Egg on my Face

Winston Salem, North Carolina
May 10, 2016 8:43pm CST
Some morning I probably shouldn’t be trusted with sharp knives or anything else particularly dangerous. Other mornings, I manage to turn normally innocent household items into potentially deadly weapons. Today was one of those other mornings. Breakfast is usually a pretty innocuous meal. I started my morning by making a batch of waffles for the younger members of the family and managed the task with no problems. Unfortunately my luck ran out when it was time to prepare my own breakfast. I pulled three shell-less boiled eggs out of the fridge and decided that they didn’t appeal to me cold, but if I heated them up they would make a more than adequate breakfast. I’m not always the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I do know that microwaving boiled eggs has the potential to be explosive so I made sure the dish was covered so any flying bits of egg would be contained. Sure enough I heard a hearty WHOOMP from the microwave. Clearly the eggs were hot enough, though only one had exploded. I carried the dish to the livingroom and settled into the recliner. I checked my phone for messages and without really watching what I was doing I poked at one of the remaining intact eggs with a fork. WHOOMP. The egg exploded. Yellow bits of egg yolk speckled the surface of the recliner and plastered themselves to my glasses and shirt. Setting the dish down on the coffee table I proceeded to clean up the mess. In the kitchen my youngest daughter laughed when I told her what I had done and then suggested that I probably needed to take another shower before I left the house. There was egg on my face, egg in my hair, and egg stuck to the front of my shirt. Fortunately it brushed off easily. A significant amount of time had passed while I was cleaning things up. I had brushed the yellow bits out of my hair, cleaned my glasses and cleared the worst of the mess out of the living room. Still hungry I decided to give the third egg a chance. The surface of the white was no longer hot to the touch and there was a crack in the white where the egg had been slightly squished in the container. I decided that there should no longer be any real danger of explosion. I was wrong. At the touch of my fork there was yet another WHOOMP, and once again egg yolk was everywhere. It appears I am a VERY slow learner...
23 people like this
24 responses
@Morleyhunt (16795)
• Canada
11 May 16
Snort,guffaw.....note to self....don't microwave eggs.
6 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 May 16
Clearly it was not one of my better ideas. I'm still trying to figure out how to pin this one on you .
4 people like this
@Morleyhunt (16795)
• Canada
11 May 16
@Platespinner I'm sure, given enough time, you will find a way to blame me. It still surprises me how long it took you to pin the the mashed hand on me.
4 people like this
@JudyEv (101131)
• Bunbury, Australia
15 May 16
@Platespinner It must be difficult sometimes having a sister on here - unless of course you can pin blame!
1 person likes this
• United States
11 May 16
you gave me a much needed laugh this morning (sorry).
3 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
14 May 16
Happy to amuse!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (101131)
• Bunbury, Australia
14 May 16
When I wasn't well once my husband 'finished off' a boiled egg in the microwave and set it in front of our 6 year old son. That blew up in his face too.
2 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
14 May 16
Poor kid! Was he afraid to ever touch another hard boiled egg after that?
1 person likes this
@BellaDoc (766)
• San Diego, California
15 May 16
ooops
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (101131)
• Bunbury, Australia
15 May 16
@Platespinner He wasn't very happy about his egg but Vince, being Vince, thought it was hilarious. :)
@softbabe44 (5958)
• Vancouver, Washington
11 May 16
Things really get messed up when you just want to eat something
2 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 May 16
Some days I am my own worst enemy it seems. At least it has had great entertainment value.
1 person likes this
• Vancouver, Washington
14 May 16
@Platespinner That is probably right on
@Juliaacv (23331)
• Canada
11 May 16
I'm sorry, but this is such a funny story. But on the good side, you were not burned by the flying egg debris where you?
2 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 May 16
No apologies necessary. I thought the whole thing was pretty funny myself. And yes, it was fortunate that I didn't get burned!
2 people like this
11 May 16
oh this made me giggle.... i can just imagine
2 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 May 16
Sometimes my life feels a bit like a really bad comedy sketch...
1 person likes this
@Teep11 (6540)
• United States
11 May 16
The eggs exploded. I can understand why that happened. Those kitchen mishaps do occur. Eggs are the stove are a lot safer. At least you were able to get some conditioning.
