My Own Little Temper Tantrum

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I am not in a good mood tonight. I feel like everyone (by everyone I mean professionals) don't really care about how I feel (meaning my distress level). They only care that I don't show how much distress I'm in. I wrote last night that my therapist mentioned shipping me off somewhere out of state for treatment. She doesn't even know where. And it would be a type of treatment I find counter to everything I believe in. Instead of embracing and acknowledging emotions, its all about regulating and learning to control them. Push them aside, stuff them back down, smile when you feel bad (that last one is a real skill taught by this method!). Distract, distract, distract. I spend my whole life distracting myself from my emotions just to survive...I don't need to be taught to do multiplication games in my head and such. Nothing feels like its really about helping me right now, its just about shutting me up.