What Can I Say To Get Her To Stop Trying To Get Me To Talk To Someone I Never Want To Again?

Defiance, Ohio
May 8, 2016 5:51pm CST
Mom said she and my half brothers dad is thinking of holding a birthday for his 30th. She asked if I was planning to go. I asked her what she thought. She said You will come. I said mom it depends on who is going to be there. She said nothing will be started. I said I know well such and such likes to run their mouths. I am not dealing with it. She mention my half brothers father won't allow it. I said he can't stop if they really wanted to start something and she knows it. Than she said well it makes it really hard to get together being that way. So, I asked her, why should I go somewhere to make someone happy, if all it does make me miserable and on edge? She didn't have an answer. Mom keeps trying to me in the same place as these people. I avoid it like the plague for several years now. I finally told her I will probably busy doing something for my birthday that weekend anyways. As my birthday is a few days before my brothers. Do you have relatives you avoid, but others try to get you together at places? If so, how do you deal with it?
10 people like this
13 responses
@carebear29 (28537)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
9 May 16
I have family that has disowned me but I deal with it.
2 people like this
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
I am fine with family disowning. I am not fine with someone trying to get to get me to talk with someone I can't stand to see let alone talk to.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (98163)
• United States
9 May 16
No, I do not have that issue, but I can understand.
2 people like this
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
I am glad you do not have that issue.
@rina110383 (24135)
8 May 16
I avoid all my relatives. I don't maintain relationships with them. If there are reunions, I don't attend. I work for those days that they schedule get togethers. No one can force and request me to attend since they don't feed me anyway. My work is more important than any relative because it feeds me and pays my bills.
2 people like this
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
I avoid a couple of my relatives. I don't like drama.
1 person likes this
@sabashekh (1235)
• Bhopal, India
9 May 16
Talk to your mother .. But listen to your heart n follow it
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
I have talked to my mom. She doesn't listen to me at all. She wants all her children in one place. She doesn't care who it hurts.
1 person likes this
@sabashekh (1235)
• Bhopal, India
11 May 16
@rusty2rusty she is also a mother ... Try :)
• Defiance, Ohio
11 May 16
@sabashekh She also is a mother of five other children. Of only one she raised. As the she lost the rest through the courts for different reasons.
1 person likes this
• Japan
9 May 16
I would say that you are an adult and even though you should respect your mother, you don't have to do what she says in this case.
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
I do respect my mother. I also know if I am around these people drama will start, if the cops don't end up showing up it will be a miracle. It is that bad.
@Susan2015 (20413)
• United States
9 May 16
You should do what you want to do. If it makes you uncomfortable then do something else.
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
It would be more comfortable to avoid them. I tried at my nieces Graduation party. Instead everyone was telling my boyfriend to behave. He never said a word to anyone. Otherwise nobody not talk to us. It was awkward. Only because mom wants all of her kids in one place. Well, she had it. I don't see it happening again.
@TheHorse (63929)
• Pleasant Hill, California
8 May 16
With family,everything you do can be a political statement. There are no easy answers. Often, I try to appease others. But sometimes I set boundaries and do what *I* want to do.
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
I use to appease others for years. I can't do it anymore. Not with these people. I want them out of my life for good.
@Corbin5 (103085)
• United States
8 May 16
I do what you do. I have other plans even if I don't have other plans. I will make plans to avoid something that will make me uncomfortable. My brother, who has no concern for my parents or for my sister and me who have been taking care of our parents for 15 years, says he and his wife will be coming to town on Memorial Day weekend. I will be busy.
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
I don't blame you. I don't like to hurt mom. But she needs to understand I can't be made to be around someone I can't stand. It is best to avoid them. I already have them blocked on social media. So, I don't run in to them at all.
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (20742)
• Philippines
9 May 16
ive got few cousins that i dont get along well. not that we had a fight but we just dont talk that much. and id rather be at home watching tv than be in a party with them. my mom doesnt force me to go everytime theyre having a party cause she knows im not into it.
1 person likes this
@polyxena (2576)
• Sturgis, Michigan
9 May 16
I avoid my aunts at all costs even my crazy aunt who tried adding me to Instagram, she's been bothering me for awhile now and not even my dad when he was a live could stand her.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (36666)
• United States
10 May 16
I personally would go and just avoid the ones who bother you. I have had to deal with this lots of times over the years and it is tough.
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
These people started a group on Facebook accusing my boyfriend of some things that weren't true. Inviting friends and my children's father. I had to report Facebook for harassment for the things being said. Later claiming it was all a big joke as they had been drinking. Do you think it is a joke to accuse someone of abuse or worse when they know it is not true? (This is what they did) What they did is not excusable.
@shaggin (36666)
• United States
11 May 16
@rusty2rusty Oh wow that is really wrong what they did. It also sounds extremely immature to be honest.
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
9 May 16
Yeah but there is no drama. Just tell your Mom how strongly you feel and ask herr to stop. Would she like someone telling her what to do?
• Defiance, Ohio
10 May 16
I have told my mom multiple times. Instead of listening. She accusing me of not wanting to talk to her. She doesn't understand why I want nothing to do with sister and bother in law. When I try to tell her what they said and did. She tells me she doesn't want to hear it.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
11 May 16
@rusty2rusty Tell her, when she mentions them that you don't want to know, that you don't want to hear it.
@Sweetsona (302)
• India
12 May 16
Talking to your mom would be great