
I hope things improve with your daughter from now on.
3 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
Me too. We've been strangers for far too long.
2 people like this
@Corbin5 (119896)
• United States
7 May 16
It took courage on your part to have that discussion with your daughter. A wonderful photo you shared with us. Thank you.
3 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
I didn't know what to expect when I got there. I really thought it would be just another casual visit. It was so much more. I think the pictures broke the ice.
1 person likes this
@Elizaby (4102)
• Pensacola, Florida
8 May 16
It is often hard to see that we are like our parents even we we attempt to try to be different and then to see we are of the same seed in more ways than one. But seeing the seed we came from and recognizing that the seed is in us we now can do something about it as God is there waiting with open arms to walk us through the process of uprooting and burning the "bad seed that was so rooted in our being. One of my favorite books is Hannah Hurnard Hinds Feet on High Places. Prayers that as you go through the process you are then able to help your children see and help them through by example
2 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
I have determined to be the mother I never was. I never want my daughter to tell me I didn't appreciate her ever again. It tore my soul to shreds and still is.
@CRK109 (14403)
• United States
7 May 16
I'm so glad there is healing for you now. God is good! :)
2 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
All the time!
@amnabas (10311)
• Karachi, Pakistan
7 May 16
That's great picture. The picture says it all.
2 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
Thank you.
@Susan2015 (21966)
• United States
7 May 16
Sometimes it helps to hear what we don't want to. Glad the healing is starting.
2 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
I'm glad too.
@TRBRocks420 (84687)
• Banks, Oregon
7 May 16
Very nice four generation picture and, I hope everything works out how you want it too.
2 people like this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
Thanks. Me too.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35591)
• United States
9 May 16
Now the healing process is beginning and you both can move on and have a nice relationship.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 May 16
Yes we can. I got an e-mail from her this morning and she wants to start anew. I'm so glad. I've already called her today as well. Things are definitely moving forward.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35591)
• United States
10 May 16
@just4him I am so happy to hear that as relatives should try to be in closer contact. I hope that everything works out for you and your daughter.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
10 May 16
@Marcyaz So far so good.
1 person likes this
@zarlamain (24874)
• United States
7 May 16
Glad there was a warm bonding and healing.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
Now the glue has to stick. I'm going to work on it.
1 person likes this
@zarlamain (24874)
• United States
8 May 16
@just4him Good luck! It'll work out.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
@zarlamain Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (47879)
• Centralia, Missouri
8 May 16
deff something to take to counseling. I know I have things from my mother I dont want, esp her temper and controlling ways. I hoped to avoid that.I did not.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 May 16
There are some things I can avoid, and I'm going to work on it as I mend my family. Counseling is on hold, thanks to the car.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
9 May 16
@just4him triggers and breaking down things sometimes helps. perhaps you can call the person counseling you for some phone conversations at least?
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
10 May 16
@Jessicalynnt It's going to be okay. I appreciate your concern. I really do.
1 person likes this
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
8 May 16
I am happy for you for arriving at such good outcome with your daughter. That is what I want to happen for my mom and my brother too but it seems it is impossible to happen soon. Happy Mother's Day!
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 May 16
Thank you and I hope you had a good Mother's Day as well.
1 person likes this
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
9 May 16
@just4him Thanks. I have been sick until today that I cannot do much things. I haven't prepared any present for my mom. When I attended the mass, I just put everything in prayer all I want for my mom like good health and long life.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 May 16
@annierose I'm sure God heard your prayer for your mom.
@cacay1 (33199)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
8 Sep 16
Very nice photo, you look so great Valerie.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Sep 16
Thank you. The much younger me.
@thelme55 (15246)
• Germany
8 May 16
I hope your relationship with your mother will be good if not best, one day. It's nice to see you again.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 May 16
My mother passed in October. It's good to see you here as well.
@marlina (79730)
• Canada
8 May 16
So glad that you are feeling better now that you have had a good "clean the air" talk. Good luck in the process.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 May 16
Thank you. I'm glad I'm doing better as well.
@Dena91 (4775)
• United States
8 May 16
Prayers for you and your daughter and healing in the days ahead. The first step is always the hardest and you took it today. So glad that you did. You and your family are in my prayers. Have a blessed evening.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
Thank you. I know the road ahead will have lots of twists and turns in it. But I'm determined.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (142991)
• United States
7 May 16
That was nice that you got to sit with her a while. I am all for change as well it's a start. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@just4him (128982)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 May 16
Thank you. It's a start I want to keep going and build the relationship I never had.