There is a difference between a 'reasonable' goal and silliness

@JolietJake (51061)
United States
May 11, 2016 5:49am CST
But some people just don't 'get it'. 'Success' isn't going to just fall into your lap because you want it to. Snubbing your nose at hard work and saying you are going to accomplish things through other means is for children. No matter what your 'goals', you have to work to get to them. And setting 'fairy tale' goals is not one way to achieve them. Watching as some people sit at home with their Mommy and Daddy taking care of their needs while they try to tell everyone what a 'success' they are going to be is slightly pathetic. What kind of 'success' do they think they are going to gain if they won't get out and take care of themselves? No one ever said life was easy...unless your idea of a life is sitting home and letting someone else take care of things for you. And the people taking care of you need a boot in the rear end as well...if they keep letting you sit there, you're never going to get anywhere else. But maybe they enjoy keeping you dependent on them. However...where will you be when they are gone? If you haven't learned by then to work for yourself, you will likely wind up even worse off than you are now. Sure, we all have dreams...but living in a 'dream world' has never accomplished them... But of course, you can't convince them of that.
28 people like this
25 responses
@Raelove (17750)
• Saco, Maine
11 May 16
What is even sadder is that I actually know some people who have no dreams at all, nor have they ever had them. They've just spent their lives living day to day, working in their mundane jobs, going shopping, filling their lives with useless junk, and calling it good. They explain it away with lame statements like "I live a simple life," or, "I can't afford to dream." I have been a dreamer all my life, and also flat broke many time; but it takes imagination to dream, and not everyone has that. One of my greatest dreams was to one day live in the woods, and I was able to do that, not once, but twice. It took hard work, perseverance, and never losing sight of the dream. Today's technology has robbed many young people of their imaginations, as all their perceptions stare back at them from a screen. So what is left for them dream about?
7 people like this
@JolietJake (51061)
• United States
11 May 16
Oh, dreaming that magic is going to make things all better for them
3 people like this
@Raelove (17750)
• Saco, Maine
11 May 16
@JolietJake To them I say, "Good luck. And you'd better have a budget for each new phone that comes out." Oh wait, they're gonna need a job for that. Silly me.
3 people like this
@JolietJake (51061)
• United States
11 May 16
@Raelove One 'kid' I knew (he was in his late teens) was buying frozen chicken livers to cast 'spells' with and thought they were actually going to bring him money and women...
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (35374)
• Canada
11 May 16
I know what you mean. I have 2 younger brothers who go running to mommie every time its dinner time and they need a meal or have to have a button sewn back on a shirt. Me, I cook myself something to eat, and I can even use the sharp knives to cut my own meat. They live in that fairy tale land and look down on me.
7 people like this
@JolietJake (51061)
• United States
11 May 16
I've watched one family here...7 kids, none of the girls left home until they got married so they'd have someone to take care of them, and none of the boys (except 1) have done anything except sit in their rooms playing video games...sad, really
5 people like this
@Juliaacv (35374)
• Canada
11 May 16
@JolietJake They really are missing out on a lot. Our son moved to another city about an hour from us when he was 23 years old because he found a job in his field. He has done without a lot, but along the way he's cutting his own path, and we're proud of him for that. And its a lot quieter now that its just the 2 of us at home.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (50465)
• United States
11 May 16
Are you related to my dad? He has very little patience for adults living on excuses and other people.
5 people like this
@JolietJake (51061)
• United States
11 May 16
I've just seen too much of it up close...and beat my head nearly bloody against a wall of their denial trying to tell them how it really is
2 people like this
@Lucky15 (33669)
• Philippines
11 May 16
Sigh. They won't learn if someone is always making things for them ;(
4 people like this
@JolietJake (51061)
• United States
11 May 16
They'll never learn to walk on their own if they always use someone else for a crutch.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33669)
• Philippines
11 May 16
@JolietJake pretty sad
1 person likes this
@gudheart (12740)
11 May 16
Some people will not snap out of the fantasy land!
3 people like this
@JolietJake (51061)
• United States
11 May 16
Someday they'll be rudely shoved from it, and won't know what to do
2 people like this
@gudheart (12740)
11 May 16
@JolietJake Yep it be a shock to their system that is for sure.
1 person likes this
@slayer08 (2361)
• Philippines
11 May 16
Maybe I need a boot in the rear for always helping out.. I can't seem to say no to my family even when sometimes i m already in Debt because of it I tell them I'm fine. Thanks for this post I needed to read this..
3 people like this
@JolietJake (51061)
• United States
11 May 16
There is a fine line between helping and enabling...I'll help my family with something if I can and they really need it.