2 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 May 16
Eggs on the stove may be safer, but they don't make for much of a story.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33691)
• Philippines
11 May 16
The eggs.has a "delayed reaction" ;( The yolk is not hot ;(
1 person likes this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 May 16
I think the chickens finally figured out a way to exact revenge...
2 people like this
@Lucky15 (33691)
• Philippines
11 May 16
1 person likes this
@mom210 (5795)
• Atlanta, Georgia
21 May 16
Sorry, I know it was bad, and I do not mean to laugh, but I really needed a chuckle.
1 person likes this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
21 May 16
Go ahead and laugh...it WAS pretty funny!
1 person likes this
@UncleJoe (8617)
• Virginia Beach, Virginia
17 May 16
I might make up funny stories but you actually LIVE them! LOL
1 person likes this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
18 May 16
I guess that would be because you have an active imagination, and I'm just REALLY good at stupidity .
1 person likes this
@CoralLevang (40918)
• United States
11 May 16
Well, I have just learned something! I did not know this could happen from just reheating a hard boiled egg without the shell. So if I'm ever going to do that, which I don't normally because I don't like hard boiled eggs when they're cool, I will cut them in half to zap them! I'm so sorry that you went through this, but I have to admit that I laughed!
1 person likes this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
14 May 16
It was one of those mistakes that was pretty funny even when it happened. Messy, but funny.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (102234)
• United States
11 May 16
I sure would not do that again.
1 person likes this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 May 16
You'd think having one blow up in my face would have been enough. But, slow learner that I am, I had to clean a second one off my face .
• United States
11 May 16
goose! 'fter i calmed down from my fit'f laughter, this reminded me'f the hubs'n some'f the schtuff he does. he's o'er 60 years ol'n still aint learnt that if'n somethin' jest came outta the oven - 'tis hot. don't use the microwave fer nothin' but the timer feature'n 't myself...'n thankfully so! i bet'cha'd a time gettin' all those wee bits cleaned. who'da thunk that 3rd'n 'twas jest 'nother time bomb? big hugs'n thanks fer sharin' this. we're all human, eh? sometimes we jest gotta test the waters. they do say 3's a charm, ya know
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
11 May 16
Hopefully the third WHOOMP will be memorable enough that I won't try warming eggs in the microwave again. My children thought the whole episode was pretty funny as well.
2 people like this
• United States
12 May 16
@Platespinner i bet they did :D somethin' that'cher prolly ne'er gonna live down neither :D
• Midland, Michigan
26 May 16
hard boiled eggs I burnt. © Marsha Musselman 2016
I was cringing in anticipation of where this story was going, and I have to say you had me laughing. I told my husband, and he said that was sad. I actually had a similar situation although I wasn't home when it all exploded. I put eggs on to cook on the back burner while making other eggs for breakfast. When I was done with my meal, I had the idea to pull the pot of cooking eggs onto the front burner, but didn't. (I think that was God helping or trying to help me out). After eating I went to get my car checked. After about an hour or so and upon entering into the front room I smelled eggs and thought well I did have them for breakfast. Almost immediately I remembered my cooking eggs. The water had all cooked out and my eggs were everywhere on the stove, walls, floor. What a mess. But, thanks be to God, no fire of any type. How long did you heat those for and I wonder whether there is a way you could do it and still enjoy them without any exploding going on?
@koopharper (6318)
• Canada
24 May 16
I did this at work once. Much more humiliating. Must run in the family or something.
@Tampa_girl7 (21673)
• United States
18 May 16
I know not to boil them in their shell or they will blow the microwave up, but didn't know about this. Thanks for the warning.
• United States
15 May 16
Oh that must have been a sight to see. I guess you best pull out a knife and slice them before heating. Even a dull knife would do. LOL. Or better yet, eat them cold.
@BellaDoc (766)
• San Diego, California
15 May 16
Oh dear. I am amused and bemused, but so sorry this happened to you. Twice. lol. xx
@Inlemay (17336)
• South Africa
13 May 16
ha ha ha you should have taken a selfie for us to see - I remember getting peanut butter all over my glasses one day while sewing, I set them down on my peanut butter toast. Gotta love laughting at ourselves Whoomp!!
@allknowing (55810)
• India
12 May 16
There is a simple way to bring your frozen boiled eggs to normal or even steaming temperature. Just place them in a colander and place the colander in a vessel of water. Close the colander and keep the gas on till the eggs get to the desired feel.