My Own Little Temper Tantrum

By Lola
@Lolaze (2801)
St. Louis, Missouri
May 18, 2016 5:32pm CST
I am not in a good mood tonight. I feel like everyone (by everyone I mean professionals) don't really care about how I feel (meaning my distress level). They only care that I don't show how much distress I'm in. I wrote last night that my therapist mentioned shipping me off somewhere out of state for treatment. She doesn't even know where. And it would be a type of treatment I find counter to everything I believe in. Instead of embracing and acknowledging emotions, its all about regulating and learning to control them. Push them aside, stuff them back down, smile when you feel bad (that last one is a real skill taught by this method!). Distract, distract, distract. I spend my whole life distracting myself from my emotions just to survive...I don't need to be taught to do multiplication games in my head and such. Nothing feels like its really about helping me right now, its just about shutting me up.
5 people like this
4 responses
@marguicha (76297)
• Chile
19 May 16
CanĀ“t you get a doctor from another school of therapy?
1 person likes this
@Lolaze (2801)
• St. Louis, Missouri
19 May 16
I like this doctor, she's just being very difficult at the moment.
2 people like this
@marguicha (76297)
• Chile
19 May 16
@Lolaze Have you had her for a long time? If so, explain to her how difficult it is for you to be sent elsewhere.
1 person likes this
@Lolaze (2801)
• St. Louis, Missouri
19 May 16
@marguicha 3 years. And her sending me away is not really going to happen due to my insurance. I have state insurance which would never cover what she wants to do. I'm just venting tonight.
2 people like this
@EddieHands (30983)
• United States
19 May 16
I am sorry to hear you are not in a good mood. They should care more about how you feel.. and they should be nicer.
@Lolaze (2801)
• St. Louis, Missouri
19 May 16
They do, I was just having a bad night last night
@bunnybon7 (31050)
• Holiday, Florida
18 May 16
I don't know your problem exactly but I never was able to control mine either. but have been able to push back some pain by thinking and managing /distracting with other things until a time came I could take those thoughts and feelings out and face them more calmly . sorry but I never believed in therapist of that nature if it has to do with the depression thing. hope you figure a way to face it yourself without self medicating
@Lolaze (2801)
• St. Louis, Missouri
18 May 16
MyLot is my self medication :P Plus I have a whole ton of legally prescribed psychotropic meds
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (24996)
• United States
18 May 16
wow. My psychiatrist has never once mentioned shipping me off anywhere.