3 people like this
@slayer08 (2361)
• Philippines
11 May 16
@JolietJake I should keep that in mind.. Sometimes it's me that's out of line. I have this guilt, you see, that I somehow felt like I left my family to move on with my life and I haven't gone back home for a lot of years now. I already started with mine independently and every single time they ask for help I would seek for ways to help out..
1 person likes this
• United States
11 May 16
Unfortunately some parents enable their children by letting them stay with them indefinitely. I know quite a few people who are doing just that. There are also those that live with their parents and help pay the bills too. Communal living is okay as long as they are all sharing the expenses.
2 people like this
@JolietJake (51061)
• United States
11 May 16
It's one thing to take a responsibility and contribute towards the household expenses/upkeep, something else entirely when you pay someone else to mow your lawn when you have four (what should be considered) adult boys with no jobs living there, and you won't put your foot down and make any of them do it. And so they don't expect to have to contribute anything.
2 people like this
• United States
11 May 16
@JolietJake yup, that is ridiculous. I would toss them out on their ear. It is one thing to offer a hand up, but when they bite that hand, knock their teeth out.
2 people like this
@akalinus (23009)
• United States
11 May 16
One of my son's is staying with me. It is a long story but he is working two jobs and paying for his own car and on his student loans. He is not here much because he is so busy.
2 people like this
• Grand Junction, Colorado
11 May 16
Parents have raised an entire generation of self entitlements. They don't think they should have to work, everything should be free. They have no work ethic and if they have to get a job, that's all it is a job. They don't want a career, they end up bouncing from one job to another. We are suppose to start interviewing for a position here at work next month and I'm dreading it. This place runs with 2 employees, we both depend on each other to show up to work everyday. No one in this town wants a 9 to 5 job, Monday - Friday, go figure. Back in the day this would have been a great job to take with ideal hours and days, sadly not anymore. People need to stop being so nice and politically correct, I say get up off your a$$ get a job, those that earn get to eat. I don't work my a$$ off to support lazy freeloaders. Don't get me wrong I have helped my kids in the past when they needed it, but they only needed help for a short time and were right back on there feet supporting themselves. I raised them to be self sufficient, but that sometimes a person needs a little help and it's ok to ask for help when you need it. The help isn't to last a lifetime.
@boiboing (12879)
• Northampton, England
11 May 16
Too many young people these days see 'ambition' as winning the X-factor or marrying a footballer. That's not ambition - it's self-delusion.
2 people like this
@glenniah (1201)
• Mandurah, Australia
11 May 16
Agreed
2 people like this
@yugocean (8850)
• India
12 May 16
I am like that, after losing all my dreams, I am with no dream now. Yet it's always best to support your parents instead of becoming burden on them.
1 person likes this
@savak03 (6676)
• United States
12 May 16
You are preaching to the choir here Mikey. My son just came and asked me if I wanted to go in halves on a house he just found. The house sounds really great but I know from experience that my so called half would soon be everything I have. I am not going to fall for that again.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105555)
• United States
12 May 16
I thought you were going to talk about the people who plan to make ten dollars a day here. This is different, but accurate. It reminds me of something I wanted to post.
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4069)
• China
12 May 16
We cannot stop people from doing what they want, even if it is detrimental or stupid to them.
1 person likes this
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
12 May 16
I understand your point, all too well. I think the key word here is 'reasonable', but, what is reasonable? How do we measure it? of course, good old common sense can gives us some hints, but, unless we dream big, we will never accomplish big either. Respect to the other people, I think is a very different problem, I think there are people, comfortable having them dependent to them on one hand, and they getting used to this situation on the other hand, neither one, have realistic goals, life is hard, indeed, but is harder if you don't spare a bit of it, to dream. Then, work hard, of course.
@andriaperry (64131)
• Anniston, Alabama
12 May 16
I cannot count how many I know that have lost mom and dad and are now crying for help, I say " get a job!" I have not lived at home since I was 17 years old. AND I have worked since I was 13, babysitting then and now I own rental houses.
1 person likes this
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
12 May 16
A few years ago, I had to give one of my fledglings a little shove out of the comfort of the nest. It was more scary for me than for her. Young people often are so optimistic, because life hasn't yet taught them to be afraid. So it's us parents who experience the trepidation. The fledgling flies off, excited by the newfound freedom, free to seek their own adventures...
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (47878)
• Centralia, Missouri
11 May 16
hey now, leave my goals of winning the lotto alone! lol
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (13051)
• United States
11 May 16
I know a family where the mom loved her son (maybe too much?) and did everything for him to "protect" him. Now at 22, he has no idea how to function in the real world. He's had to grow up in a real hurry. Sad.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (18210)
• Fairfield, Texas
11 May 16
Somebody stole my rose-colored glasses a long time ago @JolietJake .
1 person likes this